The Curious Incident of the Pulitzer in the Night-Time

Why is the Times so obsessed with autism? It’s like they’re in their own little world, not looking out, just focusing inward.

Battling Insurers Over Autism Treatment, December 21, 2004, by MILT FREUDENHEIM, appearing in the Business section

How About Not ‘Curing’ Us, Some Autistics Are Pleading, December 20, 2004, by AMY HARMON, appearing in the Health section

In Autism, New Goal Is Finding It Soon Enough to Fight It, December 14, 2004, by ANAHAD O’CONNOR, appearing in the Health section

For Siblings of the Autistic, a Burdened Youth, December 10, 2004, by JANE GROSS, appearing in the National Desk section
One subject matter. One human interest. Three different sections. Three different weeks. Four different dates. Four different writers.


This, Of Course, Comes From a Guy Who Got “Gentleman C’s” At Yale

“President Bush strongly defended Defense Secretary Donald H. Rumsfeld today, declaring that the Pentagon chief is doing ‘a really fine job’…”
Bush Defends Rumsfeld, Saying He’s Doing ‘a Really Fine Job’, by David Stout, The New York Times, Dec. 2004.
Related: If you google “gentleman C’s”, almost all the hits are for Bush. Maybe William Safire or Jesse Sheidlower can give us the full etymology.


Portraits of Liberation (from an inexhaustible series, natch)



Exercises in suitable captioning, where “suitable” means “tasteless”, which in turn means, “What the fuck were they thinking?”

More proof that wire-service photo editors have a top-notch sense of humor, at least when it comes to fetuses and acts of depravity: The above image was attached to the latest A.P. wire story about that whole “I killed a woman and cut her unborn baby from her mangled womb” news item from last week.
Seriously. That image right there. Of the suspect maternally holding a fucking chihuahua or some other hirsute little newborn.
Thankfully, they clarify the presence of the dog with their accompanying caption:

This is an undated photo showing Lisa M. Montgomery, a resident of Melvern, Kan. Montgomery was arrested late Friday, Dec. 17, 2004, and charged with kidnapping resulting in death in a case of a woman being murdered and her 8-month-old fetus cut out of her womb. The baby of Bobbie Jo Stinnett was recovered and was reported in good condition on Saturday. (AP Photo/Maryville Daily Forum)

See? Embedded somewhere within those clauses is a full and rational explanation for using this particular photo of the woman. You just have to be one of those university-trained “close readers”, perhaps.
Me? I’m just a loving asshole who adores puppy portraits, and fuck if I don’t get angry when such cute photos are tainted with the Anne Geddes-esque stigma of dead mothers and shortened pregnancies.


Because, apparently, Sec. Rumsfeld’s usage of an automated-signature device is the single greatest reason to call for his stepping down

From “Grieving Families Outraged over Rumsfeld Condolence Letters“, The Christian Broadcasting Network, December 20, 2004:

A deadly weekend in Iraq could spell more trouble ahead for next month’s elections. And the President’s defense chief is at the center of controversy, this time over condolence letters to families of military soldiers killed in action.
But relatives of the deceased soldiers, and even some congressional leaders, are outraged that Rumsfeld used a machine to stamp his signature on more than 1,000 letters that have already been mailed.

And now for the completely unanticipated A.P. followup: “Bush Comes to Rumsfeld’s Defense


Thanks Again to Lynndie England, Charles Graner, et. al. for Giving Everyone Who Hates America the Ultimate Christmas (or “Holiday”) Present

Image War: Cuban anti-American billboard, as seen by AFP in two, views.
Related: All this over Christmas decorations.


Adventures in the Skin Trade, Vol. 2

Wes Anderson (left) at “The Aviator” premiere and C. Montgomery Burns (right)

OC-centric Shallow

An Exclusive Excerpt from the New Osama bin Laden Tape

OBL.jpgIf it is not too unseemly for a man of my wealth and abundant religious and intellectual gifts to complain, I must say that the hardest part of being on the run in the mountains of Tora Bora is how often I miss my favorite infidel television program, The O.C.
Why are you laughing? Who says that a righteous man, a man who seeks to break the back of the American Satan, cannot enjoy a few laughs once in a while, a little eye candy? I work 24 hours a day to destroy America and the secularist lambs that follow it like, well, like lambs. Can I not take one hour a week to bask in the comforting Southern California glow of The O.C.? Can I not spend a little Osama time in the land of perpetual summer time?
Do you know what I go through just to see the show you infidels take for granted? It must be taped off a secure satellite feed by one of my operatives, and then smuggled inside his rectum as he traverses the unforgiving Afghan terrain to whatever cave or modest safe house I am inhabiting that day. All this, so that I may re-immerse myself in the travails of the Jew Seth Cohen and the Christian Ryan Atwood? (Don’t even get me started on Chrismukkah: I love it, but I don’t even know which part of that holiday I’d want to destroy first if I had the chance.)
While I enjoy the jihad thing, the best part of my week is watching The O.C. while eating some sugar free SnackWell Cookies which have also been smuggled to my lair in someone’s rectum. (What? I do not judge your infidel food—and I saw Supersize Me!)
Now do you understand why I often appear cranky and irritable in the videos I send to Al Jazeera? I am usually mad because my holy soldiers are so often captured or killed by your army as they make their way to me with my tapes! I have missed whole plot arcs—and I would thank you not to tell them to me, I fully intend to see them eventually—and while reading infidel websites like Television Without Pity help, it is just not the same. I want my O.C., and without it, Osama becomes a grumpy Gus!
Let me be truthful with you: I am very ill and the only thing that is keeping me alive at this point is The O.C.. I have been going through the motions of hating America for over a year now (frankly, you can all fuck yourselves, I’m so over you), but what keeps me going is this show, this popular culture phenomenon that we share together.
It’s actually quite nice to be a part of something, instead of always being on the outside looking in. I do not know you, but because of The O.C., I feel we could be friends. Maybe we can IM a bit after the show tonight, if you’re not too busy? If not, I can come visit you soon at your home.
Actually, I can almost guarantee you that I will be visiting you at your home soon. I hope you have some sugar free SnackWell Cookies. I do love them so.
Actually, I’ve never seen The O.C.; I’m sure it’s pretty good.
The O.C. airs Thursday nights at 8PM EST on FOX.
Earlier: Other thoughts on The O.C


Meet Your New Model Overlord

In a complete miscarriage of justice, it’s Eva, while anyone in their right mind knows Yaya was robbed.
(And that Adrianne Curry has been such a rousing success.)


Three Stooges Receive Presidential Medals of Failure

Nyuck, Nyuck, Nyuck: Bremer, Franks, and Tenet.