Thanksgiving 2003: the Mourn of Plenty

thanksgiving 2003.jpg

Army Spc. Rel A. Ravago IV, age 21; Glendale, CA
Enlisted American fatalities since March 2003
[With apologies and admiration for George Lois.]


Those 70′s Guys

From this week’s New Yorker, ‘Talk of the Town’:
“The Reverend William Sloane Coffin, now seventy-nine and suffering from terminal heart disease…” The Light Of Sunday by Ben McGrath
“Tobin grew up in Elizabeth, New Jersey, and still lives there, in a four-bedroom house on a quiet tree-lined street. Seventy-nine years old, he works most days at his law firm, a few minutes away.” Times Warp by Alicia DeSantis
“Omar Sharif—Cairo Fred to his friends—has played a bandit and a Catholic priest and Khalil Gibran and Tsar Nicholas II and the British agent Cedric, who gets trash-compacted in “Top Secret!” He is seventy-one.” Cairo Fred by Dana Goodyear
Of course, this guy makes them all seem like pishers:
“Richard Walter, who is eighty-one, and his wife, Linda, who is a little younger than that (they’ve been married for thirty-five years), sleep in separate bedrooms in apartment 6D at 1016 Fifth Avenue, an elegant limestone-and-brick prewar building that faces the Metropolitan Museum of Art, along one of the most expensive strips of real estate in New York.” The Noises by Nick Paumgarten


Commander in Chief of Pop

gwbbloglogo_120.jpgAfter all the discussion last month about President Bush’s dismissal of the national news media as a “filter”, rather than a conduit, for his “message”, it’s super-meta-blogging quiz time here at low culture: Between Michael Jackson and George W. Bush, guess which public figure had his media folks say this about his newly-launched blog (the obvious giveaways have been “blacked out“):

“…the Web site allows _____ to bypass the news media to deliver his side of the story to the public.
“He’s able to communicate with those people interested without the message being filtered by the media,” said _____. “If he wants to put out an 800-word press release, you can read all 800 words.”

Bonus points go to whomever can guess which of these two public figures has been arrested at some point in his life (though I guess that doesn’t really help to clarify anything).
Extra bonus points go to whomever can justify, or at least explain, the use of the scribbled crayon font in Bush’s blog logo (see the actual graphic above).
*(Answer, if you really care about the previous quote: Michael Jackson.)



In a low culture breaking news exclusive, the Abercrombie & Fitch Quarterly, scandal sheet-cum-catalogue has been pulled from the countless college outfitters dotting our nation’s malls. While these actions will deprive sporty-types of saucy interviews with Paris Hilton, requisite profiles of the O.C. cast, and all the homoerotica that’s fit to print, the move represents a victory of sorts for New York Post columnist Michelle Malkin, Catholic League malcontent William Donohue and the countless National Coalitions that seek to protect people from themselves. Campuses everywhere are reeling.


Offending Upwards

Gregg Easterbook has found a new home for his football blog: Good thing, too, since it’s been a few minutes since anyone mentioned his dumb ass. Too bad Radosh is so busy changing diapers, ’cause I’m sure he has what to say on this matter.
Good luck, Gregg: I’m sure you’ll fuck this gig up, too.
Earlier thoughts on Gregg Easterbrook from low culture: What Easterbrook Could Learn from Rousseau
[via Romenesko]


Ku Klutz Klan

kkk.jpgParticipant at KKK initiation wounded after shots fired into sky
JOHNSON CITY, Tennessee (AP) — A bullet fired in the air during a Ku Klux Klan initiation ceremony came down and struck a participant in the head, critically injuring him, authorities said.
Gregory Allen Freeman, 45, was charged with aggravated assault and reckless endangerment in the Saturday night incident that wounded Jeffery S. Murr, 24.

Excuse me while I laugh until milk shoots out my nose.


Day 2 Retractions (Round 4)

While we’ve already snidely covered the numerous instances wherein the U.S. military’s documentation of events has moved from loudly inflammatory on day 1, to quietly inaccurate on day 2, we’re proud to admit another entrant into low culture‘s “Regretful Press Release 2003” contest.
Day 1, November 23, 2003:

Three US soldiers were killed in northern Iraq on Sunday, including two in the heart of the city of Mosul who witnesses said had their throats slit.
Two shopkeepers who saw the attack said the two soldiers killed had their throats slit after being ambushed in traffic.
A senior US military spokesperson said it would be “ghoulish” to comment on the testimony, but did not specifically deny it.

Day 1, continued, November 23, 2003:

An Iraqi mob, most of them teenagers, dragged two bloodied soldiers from the car, threw them to the ground and pummeled their bodies with concrete blocks, according to witnesses, describing a burst of savagery reminiscent of that in Somalia a decade ago.

Day 2, November 24, 2003:

Military officials retracted a report today that two American soldiers had been slashed in their throats in an attack Sunday in the northern city of Mosul.
A military official here, speaking on the condition of anonymity, said that the two soldiers had died of gunshot wounds to the head and that their bodies had been pulled by Iraqis from their car and robbed of their personal belongings.
The military official said that contrary to some reports, the men had not been beaten by rocks or mutilated in any way…
…Another mystery was the initial reports about the men having their throats cut. The official could offer no explanation for that.

Until round 5 of the contest begins, we recommend’s 317th-ranked bestseller, co-authored by Rick Bragg and Paul Wolfowitz.


What a difference a day makes

On Sunday you’re photographed in The New York Times Magazine in your ‘castle in the sky,’ your “1958 eight-seater De Havilland Beaver DH-2 restored to [your] specifications.” On Monday, you’re on page A9 of the same publication with a sign that reads Will Work For Food.
Won’t you please remember the neediest and rent Hollywood Homicide this holiday weekend?
Seriously, though: despite what our ‘friends’ say, we here at low culture aren’t complete fucking assholes. Please go to and make a donation this year.


Hey New York Magazine: Whaaaaaaaaaaaazuppp?!

rapwars.gifThis week, New York Magazine took a break from passing the Grey Poupon and traveled uptown—way, way uptown—to write about something called rap ‘music.’
But more amazing than having the Towncar take you across 110th Street, is the fact that New York also went back in time for their headline, “Got Beef?”
“Got Beef?” Not a bad hed. Where’d they come up with that?
Hey, New York, next time try to Think Different, won’t you?
Earlier thoughts on New York Magazine from low culture: New York‘s Amazing Feet; I Call Bullshit on New York Magazine


The Dated Game

heartcover.jpgWere you aware that online dating is all the rage? If you missed last year’s big story, this Sunday’s New York Times Magazine is happy to provide all the anonymous profiles you need to understand “how Internet dating is re-engineering flirtation…” As if that’s not exciting enough, in a low culture exclusive, we’re previewing feature pieces from future issues of the Times Magazine.
Las Nuevas Sonidas: Why Ricky Martin represents a seismic shift in popular music.
Dave Eggers: Remember the name. This low-key moptop is about to revolutionize the publishing industry.
Swinging from a Star: Does swing dancing portend a sea change in the bar scene?
Napster This!: How one little computer program will profoundly change the music industry.