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Exercises in suitable captioning, where “suitable” means “tasteless”, which in turn means, “What the fuck were they thinking?”

kidnapped_fetus_caption.jpg
More proof that wire-service photo editors have a top-notch sense of humor, at least when it comes to fetuses and acts of depravity: The above image was attached to the latest A.P. wire story about that whole “I killed a woman and cut her unborn baby from her mangled womb” news item from last week.
Seriously. That image right there. Of the suspect maternally holding a fucking chihuahua or some other hirsute little newborn.
Thankfully, they clarify the presence of the dog with their accompanying caption:

This is an undated photo showing Lisa M. Montgomery, a resident of Melvern, Kan. Montgomery was arrested late Friday, Dec. 17, 2004, and charged with kidnapping resulting in death in a case of a woman being murdered and her 8-month-old fetus cut out of her womb. The baby of Bobbie Jo Stinnett was recovered and was reported in good condition on Saturday. (AP Photo/Maryville Daily Forum)

See? Embedded somewhere within those clauses is a full and rational explanation for using this particular photo of the woman. You just have to be one of those university-trained “close readers”, perhaps.
Me? I’m just a loving asshole who adores puppy portraits, and fuck if I don’t get angry when such cute photos are tainted with the Anne Geddes-esque stigma of dead mothers and shortened pregnancies.

18 replies on “Exercises in suitable captioning, where “suitable” means “tasteless”, which in turn means, “What the fuck were they thinking?””

It’s not like the AP broke into her house and burgled the most inappropriate photo they could fine. This picture was most likely supplied to the press by the victim’s family…BY THE VICTIM’S FAMILY…what the hell were THEY thinking?

Maybe I’m missing something, but why are you assuming it was supplied by the victim’s family? It could very well be HER family, trying to paint her in a cuddly light.

“cuddly light”? hmmm, i wonder what chihuahua she ripped that puppy from? she looks deranged from every angle. and i’d be willing to bet my left tit that she’s religious and voted for Bush.

She found the victim in a online group about rat terriers, and entered the home on the pretence of buying one of the victim’s rat terriers. The press probably got the photo from the same online group.
The Internet is a cruel mistress.

If the stereotype fits…
Apparently the stereotype fits like a glove since her husband and his 3 children appeared in church on sunday begging forgiveness for his wife. As far as voting for Bush, undetermined as of yet. But again, I’ll give it up, because if it fits the stereotype…
Look, “a different jessica” I live in a red state where religion rules all, including how children are treated. Ever visited a born-again Christian family where they whip their children with belts for speaking out of line? I watched these children from next door, beat every single pet they managed to wrangle into their fold. And when they weren’t looking, those “pets” were dognapped and given to families elsewhere with more meaningful values.
Now, how am I going to spend those 10 points?!

so, because you know a few people who claim to be ‘good christians’ while whipping their children you can paint all ‘religious’ people that way? Give me a break. I’m ‘religious’, a Christian in fact, and i live in a blue state, where I voted democratic, and I don’t beat my pets…but go ahead, judge all on the actions of a few. That always works out for the best.

the internet is a cruel mistress
i wonder what chihuahua she ripped that puppy from?
Ha! Best quotes of the day. Jesus, when I saw this picture I was sure it was a hoax. Alas, no.

Really duncanini,
Maybe you should step back and look at the rest of the world. I am religious, and was raised religious. And yes, when I was very bad I got a spanking, but that doesn’t mean that I was abused. Most of my friends were raised in Christian home, very conservative ones at that, and I don’t remember thinking any of them were abused either. Your stereotyping is about as useful as when Republicans say that none of us have any values.

whoa, back off there christian soldiers. forgive me, for apparently i’ve sinned against you.
i’m outraged too so get off your mighty little horses. our president has troops killing innocent civilians every day in a country where people hold values as important as your’s and mine. i’m outraged that he continues to lie through his teeth under some ridiculous religious code and people continue to believe him.
did you ever wonder how many pregant women in iraq have been murdered by the hands of american soldiers under orderes from their executive in chief? that same chief who gave the executive order of torture and abuse. not really unlike this sick woman who really wanted a baby so badly that she visciously murdered to get one.
nothing good happens in the name of religion. and again, i’m willing to bet another body part that most “christians” wouldn’t give jesus the time of day if he walked up to them on the street asking for help.
dear lord, save me from your followers!!!!!

call me when your world view is out of highschool. I don’t support George Bush, his war OR claim to have similar values. There are as many varieties of Christian in the world as there are breeds of apple. And don’t tell me who I would or would not help on the street seeing as you don’t know JACK SHIT about me.

wow, coming from a “christian” i’m surprised you’d be interested in “rage sex”.
being a “non-christian” i’m really not interested.
your phone number was so i could call you when my world view is out of high school.

Here’s a secret, Christians have sex too. AND LOTS OF IT.
I’m in the phone book under taxidermy.

“I’m in the phone book under taxidermy.”
So, you live at Elmyra’s house, a different jessica?
Tee hee!

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