From the (barely visible) cover of February, 2005’s Seventeen magazine:
Jamie Lynn Spears – Britney’s Sister Confesses… “I Don’t Want to Get Too Famous”
Really? Then why exactly are you on the goddamned cover of Seventeen?
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Author: guy
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Made of Clay
The following are troubling sentences taken out of context from Clay Aiken’s sure-to-be-smash hit, Learning to Sing: Hearing the Music in Your Life, his memoir-cum-self helper-cum-religious manifesto. All quotes courtesy Amazon’s “Search Inside This Book.”
Page 5: She replied that a wife was someone who would cook for me and wash my clothes and love me, and I said to her, “I’m already married.” Mom laughed and said, “To whom?” And I said, “You, Mama!”
Page 38: I was so conflicted.
Page 65: Little boys don’t wake up and say, “Gee, my yanking that little boy’s underpants out of his corduroys is mean-spirited…”
Page 96: For some reason I’ve rarely been able to say “I love you” straight to his face.
Page 126: I felt out of control. I was this big, wet mess, trying to crawl into an old woman’s arms.
Page 145: Jeff trusted me to run a camp of 150 kids.
Page 197: That I never need to see another video with a pretty young girl dressed like a hooker.
Page 224: I met some people who were Moravian.
Page 229: Determing what faith a child will have is a decision that should be made at home, not at the YMCA camp.
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Lady Metroland’s Guide to the Jet-Set
Rule 1: Whilst attending an event with Mohamed Al-Fayed, avoid photo ops at all costs.
Jennifer Love Hewitt and al-Fayed open the Harrods January 2004 Sale.
Lucy Liu and al-Fayed open the Harrods January 2005 Sale.
Lucy Liu and al-Fayed open the Harrods January 2005 Sale (cont.).
[Big ups TK…]
From US Weekly, January 10, 2005:
“Three days later, [Angelina] Jolie strolled around a market near Beirut, Lebanon. ‘[My son] Maddox is Buddhist, so I’m making Christmas a time where he learns about new countries,’ she said recently.”
Feline survivor : A cat who survived the tidal wave, walks among the debris in search of food on the worst hit Thai island of Phi Phi. (AFP/Saeed Khan)
RELATED: One-year-old Hannes Bergman of Sweden
ALSO RELATED: Tween Karl Nilsson of Sweden
ALSO, ALSO RELATED: German baby, another German baby, German Nickelodeon fans, and brave, brave Petra Nemcova (practically German (Czech) and likely developmentally disabled (super-attractive)).
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Super Boys’ Club
Comic Book Resource features its share of explosive comic book rumor-mongering (Magneto fears for the life of Scarlet Witch?!), but nothing can quite compare to the journalistic dynamite contained in Rich Johnston’s most recent column. Specifically,
But then there was the Superman movie rumour. Still not totally resolved, still looking more likely by the minute, with massive impications all over the place, it had to be Rumour Of The Year.
That Bryan Singer wanted to cast an actor who was in the closet, and who would declare themselves to be gay in the lead up to, or during the release of the film. So that it would have a meta-textual element, over secret identities, and also give young gay individuals a positive role model in their lives. And presumably, not make stereotypical remarks about men dressed in tight colourful leotards.
On, and then, Brandon Routh being cast in the lead.
As the evangelical churches of the USA hold their breath, ready to start an onslaught of whipped up mob-hatred, Dan DiDio gingerly accepted the award on behalf of DC. “You know, we’re appointing a Senior Vice President of Marketing? Something tells me I think we’re going to need him…”
Let’s take a look at some of the evidence available for speculating on Brandon Routh’s sexuality, and see if we can’t clear things up.
-According to his imdb entry, Brandon is sometimes credited as “B. J. Routh”. B.J. is homosexual slang for a hummer.
-Among B.J.’s television appearances? An episode of Will and Grace, a homosexual sitcom, titled “A Gay/December Romance.”
-B.J.’s official site is BrandonRouth.tv. In homosexual patois, TV stands for transexual.
-According to some, largely unsubstantiated reports, director Bryan Singer is gay.
The verdict? Get ready to start your righteous indignation…
From Reuters, “Bride and Prejudice” Star Mulls Screen Kiss, Sunday, Jan. 2, 2005:
“Bride and Prejudice” star Aishwarya Rai, one of the top stars of India’s prim film industry, says she won’t rule out kissing in films when she moves from “Bollywood” to Hollywood — although she says it is certain to create a minor scandal among her fans.
…
She has never kissed on screen — not even after 24 films because kissing is taboo in the Indian cinema. Rai said if she did kiss someone on screen in a Hollywood movie, it would create a minor scandal among her fans.
Related: Your Ultimate Movie Guide
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Adventures in the Skin Trade, Vol. 2
Wes Anderson (left) at “The Aviator” premiere and C. Montgomery Burns (right)
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Meet Your New Model Overlord
In a complete miscarriage of justice, it’s Eva, while anyone in their right mind knows Yaya was robbed.
(And that Adrianne Curry has been such a rousing success.)
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In the Crosshairs
As part of low culture’s ongoing commitment to taking the fun out of everything, we are proud to present our first (and possibly last (it’s very annoying typing this in)) New York Times crossword puzzle cheat sheet. Impress friends, lovers, or anyone who is actually impressed by this kind of crap.