Made of Clay

The following are troubling sentences taken out of context from Clay Aiken’s sure-to-be-smash hit, Learning to Sing: Hearing the Music in Your Life, his memoir-cum-self helper-cum-religious manifesto. All quotes courtesy Amazon’s “Search Inside This Book.”
Page 5: She replied that a wife was someone who would cook for me and wash my clothes and love me, and I said to her, “I’m already married.” Mom laughed and said, “To whom?” And I said, “You, Mama!”
Page 38: I was so conflicted.
Page 65: Little boys don’t wake up and say, “Gee, my yanking that little boy’s underpants out of his corduroys is mean-spirited…”
Page 96: For some reason I’ve rarely been able to say “I love you” straight to his face.
Page 126: I felt out of control. I was this big, wet mess, trying to crawl into an old woman’s arms.
Page 145: Jeff trusted me to run a camp of 150 kids.
Page 197: That I never need to see another video with a pretty young girl dressed like a hooker.
Page 224: I met some people who were Moravian.
Page 229: Determing what faith a child will have is a decision that should be made at home, not at the YMCA camp.