Being a journalist is hard work. You have to pound the pavement in search of sources, burn the candle at both ends to write engaging sentences, and worst of all, you have to read the whole blurb on the dust jacket of a book for that deep, deep background.
Ask anyone writing about super producer-turned-alleged murderer, Phil Spector. This comes the back cover blurb of Mark Ribowsky’s 1989 book He’s A Rebel: Phil Spector, Rock and Roll’s Legendary Producer: “Phil Spector created the ‘wall of sound,’ produced the Beatles’ last record, persuaded the Ramones to go ‘pop,’ made the Righteous brothers sound respectable, and was a millionaire by age 21.”
If that last part of the sentence sounds familiar, then you’ve been paying attention:
“As songwriter, guitarist and backup singer for the band, which hit the big time with To Know Him is to Love Him, he became a millionaire by the age of 21.
“‘To Know Him Is to Love Him’ and made him a millionaire by age 21.”
“By the time he was 21, Spector was a millionaire.”
“ Spector was a millionaire by age 21, and his music career exploded after he came onto the music scene as a member of the band the Teddy Bears.”
“Spector had started his career as a musician with a band called the Teddy Bears before embarking on a songwriting and production career that made him a millionaire by the age of 21.”
“Spector was only 21 years old, and he was a millionaire.”
“…the youngest record company head and a millionaire age 21, dubbed Tycoon of Teen.”
“Spector got his start in the music business in 1958 as a songwriter, guitarist and backup singer for the Los Angeles group the Teddy Bears, which had a hit single with ‘To Know Him is to Love Him’ and made him a millionaire by age 21. ”
Spector began promoting, producing and creating bands when he was in his teens, and was a millionaire by the time he was 21.”
“Phil Spector, the legendary but reclusive American producer who invented the ‘wall of sound’, hit No. 1 with his very first single and was a millionaire by 21.”
“By 21, Spector was a millionaire and a maverick dubbed the ‘teen tycoon’ by author Tom Wolfe.”
I don’t know, know, know about you, but I broke into a sweat just summarizing it.
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Tracks‘ Marks
I thought Tracks Magazine the new Alan Light/John Rollins joint, was gonna be all about music. Why the hell is Wolverine on the cover of the first issue?
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Not Here, Not Now
Kmart using Jesus Jones‘ paean to democracy in Eastern Europe? That’s just wrong. Really wrong.
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The chump’s stump speech
President Bush, despite his being a longtime proponent of repetitive mantras, really ought to look into hiring a new set of speechwriters, lest we have to endure, yet again, his uttering the following lines when asked about protests against his administration’s policies.
November 20, 2003, on London’s protesters:
“Freedom is beautiful,” Bush said today, adding he was happy to be in a country where people were allowed to speak their minds freely. “All I know is that people in Baghdad weren’t allowed to do this until recent history.”
November 17, 2003, anticipating London’s protesters:
“I am so pleased to be going to a country which says that people are allowed to express their mind. That’s fantastic. Freedom is a beautiful thing,” he told the Press Association.
May 21, 2003, on Berlin’s protesters:
“That’s good. That’s democracy,” Bush said of the protests. “See, I love to visit a place that is confident in her freedom, a place where people feel free to express themselves, because that’s what I believe in.”
February 15, 2003, on worldwide protests:
“The president views force as a last resort. He still hopes for a peaceful resolution and that is up to Saddam Hussein,” White House spokeswoman Jeanie Mamo said. “The president is a strong advocate for freedom and democracy. And one of the democratic values that we hold dear is the right of people to peacefully assemble and express their views.”
Have we reached saturation yet?
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The politics of refurbishment
Welcome to multimedia corner here at low culture!
In keeping with this week’s visit to the United Kingdom by President Bush, the British comedian- cum- scandal-artist -cum-filmmaker Chris Morris has re-posted his two “Bushwhacked” cut-and-paste parody collages of the President’s 2002 and 2003 State of the Union addresses.
While these have circulated as audio files since, well, a few days after the initial speech(es) were made, those of us with “digital divide-less” broadband connections are now treated to the full audio-visual experience, which is a vast improvement on the nearly year-old MP3s.
To borrow a phrase that the papers seem so fond of citing, “nearly seven months since President Bush declared the end of major combat operations in Iraq,” there’s something quite perverse about seeing House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi grin wickedly at Bush’s butchered announcement that “the American flag stands for…cutting out tongues…and rape.”
Among the 150,000 protesters who greeted President Bush in England this week were the members of The Lefty Spice Girls. On the left (naturally) we have Fiona (aka ‘Anti-Globalization Spice’); in the middle is Johri (aka ‘Stop War Now Spice’); and in the back is Alex M. (‘Environmental Justice Spice’). Not pictured: Alex G. (aka, ‘Workers’ Rights Spice’) and Miranda (aka, ‘Legalize Marijuana Spice’).
Tell me what you want, what you really, really want… If you want my future, correct your past/If you wanna get with me, end the slog real fast…
Sidebar: What is the deal with photographers only shooting pretty girls at protests and rallies? I mean, that has to be the oldest scam in the book: “Hey, why don’t you give me your number and I’ll give you a print of this. You know, I’m pals with the photo editor at the paper, I can definitely make your whole sign visible…”
Check it out: 1; 2; 3; 4; 5. I could go on forever here. Don’t make me go on forever, okay?
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Biting the Hand that Wanks you
The hard-hitting newsmen and women at CBS News in New York decided to follow last night’s spankin’ Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show (Grambo review, TK) with a report on how unsanitary Victoria’s Secret retail stores are. Here’s a cringe-inducing sample of the report:
John, not his real name, is a disgruntled former employee of two Victoria’s Secret stores. He came to us with the revolting allegation that it was store practice to take back used underwear and then resell it.
“When women would come in, I would be disgusted. I knew they were returning something they wore out to a date or just wore out to a club and it’s like, you want another woman to buy this?” said John.
[Reporter Arnold] Diaz asked John if there were there times that he put back underwear that he was pretty sure was used, “Yeah, all the time, all the time. I don’t even like touching it, I hold it by the tag because I don’t want to put my hands on that.”
What the hell do you call that? An apology? A rebuke? Synergy?
Courtney, we really, really knew ye.
You know that totally narcissistic fantasy you have about being able to attend your own funeral and hear what everyone has to say about you? (You know, like this guy.) Well, the girl with the most cake gets to have that experience without all the messy details of dying first.
This week, The Stranger looks back at the life of Courtney Love from her musical legacy to her amazing Hollywood make-over. There’s also a peak at new Loves and a celebrity humurist/eulogist to crack wise. (David Kamp wasn’t free, so they got this dude.)
It’s sad. She had so much to live for, but I guess she just couldn’t live through this.*
* Please don’t post that Courtney, as of 8AM EST is still alive. I get the joke, okay?
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Delusions of Commandeur
President Bush, who apparently reads People magazine just like the rest of us, is hip to B-level pop culture. According to Fox News, when the president was asked about the large-scale protests that greeted his arrival in England this week, he indicated his appreciation of the phenomenon by acknowledging that
"the last American to cause such a ruckus in the city was illusionist David Blaine, who recently spent 44 days in a self-imposed fast in an elevated plastic box above the Thames River. For the first few days, Blaine’s box was pelted with food and the people jeered at him.
‘A few might have been happy to provide similar arrangements for me," Bush said, adding that he was grateful to the Queen for interceding and allowing him to stay at Buckingham Palace."
Oh, and one other point about this article. While it’s so, so passé to marvel at the amazingly limited worldview of Fox News and its audience, some of their antics continue to provide fresh opportunities for amazement. Such as today’s headline (since relegated solely to an appearance on the front page) for this "Blaine-dropping" article: "Bush Gets Royal Treatment."
"Royal treatment" apparently no longer implies "pampering," "adoration" or a waitstaff tending to your every need. This new iteration somehow incorporates negative poll numbers indicating that a majority of British citizens were opposed to and inconvenienced by his visit, as well as managing to invoke the plans for nearly 100,000 protesters to march upon and topple a Saddam-esque effigy of the President in Trafalgar Square on Thursday.