Category: Shallow

Through all the accusations of pederasty, paedophilia, and boy-fucking, fans of both the Papacy and Michael Jackson have stood tall. Can you tell the difference? Click through for the answer.

It’s Gotta Be The Shoes: Ann Coulter on the cover of TIME, April 25, 2005

Yankee Gary Sheffield inappropriately gropes at a fan at Fenway Park last night; Jimmy Fallon inappropriately gropes at Drew Barrymore in Fever Pitch.

Many have argued about whether and how powerfully movies can influence our behavior. Should filmmakers bear responsibility when the scenes they present as fantasy are reenacted by overzealous fans? Generally, we prefer to encourage freedom of speech and personal responsibility, but when a filmic scene of overly intimate contact across the low wall at Fenway Park is so eerily reprised at the same spot in real life, it’s pretty clear where the idea came from.

	James Earl Jones as Lt. Lothar Zogg in 1964’s Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb Kills thousands.
	Scatman Crothers as Dick Hallorann in 1980’s The Shining Dies.
	Dorian Harewood as Eightball in 1987’s Full Metal Jacket Dies.

EARLIER: As ‘Wicker Park’ approaches, we present this definitive and comprehensive list of good, quality films starring Josh Hartnett

Here’s To You: Todd Solondz’s Palindromes, 2005; Mike Nichols’ The Graduate, 1967.

Hi, Bob: The Bob Newhart Show, season 1; I ♥ Huckabees.

Salvete in VaticanAir! Recumbete et relaxate in levamentum dum vos refovemus cum mantele madido.

Welcome to VaticanAir! Stretch out and relax in comfort as we refresh you with a moist washcloth.

Probate defigere balteum vestrum per acensum descensionemque.

Be sure to fasten your seatbelt during takeoff and landing.

Gaudeamus praebere varietatem de materias lectorium pro iucunditate vobis.

We are happy to offer a variety of reading materials for your pleasure.

Servabitur prandium parvum per fugum.

Light in-flight refreshment will be served.

Cistas vestri portabitur cum curam maioram.

Your luggage will be handled with the greatest care.

[Indulgete omnia errata mea, magistri mei…]

Reports of the “festive” atmosphere in Rome, where hundreds of thousands of pilgrims have camped out to celebrate grieve the death of the Pope, can’t help but prompt speculation about how many little miraculous conceptions — immaculate or otherwise — might arise from this event. A clever newspaper editor should keep track of some of these pilgrims and then check maternity records in 9 months or so.

Of course, it should be no surprise that young love can blossom in even the gravest circumstances:

High Rate of Failure Estimated for Silicone Breast Implants, by Gardiner Harris, The New York Times, April 7, 2005.

Better make room next to that 2001 Impact award for Story Telling.
Is anyone else looking forward to when Solondz makes the John Waters-like transition into Broadway musical kitsch maestro? Welcome to the Dollhouse is basically ready. (It even has a killer signature song.) Happiness, on the other hand, is a harder sell.
Well, people paid to see Assassins.