low culture

I’ve been a fan of George Gurley’s New York Observer work for years now. I love his calculatedly tossed-off writing style, his relentlessly Gurley-centric approach to New York, and his transparent desire to talk to as many attractive women as possible every time he puts on his Press hat.
This week, Gurley continues his special brand of journalism by asking women (and some ‘famous’ men like Macaualy Culkin and Tad Low) about their vaginas.
In the past, Gurley has used his Observer credentials to talk to sexy female bartenders, talk to women about their feet, sit down with pseudo-actress Tiffany Limos, share some time with a b-movie actress, go out with 21 year-old socialite Elisabeth Kieselstein-Cord, talk with Ultra-V rocker Maggie Kim, look longingly into the eyes of digital pornographer Natacha Merritt, say “ahhhh” to some hot lady dentists, muse on women over 50 he’d like to nail, spend the day with gorgeous nobody Elle Eklund, go clubbing with Taylor Stein, explore Brazilian bikini waxing, approach random women and tell them how beautiful they are, and ask women why they love Manolo Blahniks.
But of all the girls he’s loved before, none compare to his true dream girl, Republican pipe cleaner, Ann Coulter.

Every phone box and bus stop in midtown is smeared with the cartoon face of Robert Evans, so I feel it’s my duty to inform you that Kid Notorious is on tonight at 10:30 PM EST on Comedy Central. I don’t know whether the show’s good or not, but the presence of a sassy Black maid and an anime-like cat called “Puss-puss” on the Kid Web site doesn’t bode well.
Anyway, here’s some advice for all you aspiring starlets from Uncle Bob’s book:
Speaking to the ladies: If you’re ever approached with the line ‘You ought to be in pictures, I’m a producer,’ tell the guy to fuck off. He’s a fraud, and the picture he wants to put you in don’t play in theaters. ‘You ought to be in pictures’ just ain’t the M.O. of a legit producer. Quote me if you want.
Consider it done, Bob.

Not to steal thunder from Slate‘s Rob Walker, he of of the infinitely enjoyable Ad Report Card, but I just wanted to say, apropos of Kevin Smith’s new commercials for Panasonic DVD recorders: better he makes commercials than movies. The slogan, however, should have been, “The Panasonic DVD recorder allows you to move the camera more than twice during a scene, which is more than you can say for any of my movies!”
Be sure to read all the responses to the ads in the link for some important fan insights into Smith’s hair.

Let’s say you’ve got a movie coming out with a lead actor who might be a bit of marketing gamble.
Maybe you’ve made a conventional narrative-flouting musical mystery, starring an actor widely considered to be among the most talented actors of his generation, but he’s also a convicted felon and something of a recidivist? And what if your star is usually associated with rom-com fluff and bad plastic surgery, not gritty, erotic thrillers?
The answer is simple: you hide them!
The Singing Detective and In the Cut open this week. They each star… somebody.

Coming soon to a development hell near you: Hooligans (or whatever they’ll call it when it’s changed two or three times), the touching story of “A wrongfully expelled Harvard undergrad [who] moves to London and makes friends with a man who introduces him to the violent underworld of football hooliganism.”
Finally, something we can all relate to. Who wants to take bets that the school becomes something generic like “Worthington College,” London becomes Brooklyn, the sport becomes boxing, the hooligans become wizened older Black men, and the undergrad becomes Amanda Peet. Oh, and that the script becomes a paper towel when some D-girl spills her chai latte in her cubicle.
Good luck with the movie, fellas.
Earlier thoughts on hooligans from low culture.