The publicist for Hollywood Interrupted: Insanity Chic in Babylon—the Case Against Celebrity deserves a raise for landing his or her clients, authors (and “veteran journalists” pace The Post) Mark Ebner and Andrew Breitbart in Page Six and Rush & Molloy today.
But perhaps pitching this book as a no-holds-barred slaughter of Hollywood sacred cows is a tad hyperbolic. Judging from the names bold-faced by the Page Six crew, the targets read more like slow-moving fish in a very small barrel: Robert Evans? Dude was a punchline before he was even a joke. Courtney Love? Any moron can squeeze a laugh out of her. Michael Ovitz? The guys who sell star maps on the side of the road have more juice in Hollywood than him nowadays. Heidi Fleiss? C’mon, fellas, try a little harder. It almost makes you respect the courage and conviction of Joe Eszterhas.
What I’m really looking forward to is the brave, bold chapter that eviscerates Michael Cimino: boy, is he too big for his britches, or what? And Joan Crawford: I hear she’s like, a total bitch-on-wheels.
Kenneth Anger, watch your back!
Category: Shallow
The Tanner Wars

I had only the vaguest recollection of Tanner ’88 before getting reacquainted with it this week on The Sundance Channel. (The series reruns Tuesdays at 9PM EST through April 13.) I’ve always been a great admirer of Robert Altman‘s films (I loved Popeye as a kid) and while I’ve never really gotten into Doonesbury (despite entreaties from several friends who’ve loved the strip for a decade), I had high hopes for the show. Even at its worst, I like the blurring of reality and fiction in film and TV (as readers of low culture‘s more boring content know, I even sorta liked K Street) and Tanner ’88 is often cited as a forerunner of the genre.
I’ve read a bunch of reviews of Tanner ’88 from Emily Nussbaum in The New York Times to Joy Press in The Village Voice, and “Dana Stevens” in Slate, but none of them pointed out the most interesting thing I saw in the first episode: the name Sidney Blumenthal in the credits as “political consultant.”
Sid is the journalist-turned-Clinton Warrior-turned-pundit loved and hated in equal degree among Washington journalists and power brokers. Actually, who am I kidding? Sid is mostly hated.
He’s clashed with Matt Drudge (admittedly not a hard thing to do: I’m sure even Matt’s dry cleaner hates him, probably for all the egg yolk stains), he’s fallen out big time with old pal Christopher Hitchens over whether or not he floated out the “Monica Lewinsky as stalker” story over lunch, and has in many ways lived up to the nasty nickname given to him by the Right: “Sid Vicious.”
What Sid is, more than anything, is a Democratic berserker, especially in his current writing for Salon and The Guardian. (Should Sid succeed in helming a U.S. edition of The Guardian, we can expect some very muscular prose in defense of the Dems: Expect asses kicked and names taken weekly.)
That’s why it’s not entirely surprising to see Sid pop up as part of Jack Tanner’s dream team in ’88. Tanner (played by Michael Murphy) is the ultimate baby boomer wish-fulfillment candidate: handsome, modest, able to speak with equal passion about public service and his favorite Beatle (John, of course). He was a Democrat who would feel perfectly at home discussing policy in The New Republic and the impact of Woodstock in Rolling Stone. In other words: He’s Bill Clinton.
I can’t imagine how excited Sid must’ve been when Clinton emerged just a few years after Jack Tanner’s “Presidential run” ended, but he must have felt that exhilarating, confusing mix of emotions we sometimes—too rarely!—feel when our dreams come true. All of Jack Tanner’s speechifying, very human foibles, and striving for integrity were suddenly, thrillingly manifest in that smart, sincere, ever so slightly louche sax-playing Southern good ol’ boy from a town called “Hope” (well, Hot Springs, actually).
It reminds me of the famous conversation between anchorman Tom Gurnick (William Hurt) and writer Aaron Altman (Albert Brooks) in Broadcast News:
Tom Grunnick: What do you do when your real life exceeds your dreams?
Aaron Altman: Keep it to yourself!
Meatball, R.I.P.

Meatball: One of a kind.
I’ve never been a big Adam Sandler fan, but I loved his dog, Meatball.
The photos and videos of Adam and Meat on Adamsandler.com used to be one of my favorite internet time wasters. They’re a genuinely touching glimpse inside the human/companion animal relationship. The videos show Meatball as Adam’s constant companion: a gently rapacious, deadpan presence on Sandler’s film sets (he appeared on screen in Anger Management and Little Nicky), in his house, and even, in one clip, on an airplane. Meat loved food. Meat loved basketball. Meat loved kittens. Meat loved sleeping. Meat loved Adam most of all.
How can you not love Meatball’s regal, ugly mug and his snorting, mucous-y breathing and lumbering gait? Meatball is such a beautiful, goofy, honorable mutt.
Meatball died the other day, and I’m sure Adam and his wife and friends are grieving deeply. The human-dog thing is some profound shit (just ask Harvard professor and dog lover Marge Garber) and, as a dog owner myself, I can’t yet begin to imagine what it would be like to bury one. Even when I can’t stand my dog—which is often—I still know that her need for me is total, and my reliance on her is deeper than I can articulate.
If you have some free time on your hands a good enough internet connection, I recommend you look at some of the great Meatball videos on the site. Some are completely ridiculous. Others are more serious. One was even directed by Paul Thomas Anderson and co-stars Luis Guzman. (Guzman staring-down Meatball with his goofily intense eyes and Meatball returning the stare is a small comic gem.) Meatball was born to be a star, not least of all because he attempts to literally chew the scenery in almost every clip.
Watch a few and I’m sure you’ll become a Meat lover, too.
Gibson to Delete a Scene in ‘Passion’ by Sharon Waxman
The New York Times, Feb. 4, 2004
LOS ANGELES, Feb. 3 — Mel Gibson, responding to focus groups as much as to protests by Jewish critics, has decided to delete a controversial scene about Jews from his film, “The Passion of the Christ,” a close associate said today.
A scene in the film, in which the Jewish high priest Caiaphas calls down a kind of curse on the Jewish people by declaring of the Crucifixion, “His blood be on us and on our children,” will not be in the movie’s final version, said the Gibson associate, who spoke on condition of anonymity.
[Via LAObserved]


Drew Friedman‘s Observer illustration… Vanity Fair, 1998.
Please stop depicting him as such. Thank you.
One Dimension, at most
“[Dimension] broke the glass ceiling. Instead of looking up at it and wondering, What goes on up there? they found out. [The Weinstein brothers] love money. It was, Oh my god, isn’t this wonderful. And it came in so fast it was mind-altering.”— Jack Foley, former VP of Distribution, Miramax as quoted by Peter Biskind in Down and Dirty Pictures, page 173)
They apparently also found the rock-bottom, and went right through it:
Title: Girls Gone Wild
Log line: A thirtysomething woman endures a horrible breakup with her boyfriend and decides to go a little wild on a vacation with two best friends.
Writer: Anya Kochoff
Agent: Endeavor
Buyer: Dimension Films
Price: n/a
Genre: Comedy
Logged: 2/2/04
More: Pitch. Anya Kochoff and Josie Rosen will produce.
(From Done Deal, Feb. 3, 2004)
Anyone care to guess the cast? Debra Messing, perhaps? Maybe Lea Remini? Or maybe Kari Wuhrer.
“What Me, Junkie?”

Mad woman Courtney Love…. and MAD‘s Alfred E. Neuman.
Related: Check out how much MAD has changed (under editor John Ficarra) since you were ten. The ‘usual gang of idiots’ are carrying switchblades:
“A Variety Ad We’d Like to See…”
“If Norman Rockwell Depicted the 21st Century”
COPPA be damned: this isn’t your kid’s MAD.
I think they sell hoagies
From Roger Friedman’s FOX 411 column, Feb. 3, 2004:
Of all the Super Bowl ads on Sunday, my favorite was the one for Monster.com. Kudos to the creators of it who used a little known piece of music from the early ’80s called “I Dig You” by a group called Cult Hero. Until I heard it on Sunday I thought I was the only person in the world who knew this record ever existed. I don’t know what Monster.com is, but it must be smart…
Sidebar: Can any superfans confirm this Cult Hero/The Cure thing?
Justin and Janet and Mick and Tina

Sir Mick: “Let me help you with that, Tina, darling.”
This is for all you kids who are excited about the fact that Justin Timberlake “accidentally” tore off Janet Jackson’s costume during the half-time show at the Superbowl. I want to tell you it’s already been done way the fuck back in 1985 by Mick Jagger and Tina Turner at Live Aid. Oh, and they pretended it was an accident, too.
But they did for all those starving kids in Africa, not for Viacom.
I gotta admit, I’m a total sucker for feature articles about nobodies who are on the cusp of becoming somebodies or just don’t quite make it and remain, well, nobodies.
I could live a long and happy life If I never read another Vanity Fair cover story on Gwyneth Paltrow again, but it would be a depressing life if I could never read another article like Dave Gardetta’s Desperately Seeking Spicoli in the new Los Angeles Magazine.
The story of aspiring actor Zakk Moore‘s journey from John Deere country (Quad Cities, Illinois) to minor “surfer dude” character actor in the town known for its love of John Deere trucker hats (Hollywood), Zakk’s saga is the same one we’ve heard a million times before.
Will he wind up on VH1‘s Driven like Iowa’s own Ashton Kutcher, or will he be the next Courtney Gains doing regional theater and straight-to-video? Only time will tell.