Categories
Shallow Versus

If Buchanan Wasn’t Against the War Before, He Sure Is Now

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Separated at Bulge: Saddam Hussein on the cover of The Sun (via Drudge); Pat Buchanan on the cover of SPY, May 1992.

Categories
Grave

A Majority amongst the Minority

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Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist, R-Tenn., center, speaks as black religious leaders look on at a rally in support of Janice Rogers Brown, President Bush’s nominee to the U.S. Court of Appeals for the D.C. Circuit, at Russell Park on Capitol Hill Thursday, May 19, 2005 in Washington, D.C.(AP Photo/Charles Dharapak)
Wait, wait, that headline above must be wrongright? How about, “The Minority amongst the Majority”? Or, wait, “A Minority amongst the Minority, alongside the Majority”? Hmm.
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Minority leader Sen. Harry Reid, D-NV, center, answers questions at a news conference with members of the Congressional Black Caucus in the Senate Radio-TV Gallery on Capitol Hill, in Washington on Thursday, May 19, 2005.(AP Photo/Kevin Wolf)
Wait, wait, what’s this? God, this is all so confusing. As a reasonal, racially non-biased American — a white person — (though, you know, of course, race doesn’t matter to me…), I need to know, once and for all: Who do these mysterious Black People I keep hearing about support?

Categories
Shallow

The delicate art of the “If…Then” statement “exclusive”

dailynews_olympics.jpgToday’s New York Daily News cover story touts the boldest of exclusives: “New York’s top lawmakers have been warned: Mess around with the West Side Stadium and the Olympics are lost.” Meaning, of course, that unless the proposed real-estate grabbing, massively bond-and-taxpayer-funded West Side stadium is erected near Penn Station, there can be no 2012 New York Olympics. (How very sad! New Yorkers have surely been pining for a long-term re-enactment of the hassle that was last fall’s 2004 Republican National Convention, right?)
Or, as the Daily News declares in their more appropriately condensed tabloid headline parlance, “NO STADIUM, NO GAMES.”
Logic and deductive reasoning? It’s, for the time being at least, another Daily News exclusive!
Of course, the rival Post won’t take this challenge sitting down. Look for their very own upcoming series of cover-story exclusives, including, but not limited to:
NO CEASEFIRE, NO PEACE
NO NEWSWEEK, NO WAR
NO TRUMP, NO BOMBAST

And, of course,
NO POST, NO PUNS
Sigh. It’s clearly time to move to Paris, huh?

Categories
Grave

Filibuster be damned…There ain’t no stopping us now!

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President Bush speaks at the Republican National Committee Gala in Washington Tuesday, May 17, 2005. (AP Photo/Gerald Herbert)

Categories
Shallow

The Iraq Party: Hollow Point Bullets Galore!

iraq_end.jpgThe celebration of Iraqi democracy’s second launch continues. In fact, it’s moved into the wacky publicity stunt phase!
Last night, as part of the ongoing launch party for the most expensive, anticipated democratic regime since Tina Brown’s revamp of the U.S.S.R., an insurgent lackey escalated the war of words by hurling several bullets at Dr. Ali Hameed, an official from Iraq’s Oil Ministry. Dr. Hameed responded by being pronounced dead at 8 AM!
Did somebody say CATFIGHT!!!! Oh, yeah, it’s on!
Iraqi Oil Ministry official gunned down [CNN]

Categories
Grave

You see, this is how we vote in L.A.

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Via the LA Times: Jose F. Aguilar marks his ballot in a booth on the showroom floor at Robertson Honda in North Hollywood. (Al Seib / LAT)
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Also via the LA Times: Voters cast their ballots at Harmon and Son Tire Center in Los Angeles.
(Mark Boster / LAT)

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Again, via the LA Times: Richard Anderson, 80, votes amid paintings on display at the Perk U Up cafe, espresso bar and art gallery in North Hollywood. (Al Seib / LAT)
RELATED: “L.A. MAYORAL ELECTION Villaraigosa Landslide: Voter Discontent Helps Propel Challenger to a Historic Victory”, Los Angeles Times, May 18, 2005

Categories
Shallow

We’ll Safely Assume That the Heroin OD Is On Its Way

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Lindsay Lohan at some KIIS-FM event and Janis Joplin in mid-slur

Categories
Grave

Meanwhile All Across the Country, Americans Also Salute DeLay

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(Above via Yahoo/Reuters; Below via Litlounge)

Categories
Shallow

The Beautiful and the Damned

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Mourning Wood: Nine out ten respondents surveyed said they’d sleep with three of the above people. Can you guess which ones? (via Yahoo/Reuters)
Related:The harrah… The harrah…

Categories
Grave

Well, clearly this was all Newsweek‘s fault

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Afghanistan Sees Worst Anti-U.S. Protests Since Fall of Taliban, the New York Times, May 11, 2005:

Four Afghan protesters were killed and more than 60 were injured today in the eastern city of Jalalabad in the worst anti-American demonstrations Afghanistan has seen in the three years since the fall of the Taliban.
[…]
It was the second day of demonstrations by students in Jalalabad who were angered at a report in Newsweek magazine that United States interrogators at the Guantánamo Bay detention center had desecrated the Holy Koran by placing it on toilets, and even in one case, flushing a Koran down the toilet.

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