Doobie Brother: Dude, don’t bogart the platform.
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Fan, Meet Shit
TIME, Nov. 1, 2004… The Day After, 1983
Related: Anyone else out there get sent home with a note from your elementary school principal warning your parents not to let kids watch The Day After when it aired on TV?
Life lessons on how to navigate through the hellhole that is Iraq, gleaned from “New Violence Flares in Iraq, After Executions Leave 49 Dead”, the New York Times, October 25, 2004:
“In the future, we will try to be more careful when the soldiers leave their camps,” he added. “We will provide them with protected cars that can escort them home.”
Phew! We can all rest assured, then, that slaughters of this magnitude will never happen again. I mean, the guy said, in the future, they’ll try to be more careful about it.
Did you use this picture of the Olsen twins’ Saturday Night Live parody of The Swan:
a) To be funny?
b) To piss off your corporate sister network?
c) Totally and completely by mistake?
d) All of the above.
e) None of the above.
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Coming Soon To A Town Near You!
Huge Cache of Explosives Vanished From Site in Iraq
by James Glanz, William J. Broad, and David E. Sanger, The New York Times, Oct. 25, 2004.
Worst case scenario: A deadly manuscript bomb set off in an American city.
Categories
Is Ashlee Wired?
SNL Moderator Jude Law introduces the second address from Ashlee [sic] Simpson.
Fun pose has been struck, appealing to “security moms” and suggesting Ashlee’s [sic] opening statement is about to begin.
Pre-recorded vocal track neglects to kick in, sending Ashlee [sic] into a series of uncomfortable smirks and horrifying dance moves.
As Ashlee [sic] leaves the stage a bulge is clearly visible from the rear. Could this be the result of a puckering in her Lucky Brand jeans, a wireless mic, or an especially large mole?
Marshall stacks and audio cables are evident. Ashlee’s [sic] shadowy backers attempt to maintain the facade that they are playing live.
Previous thoughts on Ashlee Simpson.
Categories
Return of the Wolfman
Canidae Rovus: The North American Rove Wolf
The Wolfman’s drawing: “How did the wolves get up in the tree?”
I dreamed that it is night and I am lying in my bed (the foot of my bed was under the window, and outside the window there was a row of old walnut trees. I know that it was winter in my dream, and night-time). Suddenly, the window opens of its own accord and terrified, I see that there are number of white wolves sitting in the big walnut tree outside the window…
So recounted Sergei Pankejeff, AKA “The Wolfman,” to his doctor, the original Dr. Funkenstein himself, Sigmund Freud.
I thought about the Wolfman recently, since Freud might just be the man to decode Wolves, the new scare ad from the Bush/Cheney camp, released just in time for Halloween (Oooh, Veddy Scary!). There’s a raw, hypnopompic quality to the spot: it has the sweaty, blurry feel of a nightmare. (A not dissimilar feeling to this entire gut-wrenching campaign season.)
Categories
Dubya the Dread
What happened to you, Christopher? You used to be cool.
Why I’m (Slightly) for Bush, by Christopher Hitchens, The Nation, Oct. 21, 2004.
Related: Well, Comrade Hitchens has endorsed worse.
[via Jimmy “Dyno-mite! Wolcott]
