Is Ashlee Wired?

SNL Moderator Jude Law introduces the second address from Ashlee [sic] Simpson.
Fun pose has been struck, appealing to “security moms” and suggesting Ashlee’s [sic] opening statement is about to begin.
Pre-recorded vocal track neglects to kick in, sending Ashlee [sic] into a series of uncomfortable smirks and horrifying dance moves.
As Ashlee [sic] leaves the stage a bulge is clearly visible from the rear. Could this be the result of a puckering in her Lucky Brand jeans, a wireless mic, or an especially large mole?
Marshall stacks and audio cables are evident. Ashlee’s [sic] shadowy backers attempt to maintain the facade that they are playing live.
Previous thoughts on Ashlee Simpson.

3 replies on “Is Ashlee Wired?”

Hey, what happened to the comment I posted this afternoon? You on Ms. Simpson’s payroll?
Too bad I didn’t think to screen-cap it.

In lowculture’s defense!
Though my first comment did mysteriously disappear, it was through no fault of Guy or lowculture, and my second comment, which still appears above, was meant humorously.
To my knowledge, Guy and lowculture have no affiliation with Ms. Ashlee Simpson, nor are they involved in any cover-up conspiracy.
Thank you.

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