Army of Headless Clones: Protestors condemn John Bolton, via Yahoo/AFP.
Related: “Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich.”
Vanilla Guy: “I WANNA WAKE UP!“
Film star Tom Cruise has asked girlfriend Katie Holmes to marry him, he announced on Friday, ending weeks of speculation over whether Hollywood’s hottest couple would wed.
Appearing with Holmes at a Paris news conference, the 42-year-old explained how he had chosen the Eiffel Tower in the city of romance to make his move.
“Yes I proposed to Kate last night … because it is very beautiful and romantic here,” Cruise said, clarifying later that the engagement had actually begun in the early hours of Friday. – Cruise proposes to actress Holmes at Eiffel Tower, by Joanna Partridge, Reuters, June 17, 2005.
“That’s more than a dress. That’s an Audrey Hepburn movie. We barely know each other. I don’t think we’ve had a single conversation about anything except your father. We got nothing to talk about. Sometimes you just gotta say ‘What the fuck.’ In this life, it’s not what you hope for, it’s not what you deserve—it’s what you take I feel the need… the need for speed.
“I’ve drained you to the point of death. If I leave you here, you die. Or you can be young always, my friend, as we are now, but you must tell me: will you come or no?
“Where exactly are we going… exactly?…Where the rainbow ends? Good. Because for a minute there, I thought we were talking about A FUCKING MASK!… I’m afraid you’ll break my heart. I want the truth!
“Help me help you. I will not rest until I have you holding a Coke, wearing your own shoe, playing a Sega game featuring you, while singing your own song in a new commercial, starring you, broadcast during the Superbowl, in a game that you are winning, and I will not sleep until that happens… I’m gonna let ya’ in on a little secret: K-Mart sucks.
“Don’t be afraid. I’m going to give you the choice I never had… No one could resist me, not even you… Just forget about that mortal coil. You’ll become accustomed to it, all too quickly.
“Let me ask you something: are you out of your fucking mind? I will not apologize for who I am. I love you. You… complete me… Cause you’re good. We’re in this together. Fates intertwined.
“You’re my motherfucker! I had your ass over the grinder and it’s okay enough to thank me, shithead. Jump in my nightmare, the water’s warm!”
RADAR
ELLE
POP
T
AOXOMOXOA
*Is it too late to jump on the Radar blogwagon? Oh, it is? Well, fuck off! I’ve been busy, okay?
Awww, c’mon, baby. Don’t cry. Don’t be like that. Matty’s sorry. You know I love you, right? Oh, I don’t? Then why do I do so much for you? Writing all these entries—for you. Finding photos that look like other photos—for you. Coming up with hack jokes—say it with me, for you.
What did you say? Don’t you dare talk back to me! One more word out of your mouth and you’ll be sleeping over your sister’s blog tonight.
“Science”, perhaps better known in academic circles as “the Grand Arch-Nemesis of the Bush Administration,” has once again reared its ugly, evolved, ozone-reducing head to embarrass the White House and its henchmen. Specifically, the startling revelation from Florida that autopsy results from that ol’ Terri Schiavo incident did, in fact, confirm the suspicion held by the vast majority of Americans that the martyr-in-question was, effectively, brain dead. No hope of revival. Like, dead. Doorknob. Et cetera.
From “Frist: Schiavo Autopsy Results End Case,” via the Associated Press:
“The diagnosis they made is exactly right. It’s the pathology, I’ll respect that. I think it’s time to move on,” Frist said on CBS’ “The Early Show.”
EARLIER: “Frist views video, disputes Schiavo diagnosis: Senator’s comments raise eyebrows in medical, political circles“, the Washington Post, March 19, 2005
OTHER SHIT WE’VE ALREADY FORGOTTEN ABOUT BECAUSE YOU THOUGHT IT WAS BEST TO MOVE ON IN THE CULTURE WARS, THE WAR ON TERRORISM, ETC.:
The initially-proposed $15 million in aid for tsunami relief efforts
Joseph Wilson and Valerie Plame
16 words (including “Niger” and “uranium”)
Richard Clarke and Condoleeza Rice’s 9/11 memorandum
The proposed modification of the Constitution to placate the religious right (“Gay Marriage” edition)
The proposed modification of the Constitution to placate the religious right (“Activist Judges” edition)
Last month’s Downing Street memo
Paul O’Neill’s account that the Iraq invasion was planned prior to 9/11
L. Paul Bremer’s warning that the U.S. had troop shortages in Iraq
The war in Iraq
Et cetera. Ad infinitum.
And how does one say “immunity” in Latin?
Categories
Where’s Mr. Segue Man When You Need Him?
SHOCK VERDICT CLEARS JACKO OF KIDDIE SEX – AND CROWNS DA TEAM THE KINGS OF FLOP, by David K. Li and Kate Sheehy, The New York Post, June 14, 2005.
BOYS ARE BACK, by Maxine Shen, ibid.
Lucky (Boy) Fucker: Relieved, Jackson’s going home to bury himself in his Blanket.
Categories
Collapse That Metaphor
“Denise Jack and other car owners thought they had it bad when a 75-foot retaining wall in Washington Heights in northern Manhattan collapsed on May 12, burying their parked vehicles beneath untold tons of debris. But their ordeal was actually just beginning.
“Their cars remain buried there today, and none are expected to be unearthed until the rest of the wall is stabilized and the rubble removed – up to a year from now.
“Until then, they are caught in the world of insurance limbo.
“[…]
“‘These people have a bit of an uphill battle,’ said Anthony Michael Sabino, a law professor at St. John’s University.”
– A Wall Fell on Their Cars. Then Bad Luck Set In., by Anahad O’Connor and Rachel Metz, The New York Times, June 11, 2005.
Categories
Well, At Least One Base Won’t Be Closing
Gitmo’ Money, Gitmo’ Problems: Take down the sign, boys, we’re back in business!
“Defense Secretary Donald H. Rumsfeld said Wednesday that the Bush administration was not considering shutting down the detention center at Guantánamo Bay, Cuba, and he defended the treatment of its prisoners by their American military guards and interrogators as humane.”
– Rumsfeld Says Guantánamo Isn’t Being Considered for Closing, by Thom Shanker, The New York Times, June 9, 2005
Related: Pentagon to Release Data on Base Closings, AP/Guardian, May 28, 2005
Here’s President Bush’s schedule for today, by way of the Washington Post‘s White House Briefing for June 8, 2005:
Today’s Calendar:
Bush met this morning with Turkish Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdogan.
Also today, he speaks about Social Security before a meeting of builders and contractors at the Capital Hilton, sits down for an interview with Neil Cavuto of Fox News to be shown this afternoon, and meets with Republican congressional leaders.
Tonight he is scheduled to watch “Cinderella Man” at the White House.