Coming Soon: America, meet your 52nd State!
Getting to know all about you.
Related: Iran readies uranium for nuke enrichment – diplomats
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Category: Grave
Cingularly Bad Taste: Twin Towers-themed billboard, 4th Avenue and 9th Street Subway Station in Brooklyn
This is outrageous! Outrageously outrageous! In fact, we are outraged!
In a city still reeling from the 9/11 attacks—an event so painful, there isn’t a bowl of cereal large enough to drown our sadness—Cingular has decided to put up this tasteless, insensitive billboard on an overpass on 4th Avenue in Brooklyn that shows the burning Twin Towers. This is wrong on so many levels, especially since so many of us New Yorkers were without cellular service on that dark day and could not speak to our friends and family members, regardless of our “whenever minutes” or roll-over plans!
What’s worse is that this isn’t the first time advertisers have exploited 9/11 to sell a sub-par product. Shouldn’t they know better by now?
We urge you to boycott Cingular! Mostly because Catherine Zeta-Jones is incrementally less hot than she used to be. (So, boycott Ocean’s 12, too!) This outrage cannot be ignored!
Update: An alert reader and concerned citizen tells us that Ms. Zeta-Jones flaks for T-Mobile, not Cingular. You can run, but you can’t hide, Catherine! So, boycott Cingular’s non-threatening, pansexual spokescreature, Pit-Pat!
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Every Picture Tells a Story
Crooked Rain, Crooked Rain: Clintons and Co. in Little Rock.
Bill: “First Ken Starr, now this shit… Man, I’d so do Mary… Fucking Arafat. I coulda been a god in the Middle East. Do they have gods in the Middle East?”
Hillary: “Gee, Ted and Mary look nice today… My library is gonna be twice as nice as this crap… A photo op with Dubya: whose bright idea was this?…”
Chelsea: “Three hours at the salon and now this… God, Ted got bald… Would it be really tacky if I Blackberry’d right now…”
George: “Oh, no. Who’s that with mom from Elf? Is it that turkey followin’ me?… I sure hope there’s ice cream after lunch. Condi promised me ice cream… Mandate. Man-date. Yeah, I guess I get it now. It is sorta funny.”
As captioned by the AP: “U.S. Marines of the 1st Division pass by dead bodies in the western part of Fallujah, Iraq, Sunday, Nov. 14, 2004.”
From Several Insurgent Bases Found in Falluja, U.S. General Says, the New York Times, November 18, 2004:
The American death toll from the Falluja operation, which began Nov. 7, now stands at 51, with 425 wounded, General Sattler said, although an unspecified number of the wounded have returned to duty. Eight Iraqi soldiers have died and 43 were wounded, he added.
From 25 to 30 Iraqi civilians were treated for wounds, but there have been no reported Iraqi civilian deaths yet, the general said.
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They’ve got the world on a string
European Central Bank chief Jean-Claude Trichet tries to get his yo-yo “Around the Third World“.
In this week’s hottest economic news (though – full disclosure – I’m not Lou Dobbs, and am in no way to be confused with someone of that level of expertise, and nor would I ever recklessly fund a dotcom venture like Space.com), the G20, or so-called “Group of 20”, is slated to meet in Berlin on Friday. Here, the world’s 20 financial superpowers will gather around flaming piles of cash as they try to cook up ways of explaining to United States representatives that the Bush Administration’s unchecked deficit spending is, hmmm, how to put this excessively simply, on the verge of fucking the world up. In a totally bad, unproductive way, I mean, unlike that successful prosecution of the War on Terror™, which, as we all know, made the world more secure. And then Treasury Secretary John Snow will presumably respond, “Fuck if we care.”
RELATED: Bruce Almighty, and One Market Under God: Extreme Capitalism, Market Populism, and the End of Economic Democracy, by Thomas Frank
Treasury Secretary John Snow in England, before throwing that little girl with the flowers into the river.
Related: Richard Kiel
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The Boy Who Cried Wolf
Colin Powell, who famously took “conclusive evidence” to the U.N. stating that Iraq had weapons of mass destruction, is now claiming that Iran is on the same path.
We’re looking forward to a U.N. performance by Condaleeza Rice to convince the world that this time we mean it, for real.
Gentle Touch: “If you was in Texas, I’d fry you.”
Say hello to the lads of November, 2004.