Categories
Grave

Google News ♥s Troop Morale

So, you’re hankering for more news articles about President Bush, and you enter some Google News search terms that you suppose will bring up likely hits. You know, all the current and past administration/media buzzwords such as “National Guard” and “terrorism” and “Al-Qaeda” and “Washington”…
Only, you get the following instead. Damned imperfect technology.

U.S. soldier arrested in Washington state for allegedly aiding al-Qaida
SEATTLE (AP) – A U.S. National Guardsman stationed at Fort Lewis, Wash. was arrested Thursday and charged by the army with trying to provide information to the al-Qaida terrorist network, a federal law-enforcement official said.
The official, speaking on condition of anonymity, said Spc. Ryan Anderson was charged with “aiding the enemy by wrongfully attempting to communicate and give intelligence to the al-Qaida terrorist network.”
It was not immediately known what information Anderson allegedly provided.

Next time, I guess “Iraq” or “economy” or “Wasn’t James Yee acquitted after his career was ruined?” will narrow the field a bit more.

Categories
Satirical Shallow

The low culture interview: Stanley Bostitch Model B440 stapler

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Stanley Bostitch Model B440 Stapler, stapler

Categories
Shallow Soundproof

Everybody’s Got Something To Hide Except EMI And My Monkey

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From MTV.com:

“A representative for EMI Records served the cease-and-desist orders to Danger Mouse and stores such as Fat Beats and hiphopsite.com. EMI Records controls the sound recordings for the Beatles on behalf of Capitol Records Inc. The publishing side of the Beatles’ catalog is owned by Sony Music/ ATV Publishing, a venture between Sony Music and Michael Jackson.

(Earlier thoughts on The Grey Album…)

Categories
Shallow

Oh, so it’ll be unfunny, unread, and contain at least one reference to The Beastie Boys

heeb4.jpg From today’s Page Six:
Heeb, the hip [sic.] quarterly dubbed ‘The New Jew Review,’ had used [publicist Susan] Blond to promote its launch in 2002. The magazine’s new cover announces ‘Back Off Braveheart’ to tout a photo feature inside called ‘Crimes of Passion.’ Editor-in-chief Josh Neuman wasn’t very forthcoming in describing the offensive photos: ‘It’s our interpretation of Jesus’ final hours. It’s what you’d expect from Heeb magazine.”

Categories
Shallow

Pseudo Imaginary Trend of the week: Fictional Characters Named after Fiction Writers

With tomorrow’s release of Fifty First Dates, the Pseudo Imaginary Trend of fictional characters named after fiction writers finally comes into its own.
Since we here at low culture consider ourselves pseudo imaginary experts on the Pseudo Imaginary Trends (up your nose with a rubber hose, Entertainment Weekly—or Entertainment Weakly as we like to call it when we’re feeling nasty!), we took it upon ourselves to point out the obligatory three recent(-ish) instances that form any Pseudo Imaginary Trend. Even one this pseudo and imaginary.
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Fifty First DatesHenry Roth and Henry Roth
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Torque‘s Henry James and Henry James
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Sex and the City‘s Richard Wright and Richard Wright
Start with a ponderous “academic”-sounding quote from Harold Bloom and close with a tepid kicker (“What’s next, Ashton Kutcher as ‘John Updike’?”) and send me my check, Rick.
It’s tenuously hilarious! Except that it’s not.

Categories
Shallow

Bloggers: It’s not funny

Disney Deaths.
Please refrain.

Categories
Grave

So…we’re in agreement, then

bushnationalguard.jpgEditorial, San Diego Union-Tribune, February 11, 2004:

Meanwhile, the White House released pay records this week which also document the dates on which Bush was paid for National Guard duty. They provide further evidence that Bush did not shirk his obligations to the Guard between May 1972 and May 1973.
Of course, there are some die-hard Bush detractors who are unwilling to accept that the president did not go AWOL, that he was not a deserter. But the fair-minded can lay the controversy to rest once and for all.

Editorial, The Daily Iowan, February 11, 2004:

Amid accusations of being AWOL in the National Guard and lying to the American public about the weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Bush remained as confusing and contradictory as always during the “Meet the Press” segment Sunday on NBC.
On Tuesday, White House officials released payroll records demonstrating that Bush in fact did get paid for his service in the Guard. However, spokesman Scott McClellan admitted that the records do not specifically show that the president reported for duty. Bush’s response to reports of his first-lieutenant evaluation showing that the future leader had not been seen during 1972 is a simple, “They’re just wrong.”

Categories
Satirical Shallow

The ‘S’ in Harvard stands for ‘Sex’

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Available now at Out of Town News
From The Harvard Crimson, Feb. 11, 2004:

After flipping through the pages of Squirm, a Vassar College erotica magazine, the Committee on College Life (CCL) voted to approve a student-run magazine that will feature nude pictures of Harvard undergraduates and articles about sexual issues at its meeting yesterday.

[via Romenesko]

Categories
Shallow

The Post‘s Widening Editorial Reach

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This month’s NYP: Tempo‘s Enrique Iglesias spread. Very spread.
Um, when something isn’t quite subliminal, what do you call it? Liminal? Really, really obvious? Gross?
Related: Fromunda.

Categories
Grave

It’s Over, It’s Over, It’s Over

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It’s over, it’s over, it’s over, I won’t look back,
Won’t look back, my bridge has been crossed.
It’s over, it’s over, it’s over, I’ll walk away,
I’ll stay away, cause my heart’s been lost.
Losing is not a happy thing when the stakes are high,
Not when you lose your lover on a simple goodbye.

Frank Sinatra, “It’s Over, It’s Over, It’s Over” (lyrics by Don Stanford & Matt Dennis, 1960)
Related: “Moonlight in Vermont”; “That’s All”; “The Impossible Dream”; “Walk Away”; “Lonely Town”; “No One Cares”; “Here’s to the Losers”; “Say It Isn’t So”; “In the Wee Small Hours of the Morning”; “The Hurt Doesn’t Go Away”; “Goodbye, Lover, Goodbye”; “We’ll Meet Again”.