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Satirical Shallow

What next, an NEA grant for Mapplethorpe?

jelinek.jpgOnce, years before a hyperbole-prone Graydon Carter pronounced “the end of the age of irony“, the more astute Tom Lehrer remarked that Henry Kissinger’s 1973 Nobel Peace prize rendered political satire obsolete.

One wonders what Tom Lehrer thinks of today’s announcement that the the Nobel Prize in Literature was awarded to the perverted Austrian novelist Elfriede Jelinek. While not an act of cosmic irony on par with Kissinger’s Peace Prize, it is, if nothing else, the last nail in the coffin for kinky books. Even if you are inclined to enjoy nauseating, degenerate art-smut like this (and if you are, you should be ashamed), you have to acknowledge that the authors of these nasty things should not be rewarded for writing and promulgating them. Most of Sade’s horrid output was written in prison, and rightly so. Georges Bataille published the shockingly perverse “Story of the Eye” under a pseudonym and spent his wretched life as a creepy librarian, unwilling to face the well-deserved umbrage that even his fellow Frenchmen would have unleased upon him had he taken responsibility for his “work.”

Of course, we here at low culture regard this kind of cultural output as not merely beneath contempt, but in fact a danger to our American way of life and values, the sort of pernicious decadence that leads to the downfall of great civilizations. But even if we did care for this kind of thing, isn’t it a fundamental element of these naughty books that they and their authors are “transgressive”, that they are breaking the rules of society? And shouldn’t society respond to transgression with censure and condemnation, not fancy medals and prizes? Indeed, in a year in which the world was appalled by images of grotesquely sadistic acts, is it not poor timing — if not a bit perverse — for the Swedish Academy to award its Literature prize to a pornographic writer who celebrates perversity?

Categories
Grave Unintentionally Hilarious

Unintentionally Hilarious Photo of the Moment, Vol. 38

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Categories
Grave

An art-history undergrad’s C-plus critique of the occupation of Iraq

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(Anja Niedringhaus/Associated Press)
O, what beauty has been sown from destruction! As with Picasso’s famed “Guernica,” art aficionados once again have the opportunity to witness anew the innermost depths of visual purity that have arisen from the turmoil and despair of some mysterious “other.”
Ostensibly having undertaken a photographic portrait of today’s rocket strike upon a hotel in central Baghdad, the artist, Anja Niedringhaus, has done an exceptional job of framing the composition in such a manner that the merits of using the classical painterly technique known as chiaroscuro become, well, painfully obvious. Notice the interplay between light and dark in Niedringhaus’ image, the way in which the otherwise abstract notion of “Iraqi rage” billows outward and takes on a life of its own amidst the spiritual and political darkness of the Western world – here represented by the image’s being set at nighttime.
Furthermore, be sure not to disregard the inherent conflict between “nature” and “mankind” as it is displayed herein; take note of the image’s striking left-and-right contrast between the fluidly burning palm trees and the sharp, jarring architecture of the civilized world. Or the usage of the color yellow as the portrait’s focal point; one is literally drawn into this veritable heart of fiery Baghdad, where, hopefully, the viewer will be able to partake of the wonderfully restored social services (e.g. the reconstruction of fire stations and water pipes) that have been restored by Halliburton and Bechtel. What? Am I missing something?

Categories
Shallow

More Notes Towards the October low culture Index

rideemjewboy.jpgFrom the New York Times:


Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg, who donned a tan cowboy hat, joked that he was working on a song called “Mamas, Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Mayors.”

Number of jokes made by Mayor Bloomberg about writing country songs: at least 1.

Additional number of such jokes desired by New Yorkers: 0.

Total number of such jokes desired by New Yorkers: 0.

Categories
Grave

“Goddammit, why did you have to go and bring that up?”

cheney_debate_frustrated.jpgNEWS FLASH FOR GOD-FEARING MIDDLE AMERICANS WHO DON’T FOLLOW THE NEWS VERY CLOSELY (by way of John Edwards’ deft placement of this small nugget of information within the context of last night’s vice presidential debate): Vice President Dick Cheney has a homosexual daughter.

EDWARDS: …Now, as to this question, let me say first that I think the vice president and his wife love their daughter. I think they love her very much. And you can’t have anything but respect for the fact that they’re willing to talk about the fact that they have a gay daughter, the fact that they embrace her. It’s a wonderful thing.

Yes, Senator Edwards, and it’s also a wonderful thing that you were able to remind the Republican Party’s conservative base that Cheney, their chief standard-bearer in oppressing the oppressed, was clearly a very bad parent by right-wing Christian fundamentalist standards, in that he raised a daughter who is now a homosexual. In addition to being a homosexual, Mary Cheney is also purportedly a lesbian or dyke, or whatever labels or epithets conservatives would like to use as they harass and/or beat up gay people in cities and towns across America.
Oh, Dick, Dick, Dick…where did you go so wrong? And what else have you not been forthright about in terms of a possible penchant for supporting and encouraging sinful acts? We’ll never know, as the Vice President was able to skillfully conclude this line of uncomfortable (and far too revealing) questioning rather abruptly:

IFILL: Mr. Vice President, you have 90 seconds.
CHENEY: Well, Gwen, let me simply thank the senator for the kind words he said about my family and our daughter.
I appreciate that very much.
IFILL: That’s it?
CHENEY: That’s it.
IFILL: OK, then we’ll move on to the next question.

Categories
Grave

I’m very forgetful…when did you say the last debate took place?

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From the transcript of last night’s sole vice-presidential debate in Cleveland, Ohio:

“What the vice president has just said is just a complete distortion. The American people saw John Kerry on Thursday night. They don’t need the vice president or the president to tell them what they saw.”
“The AIDS epidemic in Africa, which is killing millions and millions of people and is a frightening thing not just for the people of Africa but also for the rest of the world, that, combined with the genocide that we’re now seeing in Sudan, are two huge moral issues for the United States of America, which John Kerry spoke about eloquently last Thursday night.”
I agree with John Kerry from Thursday night, that the danger of nuclear weapons getting in the hands of terrorists is one of the greatest threats that America faces.”
“And the American people saw for themselves on Thursday night the strength, resolve, and backbone that I, myself, have seen in John Kerry.”
John Kerry made clear on Thursday night that — I’m sorry, I broke the rules. We made clear — we made clear on Thursday night that we will do that, and we will do it aggressively.”

Wait, I get it. John Kerry won that debate quite decisively, and you’re reminding the public of that fact. Nicely done, and none-too-subtle!

Categories
Shallow

The Most Embarrassing New York Post pop culture mistake since Jam Master Jay Spotted

“Fallon, who has zero screen presence, flounders around, dribbling forth what can only be improvised dialogue in the most embarrassing SNL vehicle since Pootie Tang.”
‘TAXI’ DRIVEL, by Megan Lehmann, Oct. 6, 2004

Categories
Shallow

Notes Towards the October low culture Index

Age under which commercial composer and tea salesman Moby says every celebrity seems like a “half-wit”: 23
Year Harvard educated action figure model Natalie Portman was born: 1981

Categories
Shallow

Rodney Dangerfield, RIP

rodney-loose.jpgI had the pleasure of interviewing Rodney Dangerfield two years ago. He was a great guy, a little out of it, but still as funny and nasty as you could hope for.
I met Rodney in his Westwood apartment, where he lounged in a loosely held bathrobe – that night I saw more of Rodney Dangerfield than I expected, a softer, more fleshy, less circumcised side. I also met his wife, who was beautiful, blonde and half his age (placing her somewhere around fifty), but she was surprisingly sharp and impossibly nice.
Rodney was in show business for more than sixty years and worked every gig imaginable, from singing waiter to The Dean Martin Show. He discovered Kinison and Hicks and countless others. In many ways Back to School is to blame for my own sub-par performance in college. And how many times can you wring your collar and declare “No respect” before it gets tired? Never.
What follows are excerpts from the interview or the transcript.
On Overcoming Depression:
“When you’re smart,” Rodney says, “you’ve got no one to talk to. I’ve done everything for it, including forty-eight Austrians, OK? It’s not easy.”
“I have no idea what that means” is the best I can come up with.
“I keep myself dumb, I make plenty of friends that way. It’s easier to get a chick when you’re dumb.”
OK, but thers thers got to be more. Does he take anti-depressants?
“Nothing.”
What about the alcohol cure?
“No, I hardly touch it. I smoke pot,” he says, “I smoke a lot of pot.”
On Romance:
“Listen man,” he offers, “You can always find a chick with a nice ass. You find a chick who’ll actually listen to you, and you can bring yourself to listen to? That’s what you hold on to. If she has a nice ass too, that’s not so bad either.”
I like Rodney’s advice – it seems honest – but this comes only minutes after he’s said, “I told my wife she’s awful in bed. So she went out and got a second opinion. And then she got a third opinion, and a fourth opinion.”
And the inevitable follow-up, “My wife, she likes to talk during sex. The other night she called me from a motel.”

Categories
Grave Unintentionally Hilarious

Unintentionally Hilarious Photo of the Moment, Vol. 37

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Earlier: How to Replace Your Lesbian Daughter