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Grave Satirical

low culture Exclusive: The Outrage Continues—Continuously!!!

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(Ground) Zero Tact: Another offensive Cingular billboard, Lafayette St. and Astor Pl.
On November 19, this website published a revelation so important, so earth-shattering, our comments database promptly crashed due to the overwhelming feedback we received.
I am referring, of course, to low culture Exclusive: An Outrage Grows in Brooklyn!!!, about Cingular’s insensitive Twin Towers-themed billboard on Fourth Avenue and 9th Street in Brooklyn.
Since then, the post has richocheted around the internet, spread like wild fire, grown like kudzu, and just kept going and going like one of those battery-operated toy rabbits.
If our comments were any indication, America was just as outraged by Cingular’s billboard as we were:

“so clearly … the twin towers”
“Advertising is subliminal. They want gut reactions.”
“… those are the Twin Towers…”
“…these are obviously … supposed to be the towers. i think anyone … can figure that out.”
“When the twin towers were still standing, they were the same size, which is why they called them the twin towers…”


And, most damning of all:

“i work for cingular and thought this was hilarious.”


Hilarious, huh? Well, apparently Cingular is upping the ante by putting up not one, but several of these offensive billboards on the corner of Lafayette and Astor Place, a few blocks north of the World Trade Center! Yes, it’s true: The outrage continues. Worse yet, the representation of the Twin Towers crumbling, falling apart, appears almost exactly where the towers themselves would appear when looking downtown. Out-freakin’-rageous!
Please, we urge you once again to boycott Catherine Zeta Jones, despite her endorsement of T-Mobile. Boycott her because she married that slimy Michael Douglas! This outrage must be stopped!
Earlier: low culture Exclusive: An Outrage Grows in Brooklyn!!!

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Shallow

Isn’t That A Clear Conflict of Interest?

High Court to Hear Medical Marijuana Issue.

“Session” to begin promptly at 4:20.

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Shallow

When Stupid Copy Editors Ruin Your Publicity Stunt, vol. 1

Aerosmith’s Tyler Visits Women’s Rehab Center
Related: Aerosmith: You Gotta Move DVD, released Nov. 23, 2004.

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Shallow

World Peace, TK

Actress Julia Roberts has twins

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Shallow

The New York Times: Obsessed with Vaginas

From The Most Private of Makeovers (Nov. 28, 2004):

As millions of women inject Botox, reshape noses, augment breasts, lift buttocks and suck away unwanted fat, a growing number are now exploring a new frontier, genital plastic surgery. They are tightening vaginal muscles, plumping up or shortening labia, liposuctioning the pubic area and even restoring the hymen, sometimes despite their doctors’ skepticism about the need for such cosmetic measures.


From Trying to Avoid 2nd Caesarean, Many Find Choice Isn’t Theirs (Nov. 29, 2004):

Women around the country are finding that more and more hospitals that once allowed vaginal birth after Caesarean, or VBAC (commonly pronounced VEE-back), are now banning it and insisting on repeat Caesareans. About 300,000 women a year have repeat Caesareans. The rate of vaginal births in women who have had Caesareans has fallen by more than half, from 28.3 percent in 1996 to 10.6 percent in 2003.


From Wes Anderson’s Faithful Diving Team (Nov. 28, 2004):

It is a question that Mr. Anderson, 35, has been fretting about of late. “The only thing I worry about is that I’m going to have my same exact audience that I’ve had, which I’m lucky to have in the first place,” he said, while dissecting a plate of branzino at the same table at Bar Pitti restaurant in New York where he and Mr. Baumbach invented their cranky underwater patriarch.

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Shallow

Measure for Measure

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Tool Time: TIME, Dec. 6, 2004… Esquire, March 1997.

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Shallow

Thank Heaven For Little Girls…

… And the dirty old men who love them.
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Hucka-Hucka Burning Love: Hu-ka-poo: the tip of the tongue taking a trip of three steps…
New York Magazine helps Daniel Radosh live out his Huckapoo fantasy. I’d read the story, but the D.A.’s office would require me to register myself on some sort of list.
Related: The Four Stages of Huckapoo: Curiosity, love, fixation, protection. Pardon me while I go scrub my soul.

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Shallow

Comments Are Back, For Now at Least

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Shallow

Mike Nichols: Look Homeward, Auteur

001nichols.jpgCulture critics across the spectrum agree: Mike Nichols returns to his roots with his latest film, Closer.
But which roots? No one seems closer to agreement:

Mike Nichol’s latest movie, ‘Closer,’ adapted from a play by the British dramatist Patrick Marber, is about four people, arranged in crisscrossing couples, who spend most of two hours slicing one another to bits with witty and vengeful repartee. In this respect it is a lot like his first movie, ‘Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?,’ which in 1966 was adapted from Edward Albee’s celebrated play, which to this day remains unequalled in its portrayal of heterosexuality as a form of ritualized verbal blood sport.
(Who’s Returning to Virginia Woolf?, by A.O. Scott, The New York Times, Nov. 28, 2004.)

Or:

Thirty-three years ago, director Mike Nichols tackled love, sex, betrayal and relationships in a frank and unflinching fashion with ‘Carnal Knowledge.’ That film, which starred Jack Nicholson, Art Garfunkel, Candice Bergen and Ann-Margret, became a classic for its refusal to sugar-coat emotional tangles and for its utter lack of a sun-drenched, music-swelling happy ending.
With ‘Closer,’ he returns to this familiar battlefield and finds, well, things haven’t gotten rosier over the years.
(‘Closer’ to the Truth, by Andy Cocker, The New York Post, Nov. 28, 2004.)

Personally, I thought it was a return to The Day of the Dolphin.

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Shallow

The Blurbin’ Fool Presents: Thanksgiving at the Movies

As anyone who’s been disowned by his family and rejected by even his mail-order bride knows, the only thing to do on Thanksgiving when you’re painfully alone is to see a lot of movies. It’s so much easier to cry in a dark movie theater, but it’s even better to laugh!
Here are my blurbs for this holiday weekend’s releases. Messrs. Ebert and Roeper, eat your hearts out:
National Treasure: A national disaster!
Kinsey: Hideous Kinsey!
The Incredibles: Incredibly bad!
Bad Education: You said it, not me!
Alexander: Alexander the So-So!
Finding Neverland: Lose it!
Ray: Gay!
After the Sunset: Ratner scores again! A roller-coaster ride of thrills and laughs: a witty tropical romp that’s as cool as a Daiquiri and twice as intoxicating!