I admired Hitler, for instance, because he came from being a little man with almost no formal education up to power. And I admire him for being such a good public speaker. – Future Governor, Arnold Schwarzenegger quoted in a book proposal by George Butler
Formerly hard-hitting, Pulitzer Prize winning journalist Jimmy Breslin once again takes on one of the most important issues… well, ever: why he hates dogs:
“[W]e know that dogs walked by their hideous owners on city streets are repugnant. They turn the place where you walk into an outdoor bathroom. They should be curbed, which means they could be out there among the buses. That is no loss as dogs have no souls.”- “Those Bad Dogs,” Newsday, Sept. 21, 2003
Breslin fans may remember he said something similar earlier this year:
“Out on the streets of the city there is the revolting sight of people walking along with their dogs and then bending and picking up after them. They humiliate themselves in public, and I cannot understand why a person, having done this, can walk with his head up and even look you in the eye if he catches you staring…On the same sidewalk, a woman dressed for the business day was bent down and picking up after a dog so small that he deserved to be crushed and the woman, after making such a sight of herself, should have been shunned.”-As quoted by Gawker
It should be noted that Mr. Breslin has had extensive surgery to his brain in the last decade, as if you couldn’t tell.
The NY Times revealed that the U.S. military has been practicing the craft of shooting down airborne civilian flights, should that ever become necessary, in case, well, you know.
Included is this one line, which seemed a bit more casual than perhaps it ought to have been:
“[The general] said pilots and ground controllers were screened to make sure they would not refuse an order to shoot down a suspicious airliner packed with civilians…”
Yikes. Just imagine how callous and, well, military-esque these people who made it through the selection process must be.
Further proof that all DJs are losers. Tasting the Foie Gras, Listening to the Jam, by Glenn Collins
I fantasize about being married to Jennifer Garner, too, but I don’t tell The New York Friggin’ Times:
“Mr. Wilson proudly showed off photographs of Ms. Plame, calling her a real-life Jennifer Garner, the actress who plays a spy on ‘Alias’ on ABC-TV and whom the C.I.A. has enlisted as a spokeswoman to appeal to recruits.”
Life imitates art which is also imitating life. Is the whole world a big Charlie Kaufman film?
I blame Rupaul:
“As soon as they arrived in Anshan, however, the problems began. They were asked to sign a contract that offered monthly pay far below the advertised level, initially just $24, minus a $13 charge for room and board. Bonuses were promised, but only for those who produced eyelashes above quotas.” – Chinese Girls’ Toil Brings Pain, Not Riches by Joseph Kahn
George Will shows off some unsurprisingly corny pop culture knowledge (what does Maureen Dowd think?) by wasting his opening paragraph with a drawn-out references to Witness. Are we to believe that Witness is the only way Will can discuss integrity? Why not The Indiana Jones Trilogy?
George Will, film buff and closet Harrison Ford fan. Who knew? I guess now we know posted all those Hollywood Homicide raves on Ain’t It Cool News.
Knut Royce.
Huh, huh, huh. I said “nut.”
It’s a truism that you can tell everything you need to know about a publication from its choice of headlines and sub-heads. (What? It’s not a truism? It is now.) With that in mind, let’s look at a couple of magazines’ and newspapers’ coverage of the same thing, namely, actor Peter Dinklage and his breakout role in The Station Agent.
“He’s taken small roles to great heights — and now with Sundance fave The Station Agent, this up-and-coming actor is livin’ large”
Does your magazine like to use multiple, overlapping puns in their subheads that signal irreverence and a willingness to make nice to celebrities and their handlers? Hello, Entertainment Weekly! (requires subscription)
GET SHORTY AN OSCAR
Does your newspaper pride itself on looking out for the underdog yet have an unhealthy affinity for crass humor? Greetings, New York Post!
THE BIG TIME
Did your magazine agonize over whether to make a pun about your subject’s size and then decide to do it anyway? The New Yorker, you rock!
Actor Peter Dinklage lives large
Is your publication Canadian and therefore exempt from coming up with anything even remotely clever? Oh, Canada.com!
