Category: Shallow

Parties don’t get more glamorous than this:
Henry Kissinger
Brian “Kato” Kaelin
Geraldo Rivera
Tina Louise
Don King
Donald Trump (Senior and Junior)
Mickey Sherman
and,
“a variety of celebrities of all ilk and importance including Stephen Baldwin, Jaid Barrymore, astronaut Buzz Aldrin and singer Michael Bolton.”
And, of course, Roger Friedman.
What, Sylvia Miles had something else that night?

Is Beyoncé technically even allowed to appear off-center in photos? Suddenly, nothing makes sense to me anymore.

The Wilco Book, October 2004… Brief Interviews with Hideous Men, April 2000
Okay, so I should’ve written about this when the book came out a month ago. I would’ve, but we were busy trying to avert an electoral disaster. (Lotta good that did. I’m filing that experience along with college and my last two jobs under ‘H’ for ‘Heartbreaking Failures.’)
So, let’s chalk this up to the science of Amazon recommendations: If you listen to Yankee Hotel Foxtrot on your iPod, you might like carrying around Infinite Jest. (And, yes, you might be the coolest fucking person ever. At least in your own mind, man.)

“NBC’s Saturday morning block is getting a new series that plays like a kiddie version of the ABC primetime hit Lost. Discovery Kids on NBC has given the go-ahead to 13 episodes of 29 Down, which chronicles the adventures of a group of kids whose airplane crashes on a deserted island. Shooting in Hawaii, Down will join NBC’s Saturday morning lineup—programmed by Discovery Networks—next year.”
–Hotline: Latest Hollywood creative coincidence, Boston Herald, Nov. 18, 2004.
[via TVTattle]

But why are they calling it a satire?

The New York Post, Nov. 21, 2004… Paul Rodriguez, 1994

Snoochy Boochy: You can preserve us anytime, baby!
Cough, cough. I mean, well crafted, intelligent joke to justify posting this attractive woman’s photo. Cough.

“Not even my new U2 Special Edition iPod can make me smile today.”

National Treasure is so hot, you’ll need a case of refreshing Aquafina water, from the good people at Pepsi.
Update: Turns out the professional wise-asses at The Onion AV Club made nearly the exact same joke as the above—three days ago. Either those guys saw my post and then built a time machine and went back to steal my idea, or hack minds think alike. We got beat: I guess that’s why those dude’s have the big first-look deal with Miramax and I’m just here blogging. Oh, well.