This just in from the public interest journalists at Page Six: Woody Allen is shopping his memoirs to publishers . According to suspiciously unnamed “publishing sources,” the book “will lay open the secrets of his affairs with Louise Lasser, Diane Keaton, Mia Farrow and his current wife, Soon Yi.” (Not exactly the most alluring list, but you work with what ya’ got.)
Great! Just what we need. More shitty writing wavering violently between self-aggrandizement and self-pity, intellectual name-dropping, pathetic rehashing of jokes that were funny 30 years ago, glorifying of a lost social-climbing New York lifestyle, and a naked grab for immortality. Basically, his last 10 movies only without the pretty young things for eye candy. Can’t wait!
Besides, didn’t Woody already write a book called Getting Even? Maybe this one should be called Without Morals.
50 Dollar bet: Blurb from David Remnick.
Author: matt
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An epistemological question for the ages
Can you simultaneously buy and steal an election?
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Don’t ever call me again
What happened to you, California? You used to be cool.
3.6 earthquake hits Southern California.
[Earthquake data via the ever-fruitful Fark]
Dear Headline Writers at The New York Post and The New York Daily News:
Please resist using the headline “LOST IN TRANSLATION” when reporting this story tomorrow. The lazy use of this headline was already thoroughly trashed in The New York Observer two weeks ago, so it’s not like you can still find it orginal or clever.
Thank you,
Your friends at low culture
Thinking it was another one of those mean “Morning Zoo” radio pranks, Nobel Prize winner Peter Mansfield doubted his wife when she told him he’d won.
[link via the tireless Fark]
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Li’l Millionaires
Attention Dakota Fanning: If you ever leave California, move to New York. According to today’s New York Times, Albany passed a new law forcing parents to put at least 15% of their perfmormer children’s money in a trust fund to be turned over to the little darlings if and when they reach 18. This is good news for child actors everywhere. If only this law had been in place sooner, Jonathan Lipnicki might not have descended into a Lick-’em-ade and OxyContin addiction and turned to rodeo clowning to make ends meet.
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Blogs 1, New York Times, 0
Gothamist, Sept. 19: Angle Grinder Man*
New York Times, Oct. 7: Car Owners’ Hero Dressed for the Job
* Yes, I know that Gothamist was linking from CNN, but she did it first.
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Welcome back, RZA
Out today: RZA’s Birth of a Prince. I guess medical school didn’t work out for The Abbot, but I’m glad he’s back to what he does best.
RZA doesn’t have a Web presence anymore (the mighty Wu empire is, sadly, in decline), but you can swing on over to rza.org home of Religious Zionists of America.
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Dear Robin, David, and Shia
Robin Williams, what happened to you? You were doing so good there for a second or two. You almost made me forget about Patch Adams and Jakob the Liar, What Dreams May Come and the other syrupy sweet pieces of crap you put out in the last decade. And now I hear about
Now, David Duchovny, what happened to you? I was never an X-Files fan, but I like your droll, intelligent persona (and your awesome cameos on The Larry Sanders Show and creepy role in Full Frontal). You wrote and are currently directing this movie (in Brooklyn, no less), so I’m sure it’s autobiographical, but David Duchovny, please resist the temptation to make anything that can be described as “touching,” “shot-through with emotion,” or “ringing true with pure sentiment.” I expect better from you. Please, David Duchovny!
Don’t even get me started on you, Shia LeBeouf! Get a haircut already. Please, Shia LeBeouf!