I thought Tracks Magazine the new Alan Light/John Rollins joint, was gonna be all about music. Why the hell is Wolverine on the cover of the first issue?
Categories
Author: matt
Categories
Not Here, Not Now
Kmart using Jesus Jones‘ paean to democracy in Eastern Europe? That’s just wrong. Really wrong.
Among the 150,000 protesters who greeted President Bush in England this week were the members of The Lefty Spice Girls. On the left (naturally) we have Fiona (aka ‘Anti-Globalization Spice’); in the middle is Johri (aka ‘Stop War Now Spice’); and in the back is Alex M. (‘Environmental Justice Spice’). Not pictured: Alex G. (aka, ‘Workers’ Rights Spice’) and Miranda (aka, ‘Legalize Marijuana Spice’).
Tell me what you want, what you really, really want… If you want my future, correct your past/If you wanna get with me, end the slog real fast…
Sidebar: What is the deal with photographers only shooting pretty girls at protests and rallies? I mean, that has to be the oldest scam in the book: “Hey, why don’t you give me your number and I’ll give you a print of this. You know, I’m pals with the photo editor at the paper, I can definitely make your whole sign visible…”
Check it out: 1; 2; 3; 4; 5. I could go on forever here. Don’t make me go on forever, okay?
Categories
Biting the Hand that Wanks you
The hard-hitting newsmen and women at CBS News in New York decided to follow last night’s spankin’ Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show (Grambo review, TK) with a report on how unsanitary Victoria’s Secret retail stores are. Here’s a cringe-inducing sample of the report:
John, not his real name, is a disgruntled former employee of two Victoria’s Secret stores. He came to us with the revolting allegation that it was store practice to take back used underwear and then resell it.
“When women would come in, I would be disgusted. I knew they were returning something they wore out to a date or just wore out to a club and it’s like, you want another woman to buy this?” said John.
[Reporter Arnold] Diaz asked John if there were there times that he put back underwear that he was pretty sure was used, “Yeah, all the time, all the time. I don’t even like touching it, I hold it by the tag because I don’t want to put my hands on that.”
What the hell do you call that? An apology? A rebuke? Synergy?
Courtney, we really, really knew ye.
You know that totally narcissistic fantasy you have about being able to attend your own funeral and hear what everyone has to say about you? (You know, like this guy.) Well, the girl with the most cake gets to have that experience without all the messy details of dying first.
This week, The Stranger looks back at the life of Courtney Love from her musical legacy to her amazing Hollywood make-over. There’s also a peak at new Loves and a celebrity humurist/eulogist to crack wise. (David Kamp wasn’t free, so they got this dude.)
It’s sad. She had so much to live for, but I guess she just couldn’t live through this.*
* Please don’t post that Courtney, as of 8AM EST is still alive. I get the joke, okay?
Perry Watson-Hoover III, as Michael Jackson, leaving a Santa Barbara Court House
Breaking News: JACKSON FACES CHILD MOLESTATION CHARGES
D.A.: Jackson to be charged with child molestation; Bail set at $3 million
Related: MICHAEL JACKSON IMPERSONATOR ACQUITTED OF MOLESTATION CHARGES
Charges that Perry Watson-Hoover III, a professional Michael Jackson impersonator, molested Jonathan Lipnicki‘s stand-in on the set of Stuart Little II were dropped when it was revealed the stand-in was 29 year-old Peter Feuerman. The Santa Barbara District Attorneys Office issued an official apology in the matter and Watson-Hoover expressed his relief and hope that he can continue to impersonate Michael Jackson for years to come.
Categories
Blind Man’s Blurbs
And in other local alternative press news, I’ve been seeing Jim Knipfel‘s name popping up in The New York Press as a B-movie DVD critic.
Maybe the jokes on me here, but how can Knipfel be a film critic, since he’s, like, blind? Knipfel is a decent writer, but, I mean, can he really be a film critic?
Part of The Village Voice‘s recent redesign is the inclusion of a weekly cultural essay, creatively named The Essay. I’m all for this, since it might give me a chance to one day repurpose some of my old college papers (anyone out there wanna see yet another piece on Muhammad Ali and Norman Mailer?), but this week, The Essay goes over the deep end.
Using Gus Van Sant’s film Elephant and The White Stripes’ album, um, Elephant as a jumping off-point, the impressively-named Leland de la Durantaye treats us to a 1442-word essay on… elephants called “The Cleansing of the Elephants: Trumpeting, flapping, crying: a cultural history, from Ding Yunpeng to Gus Van Sant.”
I skipped it.
This is the sort of thing Entertainment Weekly could’ve done in a 200-word charticle.
Next week, we’ll be treated to 2,000-words on little people using The Station Agent, Elf, and Bad Santa.
Categories
Michael Jackson: Is This Scary?
It’s you who’s taunting me
Because you’re wanting me
To be the stranger
In the night…
Is that scary for you baby
Am I scary for you oh boy
Is it scary for you big baby
Is it scary for you
You know the stranger is you
Is it scary for you big baby
From “Is This Scary,” by Michael Jackson from Blood on the Dance Floor: HIStory in the Mix
You know this kid is scared.