From the New York Daily News’ Daily Dish, April 9, 2004:
Carson Daly is getting long in the tooth – old, that is – for the MTV crowd.
How old is he? So old, that at 31, he’s going to get a Lifetime Achievement award at MTV’s upcoming TRL Awards.
With all due respect to former Senator Bob Kerrey.
KERREY: Dr. Clarke, in the spirit of further declassification…
RICE: Sir, with all…
KERREY: The spirit…
RICE: I don’t think I look like Dick Clarke, but…
(LAUGHTER)
KERREY: Dr. Rice, excuse me.
RICE: Thank you.
Slated to appear on the New York Times’ Corrections page, April 9, 2004:
Because of an editing error, we misidentified the author of an op-ed which appeared in Thursday’s paper about Nirvana’s Kurt Cobain and the growth of alternative rock music. The article was written by former Secretary of Labor Robert Reich, not Sonic Youth guitarist Thurston Moore. The Times regrets the error.
This is surreal…even more surreal than former White House press secretary Ari Fleischer’s ability to deliver press conferences from Bizarroland in which reporters’ questions were asked, only to be deftly deflected by irrelevant non-answers. Flipping the tables a bit, and following the lead of his boss, Vice President Dick Cheney, after throwing out the opening pitch for the Chicago Cubs-Cincinnati Reds game, spent a few minutes on Monday being interviewed from the radio booth by sports announcers Marty Brennaman and Joe Nuxhall – while the game was in progress – resulting in perhaps the most bizarrely irrelevant back-and-forth to be made available on the White House’s press transcript page since, well, ever.
Cheney on life at the White House:
Q: Is this a welcome break for you?
THE VICE PRESIDENT: It really is. I’ve got to go on tonight. I was in the White House this morning with the President. I’ve got a speech in New Orleans tonight, and I’ll be back in the White House tomorrow. But, sure, to get a few hours out here at the ball park, it doesn’t get much better than this.
Q: Kerry Wood at the plate, and a diving jab at the ball and knocked down by Castro. If he doesn’t touch it, Larkin fields it, a run scores and it’s a 5 to 2 ball game. So if Castro doesn’t touch the ball, Larkin is right there. But he doesn’t know that.
Cheney on current events, uncluding, presumably, the election and the situation in Iraq:
Q: A ball and a strike to Grudzielanek, and the stretch and the pitch: breaking ball drops in for a called strike, and a 1-2 count to Mark Grudzielanek. He is one for two this afternoon, has scored a run.
Q: Busy year for you folks, huh?
THE VICE PRESIDENT: Looks that way.
Q: It sure does. (Laughter.)
THE VICE PRESIDENT: A lot of work going on, a lot of stuff happening around the world, and then, of course, the campaign on top of that.
Cheney on his campaign itinerary:
Q: So now you’re in New Orleans tonight?
THE VICE PRESIDENT: In New Orleans tonight, and there’s a Senate race down there next year, or this — come November. And as I say, I’ll be back in Washington late tonight, and then be in the office tomorrow. I’m out on the road usually a couple days a week. And then on Friday, I take off for Asia for a week.
Q: Lidle delivers, and Patterson a swing and a miss. And it’s a 1-2 count to Corey Patterson.
Cheney on the economy:
Q: Are you pleased with the way things look as far as the economy is concerned?
THE VICE PRESIDENT: I am. I think all the signs are headed in the right direction.
Q: One-two pitch, swung on and missed. And Lidle picks up his second strike-out.
THE VICE PRESIDENT: And, of course, the employment numbers are looking good. We got those out last week. We’ve got some 400,000 jobs created here in the last couple of months, since the 1st of the year. So everything is, I think, moving in the right direction.
(via Al Kamen’s article in the April 7, 2004 Washington Post)
Regarding events of April 5, 2004, by way of the St. Francois County Daily Journal in Missouri:
ST. LOUIS (AP) – President Bush is getting the hang of throwing out first pitches. He tossed one in from the mound at Busch Stadium Monday, ceremonially opening the 2004 Major League Baseball season, and the catcher hardly had to move his mitt.
Bush said, in advance, “My wing isn’t what it used to be.”
But when he reared back and threw, the pitch was right in there. He also had said he planned to throw a “hopping fastball” to open the Brewers-Cardinals game, but it looked more like an off-speed pitch. The Cardinals’ Mike Matheny caught it easily.
“It just goes to show you a guy can get lucky occasionally,” Bush said afterward.
Regarding events of April 5, 2004, by way of the Washington Post:
In Baghdad’s Kadhimiya district, meanwhile, three members of the Army’s 1st Armored Division died in combat Monday and Tuesday.
One died from wounds received Tuesday when a rocket-propelled grenade hit his Bradley Fighting Vehicle. Another was killed Monday when his convoy was attacked with small arms and rocket-propelled grenade fire. The third died later in the day Monday during a firefight, the military announced Tuesday.
From the New York Times, “7 G.I.’s Killed in Iraq Fights Since Weekend, U.S. Says,” April 6, 2004:
Mr. Bremer, in an interview on CNN today, vowed to arrest Mr. Sadr.
“He believes that in the new Iraq, like in the old Iraq, power should be with the guy who’s got the guns, and that’s an unacceptable vision for Iraq,” he said.
Quickly: what color is Hellboy?
“…skin the inflamed, velvety hue of a baked ham,”
Ty Burr, Boston Globe
“…red as sin,”
Elvis Mitchell, New York Times
“…big order of tandoori chicken,”
J. Hoberman, Village Voice
OK, it’s happened before when, during the buildup to the invasion of Iraq, Newsweek ran a puff piece on Condi Rice in its December 16, 2002 issue, under the headline “‘The Real Condi Rice’ The Most Powerful Woman In Washington Is Black, Brainy and Bush’s Secret Weapon.” That cover story, however, had at least a semblance of dignified and topical news content, unlike Maki Becker’s “20 things about Condie: You probably didn’t know this about Condoleeza Rice” in the April 4, 2004 New York Daily News.
Selected lowlights:
1. She’s a fitness buff who likes to unwind by working out to music by heavy-metal legends Led Zeppelin, according to People magazine. She wakes up at 5 a.m. and hits the treadmill right away.
4. She loves to shop. “On a Sunday, don’t be surprised if you see me at one of the malls in Washington, D.C.,” she once told Glamour magazine.
7. While in high school, she was a competitive ice skater (l.).
13. She’s a huge football fan and loves the Cleveland Browns. She’s said her “dream job” would be NFL commissioner.
17. In February 2001, Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon told reporters he was distracted the first time he met her. “I have to confess, it was hard for me to concentrate in the conversation with Condoleezza Rice because she has such nice legs.”
Oh, and Maki? If you’re going to christen the devil in shorthand like that, it’s Condi and not fucking Condie. At least, that’s how she signed my holiday greeting card.
