Author: jp

The third in a series of posts delicately pointing out the mindless repetition inherent to the political ‘stump speech’. This week’s target, Vice President Dick Cheney. (EARLIER: George W. Bush, John Kerry)
Remarks by the Vice President at a Reception for 2004 State Victory Committee, Little Rock, Arkansas, May 24, 2004:

And some of you may know that my only job as Vice President is to preside over the United States Senate. When they wrote the Constitution, they created the post of Vice President, but they got down to the end of the convention, and they remembered suddenly they hadn’t given him anything to do. (Laughter.) So they made him the President of the Senate, the presiding officer.
It’s not quite as exciting as it used to be. My predecessor John Adams actually had floor privileges. He could go down in the well and engage in the debate. And then he did a couple of times, and they withdrew his floor privileges. (Laughter.) They’ve never been restored.

Remarks by the Vice President at the Diamond Casting and Machine Tool Company, Hollis, New Hampshire, May 10, 2004:

My only real job as Vice President is as President of the Senate. When they wrote the Constitution, they got down to the end of the convention, they’d created this post called Vice President, but they hadn’t given the guy anything to do. (Laughter.) So they made him the presiding officer of the United States Senate.
And my predecessor John Adams, our first Vice President, also had floor privileges. He could actually go down into the floor of the Senate and participate in the debate. And then he did a couple of times, and they withdrew his floor privileges. (Laughter.) And they’ve never been restored.

Remarks by the Vice President at a Reception for Gubernatorial Candidate Mitch Daniels, Indianapolis, Indiana, April 23, 2004:

My only real job as Vice President is to preside over the United States Senate. When they wrote the Constitution and created the post of Vice President, they got down to the end of the Constitutional Convention and suddenly realized they hadn’t given the Vice President any job. He didn’t have anything to do. So they made him the President of the Senate, said, you get to preside over the Senate, cast tie-breaking votes.
And my predecessor John Adams, our first Vice President, also had floor privileges. He was allowed to go down into the well and actually engage in the debate of the day. And then he did a couple of times, and they withdrew his floor privileges. (Laughter.) They’ve never been restored.

Remarks by the Vice President at a Luncheon for Congressional Candidate Sam Graves, Kansas City, Missouri, April 23, 2004:

My only official duty as Vice President is to preside over the Senate. When they wrote the Constitution, they created the post of Vice President, and they got down to the end of the Constitutional Convention, they figured out they hadn’t given him anything to do. (Laughter.) So they made him the President of the Senate to allow the Vice President to preside over the Senate, also cast that tie-breaking vote when the Senate is 50-50 on a proposition.
My predecessor John Adams, our first Vice President, also had floor privileges. He could go down into the well of the Senate and actually join in the debate and argue the issues of the day. And then he did a couple of times, and they withdrew his floor privileges. (Laughter.) They’ve never been restored.

Remarks by the Vice President at a Luncheon for Congressional Candidate Kevin Triplett, Roanoke, Virginia, April 19, 2004:

My only official duty is as President of the Senate. When they wrote the Constitution, they created the post of Vice President. But they got down to the end of the Constitutional Convention, they realized they had not given him anything to do. (Laughter.) So they made him the President of the Senate, the presiding officer. And you get to preside over the United States Senate, cast tie-breaking votes when the Senate is tied.
And my predecessor John Adams, our first Vice President, also had floor privileges. He could actually go into the well and engage in debate and talk about the issues of the day. And then he did a couple of times, and they withdrew his floor privileges. (Laughter.)

Remarks by the Vice President at An Event for Congressman Jon Porter, Las Vegas, Nevada, January 15, 2004:

Most people don’t realize that my only real job is as the President of the Senate. When they wrote the Constitution, they created the post of Vice President, and then they got down to the end of the Constitutional Convention and realized that they hadn’t given anything to do. (Laughter.) So at the least minute they cobbled together this job called the President of the Senate, and made it possible for the Vice President to actually be called the President of the Senate — I actually get paid by the Senate; that’s where my paycheck comes from — to preside as the presiding officer of the Senate, cast tie-breaking votes when the Senate is deadlocked.
And my predecessor, John Adams, our first Vice President also had floor privileges. He could go down into the well of the Senate and engage in the debate of the day, and actually participate in the exciting debate on the major issues of the day in the Senate, itself. And then he did a couple of times, and they withdrew his floor privileges. (Laughter.) And they’ve never been reinstated.

Sadly, the Vice President hasn’t quite perfected his delivery and comic timing when addressing an international audience. Here he is speaking to a crowd of students at China’s Fudan University:
Remarks by the Vice President at Fudan University Followed by Student Body Q&A, Shanghai, China, April 15, 2004:

The role of the Vice President has evolved over the years. When our Constitution was written in Philadelphia at our Constitutional Convention, they created the position of Vice President. But when they got to the end of the convention, they decided that they hadn’t given him anything to do. He had no work. So they made him the President of the Senate, that is the presiding officer over our upper house of our Congress and gave him the ability to cast tie-breaking votes.

From “C.I.A. Bid to Keep Some Detainees Off Abu Ghraib Roll Worries Officials”, the New York Times, May 25, 2004:

The Central Intelligence Agency’s practice of keeping some detainees in Abu Ghraib prison off the official rosters so concerned a top Army officer and a civilian official there that they reached a written agreement early this year to stop.
An undated copy of the memorandum was obtained by The New York Times. It was described as an agreement between the Army intelligence unit assigned to the prison and “external agencies,” a euphemism for the C.I.A., to halt practices that bypassed both military rules and international standards.
[…]
The memorandum criticizing the practice of keeping prisoners off the roster was signed by Col. Thomas M. Pappas, commander of the 205th Military Intelligence Brigade, and a James Bond, who is identified as “SOS, Agent in Charge.” Military and intelligence officials said that they did not know of a Mr. Bond who had been assigned to Abu Ghraib, and that it was possible that the name was an alias.

Gosh, you think so?
On a tangential note, it’s slightly amusing to imagine the sense of identification various male government officials seem to have with Agent 007. Not only international-oriented figures, as with the CIA instance cited above, but domestically, as well, as this pose by the FBI’s top cop suggests. Although what Johnny would do with all those mysterious temptresses, we have no idea…though he’s got the gun thing down pat.

(With thanks to Jeff)

From “Pentagon Finds More Prison Abuse Photos”, Associated Press, May 20, 2004:

Photos of two American soldiers posing with thumbs up near a body packed in ice at Iraq’s Abu Ghraib prison were shown on ABC-TV.
The photos showed Army Sgt. Charles A. Graner Jr. and Spc. Sabrina Harman, both of whom have already been charged in the prisoner abuse scandal.
The detainee, whose badly bruised corpse was in a body bag packed with ice, died in the prison’s showers while being interrogated by the CIA or other civilian agents, ABC reported Wednesday. It said the Justice Department is investigating the death.
[…]
[Graner’s lawyer, Guy Womack of Houston,] told ABC News the photo of his client represented inappropriate “gallows humor.”

Ohhhh, I get it. Let me give it a try, too! (But below the fold, I mean, cos it is “inappropriate.”)

From President Bush’s address to AIPAC (President Speaks to the American Israel Public Affairs Committee), Washington, D.C., Tuesday, May 18, 2004:

The Israeli people have always had enemies at their borders and terrorists close at hand. Again and again, Israel has defended itself with skill and heroism. And as a result of the courage of the Israeli people, Israel has earned the respect of the American people. (Applause.)

The very next day, from “Explosion rips through crowd of Palestinian demonstrators, killing at least 10”, San Francisco Chronicle, Wednesday, May 19, 2004:

An Israeli missile and four tank shells ripped through a large crowd of Palestinians demonstrating Wednesday against the Israeli invasion of a neighboring refugee camp, killing at least 10 Palestinians. Hospital officials said all the victims were children and teenagers.
Israel’s military acknowledged that soldiers fired four tank shells, a missile and machine guns to stop 3,000 Palestinian demonstrators it said were heading toward a battle zone in the Gaza Strip.
“There were armed men in the midst of the demonstration,” Brig. Gen. Ruth Yaron, the army spokeswoman, told Israel TV’s Channel One.

For what it’s worth, there are some additional reports indicating that some of the demonstrators and protesters were throwing rocks, which I guess makes the whole “missiles” and “tank shells” response fair enough.