Totally deaf human-person Marlee Matlin deserves to be given the hand gestures for enthusiastic applause and patronizing congratulation upon the news of her appointment to head a new, conservative imprint for Simon & Schuster. Despite Matlin’s complete inability to hear, and her limited ability to speak like a normal person, she has not only won a Special Academy Award but also managed to domesticate notorious pussy-hound James Carville. The two have become ubiquitous for their “opposites attract” romance: Carville is the classic Clinton-era liberal while Matlin is completely, defiantly deaf. They both starred in the cult classic K Street and have become poster children for people who have starred in K Street.
Because of Matlin’s handicapability, her as yet unnamed imprint will undoubtedly offer its conservative titles in Braille editions. And that presumptive breakthrough, shattering the conservative publishing industry’s notorious deaf-glass-ceiling, deserves enthusiastic, visually demonstrative applause.
14 replies on “Deaf, Dumb and Bald”
Um, is this a joke? Wrong Matlin, folks. Carville is married to Mary, not Marlee.
Plus, it’s Mary Matalin who is getting the new S&S imprint.
wow, i’m so embarrassed… which is to say i’m blushing at the realization that people like scott are reading my posts and taking them to heart. let’s hope yr just a one l, baby — the paper has outrun any chase you can give.
Don’t worry. It takes brains to spot a satire. Only 2 out of 10 will recognize it. Even though you even posted the WORDS with your post.
Welcome to America. The Literary-est of the Literary countries.
a literary LAW student as well!
hey, doesn’t the law have a lot of…um, what’s it called? oh, yeah.. fine print?
This kind of satire is a literary “no no” if you ask me. It’s not funny, and does nothing more than make people question the IQ of “guy”(fairly or unfairly). It may take brains to spot satire, but…”Successful satire has got to be pretty good the day after tomorrow.” (D. Parker)
i still think guy is won of the funyest of the low culters. if your not smart enuf too comperhend his joking, maybe your just not so smart.
okay, you know what, low culture? ive read you for a while now and it’s always sort of been with a mild benevolent tolerance because you’re linked to and recommended by so many people, but i’ve never really been that into you. and lately, you’ve gotten even more pompous and inflated and cleverly self-referential and full of “satire” and “jokes,” and i just don’t have time for that shit. so i’m deleting you from my bookmarks list, which is like, the ultimate in de-linking from my blog, or unfriending from my livejournal, or deleting your contact from my sidekick, or whatever. i just wanted you to know. bye bye low culture. you are just too highbrow and subtle for me. please don’t call anymore.
A SCATHING INDICTMENT FROM BEE
Ha, ha, ha — I get it — you weren’t being serious! The joke’s on me! Um, okay…except…
Two problems:
1) It’s not very funny.
2) It’s not even satire.
Satire is your sometimes-funny photoshopped images, original captions on real images, fake quotes and lists, etc. Writing something that appears to be nothing more than a rude take on a real news item based on an incorrect factual basis is not satire. It’s just stupid.
Perhaps I should be embarassed that you apparently labelled this “satire” below it. Well, I’m not. First, I don’t read categories/dates/authors etc. at the bottom of posts. Second, your categories are all over the place anyway. If you are going to mix the completely made up shit in with real stories that happen to include your own snarky commentary, you should attempt to separate the two a bit better.
At the very least, you should acknowledge the possibility of a mix-up and refrain from insulting your readers who unknowingly fall into the traps.
Scott’s shown me the light: The Pat O’Brien rehab playlist is totally fake. Those aren’t the correct song titles and I have no idea if Pat O’Brien even uses iTunes.
This just in: apparently Jonathan Swift did not actually intend that the Irish should eat their own children! It would seem that I need to rethink all of my preconceived notions about satire. Gosh, so much to be learned in this bloggyland!
in defense of low culture, i thought this was priceless, in large part because for many years i thought both matlins WERE the same person. i would watch one on “picket fences” and then hear about the other on the news and think, “wow! she’s deaf — AND prolific!”
“In defense of low culture”..heh.
Sounds like a brilliant post-millenial retrospective.
Anyway, I thought the Matlin/Matalin thing was funny, but mostly because I was as confused as ester for several years.