Secretary: Alex Winter for you, Mr. Reeves.
Keanu Reeves: All right, put ‘im through.
Alex Winter: Ted Theodore Logan!
KR: Ha ha. What’s up, man?
KR: Funny. So, what’s up, Alex?
KR: Right, right. So, what’s goin’ on?
AW: Nothin’ bro. Just calling to congratulate you on the boffo Constantine box office, man. Congratulations.
KR: Oh, thanks. Yeah, it’s a good movie. We’re all really proud of it.
AW: Cool, cool. Did I ever tell you how much I loved that Matrix series? God, it was so good!
KR: Aw, I’m flattered, dude.
So, what’s up with you?
AW: Oh, you know me. Writing, auditioning, do my thing. I’m still in the game, you know. I mean, not in the Constantine type game, but you know it’s like a trade-off: you make those hundred million dollar flicks, but you gotta, like, get on that treadmill and sell it, promote it.
AW: Yeah, I’m totally happy where I am, you know? Remember when we were kids, man, and we’d dream about our careers between set-ups? God, we were so fucking naive, dude! I wanted to be the next David Lynch, you were gonna be the next Marlon Brando!
KR: Funny. Hey, Alex—
AW: And you said you’d be my Kyle MacLachlan and star in all my movies.
AW: So, any sidekick parts in your new flicks?
KR: No. Sorry, man.
AW: What about, like, secondary sort of—
KR: Alex, you know, the thing is, I’m taking some time off since I worked, like, nonstop since ’99.
AW: What about The Night Watchman?
KR: Alex, I gotta—
AW: What about Il Mare?
KR: Shoot, Alex. I’ve got a meeting and—
AW: Cool, cool. Let’s talk again later.
KR: Totally. Good to hear from you, man.
AW: Hey, do you know anything about the Lost Boys remake? Wouldn’t it be hilarious if I played the grandpa? Like, in age make-up, you know?
KR: Yeah, if I hear anything—
AW: I mean, I did age makeup in Bogus.
KR: Alex. I got people outside the door. Talk to you later?
AW: Yeah, yeah. Well, congrats again on Constantine. I mean, wow!
AW: Well, um, be excellent, Ted.
KR: Be excellent… Bill.
Earlier: Two Friends Talking: A One Act Play
12 replies on “Be Excellent to Each Other: A One Act Play”
successfull: things are going quite well, thanks for calling. what have you been doing lately?
matt: Oh, lots of bitterness. I have this blog and i pretty much focus on negativity and cheap shots. I find it funny and so do a bunch of people who post on it. The important thing is that i’m lashing out at the world.
succesful: you´re wasting your time, matt. there´s a bunch of ignorant idiots out there with a complete absence of humor or irony. i bet you get a lot of envious imbeciles posting moralizing and droll comments.
matt: yeah, man, you´re totally on the mark.
And I worked so hard to get that phone into Alex’s hand, too.
Alex Winter directed videos for the Butthole Surfers.
i consider that as more than Keanau ever achieved
Seems to me Constantine is just Neo all over again. Am I wrong here? For my money, the last great thing kenunu did was Parenthood.
I think the story here is promising beginnings branching out into two different forms of failure.
can one actually ‘do’ bitterness?
Alex Winter, joke writer for Jimmy Kimmel Live. Go figure.
It was like ironic and tragic at the same time; it was trajironic. Irongic? Without them we would have never had “Dude, Where’s My Car?” Anyway, they filmed their buddy flick at my high school and I find that the unkindest cut of all.
I’m confused…Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure was a “promising beginning?”
He’s probably the only writer for JKL that can both write a punchline and be a punchline.