Grave

Pyramid Scheme

Credit Guy Womack (no relation) for even further lowering the bar on the bullshit we can expect from defense attorneys. As lawyer for Charles Graner, the alleged ringleader of the Iraq prisoner abuse scandal, Womack yesterday offered a defense that managed to be at once offensive, incredible and troglodytic. From Reuters:

Graner’s attorney said piling naked prisoners into pyramids and leading them by a leash were acceptable methods of prisoner control. He compared this to pyramids made by cheerleaders at sports events and parents putting tethers on toddlers.
“Don’t cheerleaders all over America form pyramids six to eight times a year. Is that torture?” Guy Womack, Graner’s attorney, said in opening arguments to the 10-member U.S. military jury at the reservist’s court-martial.

Outrage was registered in all the expected outposts, but what of the slander to cheerleaders? Surely the Pyramid Defense doesn’t do the spirit industry any favors. I contacted Sheila Noone, editor of American Cheerleader magazine, for her thoughts.

From: Sheila Noone
Date: Tue Jan 11, 2005 12:25:18 PM America/New_York
To: guy cimbalo
Subject: Re: Inquiry
Guy:
Thanks for even thinking of us.
Everything a cheerleader does on the field is done for a positive response and to build spirit. With this tasteless analogy, Mr. Womack has trivialized the problem of Army misconduct and insulted the 4 million cheerleaders who work so hard to be taken seriously as athletes and student leaders.
Please call if you would like to discuss this more.
Best,
Sheila Noone
Editorial Director
American Cheerleader & Cheer Biz News

17 replies on “Pyramid Scheme”

Alright, the cheerleader analogy sucks. What happened at Abu Ghraib was wrong, no matter how you shake it, but I’ll guarantee that they recieved orders, or at the very least were in a culture that they thought would allow their actions. That calls for indictments at higher levels, and thats not happening. By getting angry primarilly with the soldiers in the pictures we are only promoting a scapegoat. Heads should have already rolled for this at very high levels, and we need to call for it now.

M. Womack can expect coordinated pummeling by hundreds of fluffy pom poms, accompanied with back flips and hand clapping. Probably no leashes though…

but a cheerleader on a leash? Now THAT’S hot.

Everytime I hear someone utter that phrase, I think of Paris at the DMV (or wherever that is) playing with her Sidekick.

I know, and that upsets me because I’m 32 and I’ve been saying “that’s hot” for stupid shit for at least 5 years.

of course if you’re Graner you must be thinking “I must remember not to drop the soap” . . .

Hey, let’s force cheerleaders to strip, blindfold them, make them make a pyramid, then take smiling pictures of ourselves next to them…they do that all the time, right??
What a Jerk0ff.

So, what he’s saying is that those prisoners weren’t really prisoners after all, they were just frustrated male cheerleaders showing that they, too, are capable of forming pyramids. With the added bonus of being naked.
That’s so hot.

…not only that, but you know that prisoner with the black pointy hood? well, he’s just in costume as the team mascot! rah rah rah!

that man womack is a genius. those ‘prisoners’ at aboo garheeb were treated to things that most americans would pay top dollar to see/capture on film/be subject to. i myself have received quotes in excess of a thousand dollars to be man-handled by just one sweaty marine/conquistadore/lumberjack. but those stingy arabs got a whole platoon of them! for free! a promising future in the personal pleasure business awaits mr. graner upon aquittal. take my reservation now, please.

five points to bradley for using conquistador in a sentence.

yet the phrase ‘turgid luddite’ received none? what kind of game are you playing?

a dangerous game. One you don’t want to get mixed up in. forget all you knew, or thought you knew…
this week…
on ER.

A lot of responces but no answers. I, for one, would like to know how “torture” is going to be defined in this new information age. As most of us know, the terrorists have received training that tells them to not cooperate with their American captors because we to moral to actually hurt them. We our actions are to predicable we become more vulnerable to terrorists. No easy answers. The abuses at the prison were wrong but the question is still one that needs an answer. How far do we go to stop these islamofacists from succeeding in our destruction? (This being their publicly stated goal)

Well, first you’re going to have to prove to me that everyone involved in the Abu Grahb torture scandal was indeed an islamofascist and not just an iraqi in prison for being uppity.
Secondly, I’m not sure how torture for the purpose of entertaining idiot troops will get anyone to talk. Bamboo under the fingernails is torture AND it gets people to confess…putting people in a pyramid is humiliating, angering and will ENSURE no cooperation.

Tyree, I for one would define torture as being locked in an airless, flourescent-lit room, with a TV tuned only to reality shows blaring in the background.
Actually, that sounds a lot like where I work.

Tyree, I would say that we must take the moral high ground. Otherwise, we just look oike bigger idiots. I saw a poll the other day that said 52% of Iraqis wouldn’t have a problem with someone hurting a coalition member. If they already hate us that much, why make it worse by presenting ourselves as torturers. In Bush’s own words, this is a “battle of hearts and minds” before it is a military struggle. Anything we do that makes it look like we aren’t on the Iraqis’ side for any reason is a battle lost in the hearts and minds campaign.
Also, the more we torture, the farther across the line they will go. I’m not saying the follow the Geneva conventions, they don’t. I’m saying that they get more wiggle room, in the eyes of Iraqis, to behead people with every instance of torture at the hands of the Americans.

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