It is clear — the time has come for the MetroSexual Anti-Defamation League. As this casting call should reveal, those simpering, moisturizing girly-boys are about to be subjected to the sadistic imaginations of reality show producers. Have we learned nothing from Playing It Straight?
We’re looking for guys, 21-35, to star in an upcoming reality series for a major cable network. He just needs to be for adventure — and extremely UN-manly.
WHAT KINDS OF GUYS ARE WE LOOKING FOR?
We want to hear about any guy you’d consider extremely UN-manly — the guy who needs to get in touch with his more primal side (and has a sense of humor). It could be a mamma’s boy, metrosexual, or minivan-driving carpool dad. Think George Costanza, Frasier Crane or Raymond without the whole everyone loving him part. Any version of modern emasculated man will be more than welcome. Be creative and have fun with it! To spark your imagination, here are a few examples:
Ladies, it could be your
…husband who’s painted NASCAR stripes on the minivan.
…new-age vegan ex who’s been so busy trying to save the world, he’s never experienced it.
…metrosexual boyfriend who thinks he’s prettier than you.
Guys, it could be
…the one guy that you and your buddies all think needs to grow a set.
…your old friend who’s serving time as a middle manager in a suburban office park.
…your trust fund college roommate who’s never had to work a day in his life.
…the guy in the office who’s over 30, still lives at home and has his clothes laid out for him. He may or may not be a virgin.