Categories
Grave

Lost Among the Debris: History

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According to a caption in today’s New York Times, the AP Photo above shows “Looters on Monday at the house of former President Jean-Bertrand Aristide, where family and school pictures lay among the debris.” (Haitian Rebels Enter Capital; Aristide Bitter, by Tim Weiner and Lydia Polgreen)
What is not stated, is that the painting in the foreground depicts Toussaint L’Ouverture, the revolutionary who lead the slave revolt that brought freedom to Haiti, the first free Black republic in the world.
This would be like seeing a painting of Thomas Jefferson or George Washington amid a pile of post-revolution trash at the White House and calling it “personal effects and ephemera.”
See also: The Black Jacobins: Toussaint L’Ouverture and the San Domingo Revolution (non-fiction account);
All Souls’ Rising, by Madison Smartt Bell (fictionalized account).

Categories
Shallow

Return of the King

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The Real Messiah: Tony Soprano and His disciples, (photo by Annie Leibovitz)
The Sopranos returns to HBO this Sunday. The show’s been on hiatus for fifteen months, but returns just in time to save the world.
Maybe you’ve heard about the little culture war going on in America right now: frightening religious evangelism at the muliplexes, a bigoted election year proposal for a new Constitutional amendment , Clear Channel pulling Howard Stern from radio stations under pressure from the FCC, seemingly endless debate about a pop singer’s exposed breast. What we need right now is something to unify us, something we can all get behind. The Sopranos may just be the thing.
What we also need is a strong leader, someone who understands the moral ambiguities of this world but has the clear(ish) vision to (mostly) know the difference between right and wrong and who even occasionally does the right thing. Someone who has a leadership philosophy personally cobbled together from Sun Tzu and “that book Prince Matchabelli,” rather than handed to him by Karl Rove and Hop on Pop.
Re-enter Tony Soprano, and not a minute too soon.
Tony may seem like an unlikely hero, but who else do we have? (Superman? Guy’s a total fuckin’ square.) In Tony, we get a hero these times deserve: He’s powerful, but gentle, decisive, but racked by insecurities. Tony’s complicated, off-center sense of morality is the perfect antidote to the simplistic manichean world views of our elected officials and the supercilious ‘talking heads’ who attempt to contextualize them for us on TV.
Tony knows this world is fucked, which is why he feels it’s up to each of us to define our own destinies. As he told his shrink in the first episode of the series “It’s good to be in something from the ground floor. I came too late for that, I know. But lately I’m getting the feeling that I came in at the end. The best is over.”
If that’s not a “God is dead” for our century, what is? (Ask Anthony, Jr. who said “God is dead” and he’ll tell you “Nitsch”.) Through his actions and the ways he deals with their consequences, Tony shows us that we all in our own ways upset the moral ecology: if there’s a shit storm all around you, you better look in the mirror before you shake your fist at the sky.
With the return of The Sopranos, we’ll all finally have something to talk about besides the election, terrorism, the economy, and conflicting interpretations of family values. (Well, those of us willing and able to pay for HBO, at least.) And Slate will bring back its panel of shrinks to analyze the show for us, instead of relying on pundits to read the entrails of the body politic. Soon, Tony and Carmela will return to magazine covers and supplant that other power-hungry dynastic clan. And what a great day that will be.
Besides, this culture war’s gone on long enough, hasn’t it? Let’s bring on the entertainment. It’s gotten to the point where no one can even remember why the war started in the first place. As Tony once said, “This whole war could have been averted. Cunnilingus and psychiatry brought us to this.”
That’s almost a little kinda true, right?
The Sopranos airs Sunday at 9PM EST on HBO.

Categories
Shallow

Exclusive: low culture blogs the Oscars®!

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low culture asked Matt Haber’s dog to blog the 76th Academy Awards (“The Oscars®,” to those in the industry) in real time. Here’s her report from the biggest night in show biz:
8:30: I wonder if there’s anything left in my bowl. Sometimes I go back into the kitchen and there’s still a couple of pieces of food in my bowl for me. Maybe I should check.
8:32: Nothing in the bowl. Do I want water? Okay, a little sip.
8:33: Uch, I’m so itchy.
8:33: Ahhhhhhh… Scratching feels so good.
8:35: I wonder if there’s anything left in my bowl.
8:35: Damnit. Do I want water?
9:00: I’m not sleeping, just resting my eyes. I’m not even tired—
9:52: Itchy ear, itchy ear! Okay, that’s better. Maybe I should rest my eyes some more…

Categories
Shallow

Slipped Right Through His Fingers

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Mike Tyson, London, July 21, 1989, Courtesy: The Ring Magazine. (From Boxer)
“Bankrupt boxer Mike Tyson is financially down for the count, saying things have gotten so bad that he’s struggling just to put food on the table.”
BROKE TYSON: I’LL FIGHT FOR FOOD, by Adam Miller, The New York Post, Feb. 27, 2004
Whenever I read about Mike Tyson’s travails—rape convictions, ear-biting, arguments with reporters, acrimonious divorces, fist-fights in a Brooklyn hotel, facial tattoos, bankruptcy—I always think of the scene in Barbara Kopple‘s phenomenal, empathic 1993 documentary Fallen Champ in which Tyson, age 15, has a breakdown between bouts at the 1982 National Junior Olympics in Colorado and sobs to his trainer Teddy Atlas:

“It’s all right now… I’m Mike Tyson… everybody likes me, yes, everybody likes me… I’ve come a long way, I’m a fighter now, I’m Mike Tyson.”

Just beneath the tabloid spectacle of Tyson’s public decline is a very real tragedy. Unfortunately, Tyson is such an unsympathetic figure that it’s hard to feel bad for the guy. Sadly, his story’s gonna get a lot worse before it ends.

Categories
Shallow

I disliked Big Fish, too, but I wouldn’t call it ‘crud’ (Or ‘Enthralling,’ actually)

Billy Crudup, who starred in Big Fish, has managed to make crud enthralling.”
Unabashed Stars Break the Shackles of the Name Game, by Virginia (insert your own lame joke about my last name) Heffernan, The New York Times, Feb. 27, 2004.

Categories
Shallow

Absolutely Our Last Passion-Related Post (Today)

The early reviews are in:
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‘Jews Killed Jesus’ Sign Causing Controversy: Pastor Refuses To Remove Or Change Saying On Outdoor Marquee, ABC News, Denver
[Thanks, Krusty!]

Categories
Shallow

“Huzzah,” He Lied

How do you know a publicist is lying? His lips are moving.
Check out this hilariously deluded comment from Mel Gibson’s PR man, Alan Nierob (whom we’re told is “himself the child of Holocaust survivors”), in Sharon Waxman’s New Film May Harm Gibson’s Career (The New York Times, Feb. 26, 2004):

“I think Hollywood appreciates good art and will embrace the talent of a filmmaker.”

C’mon, Alan! Even you can’t believe that.

Categories
Shallow

Lewis Black Can’t Lose (Actually, he has. And he’s still pissed.)

Lblack.jpgIf you thought Lewis Black was just that overly-caffeinated, disheveled comedian who does Back in Black on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, swing on by The LA Weekly to learn about his early career as a playwright. (In Love, Pissed, by David Shulman).
Like any writer, Black’s got a little creation myth about the moment he was first prompted to put pen to paper. Like his comedy, it’s half bitter, half funny as hell:

“I’d been living with an actress… And she went over and did a major motion picture in England. We’d been together three years, and now we were in Skid Mode. So she goes over there [England], and I don’t hear from her until she calls me up and tells me she’s met the man she’s going to marry. And I’m like, Are you out of your fucking mind? Because this is a girl without a mainstream romantic bone in her body. Less than a year later, she’s marrying the guy. All my friends went to the wedding. And I didn’t… I really loved her family. We got along really well, and I heard that all the family talked about at the wedding was me, and how they couldn’t believe she was marrying this other guy. So all I did was go, Wow — what if I had shown up? And that was really what the play became about.”

His lose is the audience’s gain, I guess.
Black’s show, One Slight Hitch, is playing now at the Falcon Theatre in Burbank.

Categories
Shallow

S-I-T-C-O-M Men

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Method Man and Redman: The New Face of FOX?
The mainstreaming of Method Man and Redman continues with the announcement that the rappers will star in a new sitcom for FOX. (Fox Parties with Boyz N’ the Gated Hood, Hollywood Reporter, Cynthia Littleton and Nellie Andreeva).
Setting aside for the moment the awful, dated headline, here’s the story of the show’s premise:

The untitled Method Man/Redman project, now in production in New Jersey, is one of the heat-seekers on Fox’s comedy development slate this year… The project, described as a kind of edgier take on “The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air” theme, was the brainchild of Method Man, the Wu-Tang Clan member who figured that his idea for a TV series couldn’t be any worse than a lot of the stuff he has seen in primetime in recent years.

I’ll withhold my judgment until I see it, mostly because Method Man is so fucking awesome. I still listen to Tical all the time and whenever I hear Meph’s growling, blunt-smoking frogman voice on a Wu-Tang album or side project (his verse on Raekwon‘s “Ice Cream” is a classic), I marvel at just what an amazing MC he is.
Redman‘s pretty great, too: Dare Iz A Darkside is the rare CD that holds up ten years after its release. And Redman’s sense of humor is evident in some of his more playful rhymes.
I’ve never seen How High, but I know from their videos and their short-lived Right Guard commercials that Method Man and Redman have great comic chemistry. (Maybe not the best taste in material, as a series of deodorant commercials suggests, but hey, they’ve got kids and college is expensive.)
It’s also interesting to see how the mainstream uses—and is used—by edgy rappers. Snoop Dogg set the template for transforming a frightening rap persona into a cuddly pose. (Even your mom says “Fo’ Shizzle” nowadays.) Ice Cube is following suit with Barbershop and Barbershop 2: Back in Business. By this time next year, Method Man and Redman may be trading small talk with Regis and Kelly: time will only tell.
It’ll be interesting to see how this show is positioned by FOX. Can they make it into another Bernie Mac Show or will they drop the ball like they did with Cedric the Entertainer?
[via TV Tattle]

Categories
Shallow

Kael, Kael, Spin, Spin

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Pauline Kael and Shane Black: The Beautiful and the Damned
Shane Black, the poster boy for overpaid Hollywood hacks, is set to write and direct his first film for producer Joel Silver. According to Done Deal, the specifics are as follows:
Title: Kiss, Kiss, Bang, Bang
Log line: A thief posing as an actor teams up with a tough-guy private eye and a frustrated actress. The three stumble upon a murder.
Writer: Shane Black
Agent: David Greenblatt at the Endeavor Agency
Buyer: Warner Bros. Pictures
Price: n/a
Genre: Action Comedy
Logged: 2/25/04
More: Joel Silver’s Silver Pictures will produce. Shane Black will make his feature directing debut. Robert Downey Jr., Val Kilmer and Michelle Monaghan will star.

Sounds like another classic Black film, fitting somewhere between The Last Boy Scout (a tough-guy private eye and a frustrated ex-quarterback try to solve a murder) and The Long Kiss Goodnight (a tough-broad former secret agent turned amnesiac mom and a frustrated detective try to solve the mystery of her past).
What bothers me is the title, which is boosted Pauline Kael‘s second book of movie reviews. Kael explained her title this way:

The words “Kiss Kiss Bang Bang,” which I saw on an Italian movie poster, are perhaps the briefest statement imaginable of the basic appeal of movies. This appeal is what attracts us, and ultimately what makes us despair when we begin to understand how seldom movies are more than this.

(From Spicy Quotes)
One of Hollywood’s highest paid, most notoriously mediocre screenwriters lifting a title from the most respected film critic of all time? Not cool. Not even a little ironic.
Also, done, done, done, and done before.
Since she was smarter than I’ll ever be, I’ll give Pauline the last word, with this sideswipe at Black and Silver’s Lethal Weapon, by way of complimenting Jonathan Demme:

“Sometimes movies which you would think would be big box-office successes just don’t attract the wide audiences, either because of the way they’re promoted or because the audience is just drawn to Terminator and Lethal Weapon and doesn’t relate to the nuances of something like Married to the Mob or The Fabulous Baker Boys.”

(Kael on Demme)