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The New York Times: Obsessed with Vaginas
From The Most Private of Makeovers (Nov. 28, 2004):
As millions of women inject Botox, reshape noses, augment breasts, lift buttocks and suck away unwanted fat, a growing number are now exploring a new frontier, genital plastic surgery. They are tightening vaginal muscles, plumping up or shortening labia, liposuctioning the pubic area and even restoring the hymen, sometimes despite their doctors’ skepticism about the need for such cosmetic measures.
From Trying to Avoid 2nd Caesarean, Many Find Choice Isn’t Theirs (Nov. 29, 2004):
Women around the country are finding that more and more hospitals that once allowed vaginal birth after Caesarean, or VBAC (commonly pronounced VEE-back), are now banning it and insisting on repeat Caesareans. About 300,000 women a year have repeat Caesareans. The rate of vaginal births in women who have had Caesareans has fallen by more than half, from 28.3 percent in 1996 to 10.6 percent in 2003.
From Wes Anderson’s Faithful Diving Team (Nov. 28, 2004):
It is a question that Mr. Anderson, 35, has been fretting about of late. “The only thing I worry about is that I’m going to have my same exact audience that I’ve had, which I’m lucky to have in the first place,” he said, while dissecting a plate of branzino at the same table at Bar Pitti restaurant in New York where he and Mr. Baumbach invented their cranky underwater patriarch.
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I’m Really Freaking Out Here, Man
From today’s New York Times:
Wayne Llewellyn, the president of distribution at Paramount, said that the conservative ethos reflected in last week’s election results might have hurt [Alfie].
“It could be the mood of the country right now,” he said. “It seems to be the result of the election.”
But Alfie’s lackluster o.b.o. wasn’t the only thing to come out of this election. A look at some of November 2nd’s lesser publicized consequences:
DVD sales of Farenheit 911 dropped significantly.
The third season of Reno 911? Totally put on hold.
Jonathan Safran Foer’s drunken boast – “I’m so getting out of this fascist country” – now repeated ad infinitum to friends.
David Blaine’s healing powers significantly diminished. Street magic, however, is promised to continue.
I might have, just totally randomly, you know, just hooked up with this other girl, but it totally stopped before, you know… I can’t believe this election.
Syria? That shit’s on.
And remember how I said you should move in with me? It’s just that after this whole election thing, I don’t know if that’s really a great idea. In light of the election.
John Kerry unlikely to become President on January 20. American government largely overrun by crypto-fascist evangelicals.
I’m in love with someone else. Election.
Related: Yes, And the Story of an Old-Fashioned…
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Team Zissou Meets the PLO
Yasser Arafat, world’s biggest Wes Anderson fan, prepares for the Life Aquatic marketing juggernaut.
[With apologies to Radosh who, unbeknownst to me, got there first.]
That time the Italian guy said something nasty to that black guy and then the black guy said something nasty back to the Italian guy and Colin was all like, “We just tell it like we see it, people.”
Rhys Ifans in Enduring Love and its prequel Danny Deckchair
Rhys Ifans’ new film, Enduring Love, is a charming sequel to his even charminger Danny Deckchair, in which Mr. Ifans’ relationship with ballooning is further explored. Up next for Mr. Ifans? Maria Full of Grace 2.
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Hitch Your Wagon
Slate, in its noble but hopeless effort “to emphasize the distinction between opinion and bias,” allows contributors to reveal their picks for President. And while the legion Mia-philes will be fascinated to learn that arts writer Mia Fineman is voting Kerry, it’s Christopher Hitchens’ endorsement that is likely to raise eyebrows – Hitch, per Slate, is voting Kerry.
Nevermind his recent endorsement of Bush in The Nation (titled “Why I’m (Slightly) for Bush”), nevermind his defenses of the Bush administration that occasionally border on the absurd, let Hitchens explain his choice, with the clarity and concision for which he is known. From Slate:
The ironic votes are the endorsements for Kerry that appear in Buchanan’s anti-war sheet The American Conservative, and the support for Kerry’s pro-war candidacy manifested by those simple folks at MoveOn.org. I can’t compete with this sort of thing, but I do think that Bush deserves praise for his implacability, and that Kerry should get his worst private nightmare and have to report for duty.
So his Slate endorsement is ironic, but his Nation endorsement is sincere? Or he’s not interested in voting for Kerry for ironic reasons, but for obvious reasons? Or what the fuck? I’ll bet that piece from the Nation will clear things up, where this Merlot-fueled master of the mot juste really gets to lay out his case. To wit:
Sometimes it’s objectively not so bad that the “other” party actually wins. Thus I ought to begin by stating my reasons to hope for a Kerry/Edwards victory.
…
I can’t wait to see President Kerry discover which corporation, aside from Halliburton, should after all have got the contract to reconstruct Iraq’s oil industry. I look forward to seeing him eat his Jesse Helms-like words, about the false antithesis between spending money abroad and “at home” (as if this war, sponsored from abroad, hadn’t broken out “at home”). I take pleasure in advance in the discovery that he will have to make, that Abu Musab al-Zarqawi is a more dangerous and better-organized foe than Osama bin Laden, and that Zarqawi’s existence is a product of jihadism plus Saddamism, and not of any error of tact on America’s part.
OK, so that was totally ironic. Totally. But then what to make of what follows?
Should the electors decide for the President, as I would slightly prefer, the excruciating personality of George Bush strikes me in the light of a second- or third-order consideration.
That’s totally sincere (aka un-ironic), right? So then what’s with the thing in Slate? Did he change his mind in the four days between the publication of his Nation piece and his Salon rumblings? Maybe Hitchens has run out of things to be a contrarian about and he now has only himself to debate. Or maybe someone should just lay off the sauce this close to the big day. God knows I’m confused.
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John Peel’s a Dead Cunt
John Ravenscroft, aka John Peel, legendary Radio One DJ, is dead of a heart attack. Pirate radio DJ, punk patron and OBE, Peel, according to legend, was the first DJ to play a record twice in a row. Download mp3’s of recent Peel Sessions here.
Peel on Peel Sessions:
Over the years we’ve had almost everybody, except the Beatles and the Rolling Stones, of the kind of big bands of the past. More recently Oasis, I never really thought Oasis were much good to be honest, so they didn’t do one. Whereas Blur did a couple of times. My favourites would be fairly obscure things – the two sessions the Slits did during the punk era which were just magical, I thought, were just terrific. Oh, there have been so many. There have been so few that have been bad, it’s amazing, really, when you consider how many have been done. Many thousands now. Very few of them have been disappointing. The Clash did half one, and then amazingly said that the equipment in the studio wasn’t up to the standards that they’d expected so they couldn’t complete the session. Which seemed to me to be unbearably pretentious of them.
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Is Ashlee Wired?
SNL Moderator Jude Law introduces the second address from Ashlee [sic] Simpson.
Fun pose has been struck, appealing to “security moms” and suggesting Ashlee’s [sic] opening statement is about to begin.
Pre-recorded vocal track neglects to kick in, sending Ashlee [sic] into a series of uncomfortable smirks and horrifying dance moves.
As Ashlee [sic] leaves the stage a bulge is clearly visible from the rear. Could this be the result of a puckering in her Lucky Brand jeans, a wireless mic, or an especially large mole?
Marshall stacks and audio cables are evident. Ashlee’s [sic] shadowy backers attempt to maintain the facade that they are playing live.
Previous thoughts on Ashlee Simpson.