low culture Exclusive: The Aristocrats Punchline Revealed

aristo.jpgThe Aristocrats, the documentary directed by comedian Paul Provenza and featuring George Carlin, Whoopi Goldberg, Gilbert Gottfried and others performing their variations on the legendary, unspeakable ‘aristocrats’ joke, has emerged as a surprise hit at the 2005 Sundance Film Festival. It was acquired by ThinkFilms for an estimated $750,000, according to Reuters.
Most articles about The Aristocrats point out that even if they could publish the shocking, disgusting ‘aristocrats’ jokes, they wouldn’t dare for fear of ruining the punch line. According to press reports, ‘the aristocrats’ is the funniest joke ever, and to reveal it would be tantamount to a crime against comedy, not to mention, the film’s word-of-mouth marketing effort.
Well, since we walked out of The Crying Game and told everyone on line for the next showing that Jaye Davidson is a man, and delighted in revealing that the wife did it in Presumed Innocent, we’re gonna break ranks. Once you read the joke, you can decide for yourself if it is, indeed, the funniest joke ever told.
Knock knock?
Who’s there?
The Aristocrats.
The Aristocrats who…?

Why none other than the Earl of Gloucesteshire and the Duke of Wallingford. Do open up the door, chap: It’s dreadfully cold and we are ever so thirsty for libation.

10 replies on “low culture Exclusive: The Aristocrats Punchline Revealed”

“May I compare Your Magesty to… a stream of bat’s piss?”
“It was one of Shaw’s!”
“I only meant, Your Magesty, that you are like a ray of gold, when all around is dark…”
“How dreadfully witty!”

That’sNOT the ARISTOCRATS joke, which is much longer, lewder, and possibly unprintable. It is NOT the funniest joke ever. But “The Aristocrats” is arguably the funniest film ever.
And don’t believe Reuters. That’s not the correct purchase price either.
Watch out for the film at the Aspen Comedy Arts festival next week, and at a few other commando-style screenings at major pop-culture events. events. It will open in very exclusive engagements this coming summer

Thanks to mark for the ThinkFilms plugs and for displaying the stunning, incisive sense of humor that will no doubt make the marketing of The Aristocrats really stand out.

I think Mark meant ‘The Aristocats’ (1970) is the best movie ever. Available on VHS and DVD from Disney.

Two points:
It turns out that Kevin Costner really is Yuri all along.
Bruce Willis is actually dead for most of the course of the film.
Oh, and Rosebud is his sled.

That’s actually pretty funny.
… and that’s Michael Caine in the dress.
And Chuck Heston isn’t really a Mexican policeman, he just plays one …

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