Two Friends Talking: A One Act Play

Blair Calls on United States to Cooperate With Rest of the World, by Alan Cowell, The New York Times, Jan. 27, 2005.
TB: Mr. President, you need to cooperate with the rest of the world, sir.
GWB: Aw, hoss. Why you ridin’ my ass?
TB: Mr. Bush, I’m quite serious on this matter.
GWB: ‘Quite serious!’ Fah-fah-fah, I’m an Englisher! Spotted dick!
TB: Now listen here, Mr. President: I shan’t allow you to mock my accent. The world needs unity.
GWB: Shan’t. That’s funny, hoss. You callin’ me from a dang car phone, Tonesy?
TB: Busted, sir.
GWB: Now you know you can’t be callin’ me from no car phone, man! Ashcroft’s got one of them scanners: Laura and I gotta turn on the bathroom sinks just to talk dirty. You can’t be callin’ me from no car phone, hoss.
TB: Yes, sir. Well, Mr. President, I’m almost to my destination. Please do try to cooperate with the rest of the world.
GWB: Alright, hoss. You know I’d do anything for you, Tone. You’re my boy. You’re my boy, Blue! You’re my boy! You get that over there in Britland, Tony? Ya’ get it?
TB: Yes, Mr. President. I saw Old School. Very amusing. I, um, must go now. I’m getting another call. It’s Nelson Mandela.
GWB: Nelson? He’s my boy, too—
TB: Breaking… breaking up, sir.
GWB: Tony? Tony? Damn dial tone. Get it? Tony, Tony, Tone? Ya’ get that, hoss? Damn, I’m talkin’ to myself here.
[with respect to David Rees: You’re my boy, Rees!]

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