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HE: “…they said I was unqualified to be vice president but I was _his_ math tutor!”
SHE: “Nooooooooo!”

Former Vice President Dan Quayle, left, talks with Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton. Quayle said, “Hey, did you hear Cheney just overtook me as the #1 VP ‘most damaging to US reputation?'” Clinton’s response was “Ooooh, SNAP!”

This moment of “Remember when misspelling potato and porking your intern were the focal point of all our society’s ire?” is brought to you by the Department of Nostalgia.

“He spells ‘color’ with a ‘u’.”
Gasp. “Nooo….”
“And that guy, there? ‘Theatre.'”
“Well, I never.”

quayle: “Can you believe she paid $700 for that haircut?”
hillary: “ooohhhh! bill’s was only $200”

Quayle in a childish tone: “Up over there its Jesus and he is saying that this country has gotten away from family values and that’s why Bush was re elected agian”
Hillary: In a sarcastic mothering tone: “Yes Danny I see Jesus and he is saying that you are a total jackass!”

“No, Danny! I’m NOT pulling your finger again! Jesus! What’d you eat?!”
“Don’t you say His name in vain, Mrs. Rodham-Clinton! Or He shall strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger… he he… I like that movie…”

quayle: “no, thats rumsfeld over there- HE’S the one who sold saddam the WMD”
hillary: “ooh, now i see him. hey, why’s his arm in a sling?”
quayle: “he’s back to signing condolence letters by hand”

“Look Hillary: George put the wrong hand on the Bible!”
*Hillary strains to see and Dan pokes her in the butt*

For the 2005 inauguration Dan Quayle and Hillary Rodham Clinton put on an interpretive dance act on for the crowd. Themed after the November elections, the piece was entitled “Red State, Blue State, Your State, My State.” The conclusion of the dance featured Quayle distracting Clinton by pointing to the exit polls while he jammed his thumb up her backside.

In a vain attempt to get into Us Weekly, former VP Dan Quayle demonstrates “the shocker” to Hillary Rodham Clinton.

The Ghost of Inaugurations Past shows Senator Clinton what she looked like in that damned hat she wore.

DQ:”Thats the White House. I went there once.”
DQ:”I can get you some stationary from there, if you want. It feels really pretty.”

The Mothership HAS landed! Now we can all openly feast upon the precious bodily fluids of the cowering middle class!!! Ooh AAhhh OH , the agony , the agony begins now!

“Westerns, football, wrestling and cop movies are all homoerotically gay.”
“Is that why Spongebob is licking Jenna’s ear?”

“Take a look at the word INAUGURATION…….Let’s break it down……..IN-AUGUR-ATION, from the Latin ‘augere’, meaning an official diviner of Ancient Rome,… predict the future especially from omens… give promise of higher pay……better future.”

THIS ONE’S NOT BAD!….it’s by Peggy Jennings, she’ll wear Oscar and Carolina tonight……….when your time comes girlfriend, I’d go with Mr. Blackwell.

“Why is Mr. Hanky taking the oath of office?”
“Looks like a giant potatoe throwing devils horns to me”

DQ: I’m the ghost of presedetial elections future. If you choose to run, this is how Fox News will make you look in the primaries.
HRC: Oh, snap! That’s harsh!

Senator Clinton receives kudos from her new coach on her first attempt to move to the right.

DQ: “…and that’s how a bill gets passed now.”
HC: “But doesn’t Condi get jealous?”

“And that’s why sodomoy is illegal is most states in the Union,” former Vice President Dan Quayle said to former First Lady Hillary Rodham Clinton.

“Senator, I served with George Herbert Walker Bush,……..I knew George Herbert Walker Bush,………George Herbert Walker Bush was a friend of mine……Senator, HE’S NO HERBERT.”

Can you really deny that the world would be better off if this was the end of my second term? You can’t can you? Really puts it in perspective.

“Why won’t you return my calls? The nights are so long without you, poopsie.”

Dude: Can you believe people are PAYIMG to read this Haber guy’s quips in the latest Esquire when they can get them here for free?!
Hillary: OOOoooooh! Yeah. Burn. (Internal thought: “Are you Donald Trump?)

Dan: “Is that SpongeBob I see holding hands with Bill?”
Hilary: “No that’s what you would call “Mr. Potatoe Head.”

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