“Let’s just clamp down on this shit, ok?”
Toll in China Mine Explosion Reaches 166
Plane veers off Indonesian runway; 31 die
Typhoon Bears Down on Flood-Hit Philippine Towns
UN Says May Have Spotted Rwandan Troops in Congo
Ukrainian Parliament Votes Out Prime Minister’s Government
Holy fuck, that shit’s so boring, right? And I don’t even know what any of that means, really. Where the fuck in Africa or wherever is this so-called “Indonesia”, and why are they flying planes there? While I try to wrap my head around this global primitivism, let me instead focus on this bit of American news (finally!) that came to my attention.
And, yeah, it did most certainly come to my attention because it’s American news:
Rumsfeld sued for war crimes over Abu Ghraib
Oh, I totally, totally get this, given I read all the big papers each and every morning…It looks like a consortium of human rights lawyers are trying to bring attention to the various illegalities (mis)used in the Americans’ detention of suspects in Iraq. Boy, this shit gets me so angry! I cannot tell you how RILED UP this sort of stuff makes me! And to think we elected this Bush guy for another four years? What is wrong with this country?????
Also: if any alert readers get any more information on what happened with that voting fiasco in Ohio earlier this month, please, please, drop us a line.
27 replies on “Recent Events in the World About Which You or I Care Not, Though They Nonetheless are of Great Import to Someone Somewhere”
I think all those Chinese miners were insurgents though, weren’t they?
oh the humiliation of the naked human pyramid….
and the panties on the head – what horror!
is there a website for these lawyers?
i wonder what their position is on sawing the heads off infidels, shooting international aid workers, dragging the elderly father of an Iraqi policeman through the streets from the rear bumper of a car?
these guys have their ducks in a row!
Welcome back, Mr. Horns!
Say, listen, I (of all people) know how much fun it is to just stand on the sidelines and snipe, but have you ever considered writing something for low culture? Your satire is so subtle that it really puts ours to shame.
I really just freelance here, but I could put in a good word for you.
hey, the ohio recount is in progress, the libertarians demanded and got it. no official number was actually reported for ohio yet.
i, for one, would like to report 4 suspicious old ladies who took one hour to count 350 ballots at the polling place i monitored.
I found this neither hilarious nor insightful… is this just the empty, decadent snark it looks like? If you’ll excuse my frankness, I always come here expecting a certain level of quality. You often have really insightful things to say, but today, you really dropped the ball. Where did you really wanna go with this post about the explosions, planes, etc.? and then Rumsfeld? Why are you making fun of human rights lawyers again? Are you commenting on the obviousness of the news? Why — what’s the point? Pls explain… This is not a flame — I’m asking sincerely.
Col, dude, sometimes you just have to let jp be jp
Expecting more from a blog? Geez, those who commented are douche bags. I thought the post was funny. And the UN spotted those Rwandan troops, but the rest of the article I think goes on to talk about how they are too caught up in mutual masturbation to be bothered with it until “some people actually start dying or something.”
to the smartass who claims that abuses at Abu Ghraib aren’t torture – why don’t you try standing on a box with electrodes wired to your nuts for a while? hey, don’t flinch, raghead, or it’ll sting!
and just because religious zealots decide they want to act like animals and claim their actions are in the name of god, that doesn’t give our military the right to abuse our own prisoners. what sense does that make?
standing on a BOX!!!
oh my dear.
next you’ll be teling me they were threatened with DOGS!!
(which i was at a concert in miami)
mind you there are a lot of Iranians who can’t hear your high and mighty stance because their hearing is permanently destroyed from being abducted off the street and dipped in an acid bath. but thats what you get in middle eatern countries when they suspect you of being homosexual.
be outraged about torture, but but don’t ignore the egregious offenses around the globe just becuase you get bigger dividends in the fake moral high ground department when it is your own country that has “misbehaved”.
the morons that did that will be breaking rocks in Levenworth, but the endless obsession with those timid offenses will be used by Al Jazeera to paint a false image of our efforts and stack the cards against ourt troops.
and i think we all agree our troops deserve a bit more respect than that.
oh, horns, how right you are…
i can’t remember where i read this the other day, but here goes…
“remember, class, sodomy is a sin, unless its a glowstick shoved up the ass of an iraqi prisoner, lighting the way for democracy around the world”
and mcmullan, according to our incoming atty. general, mr. gonzales, religious zealots who act in the name of god CAN be tortured by our military…i suspect it won’t be long until he decides that suspected homosexuals can be dipped in acid for national security reasons, as well
Minotaur
you said “religious zealots who act in the name of god CAN be tortured by our military”
hopefully that’ll the Neocon Repubs/700 club at bay until gonzalez resigns in the next 2 to 3 years…
a boy can dream can’t he?
Minotaur
you said “religious zealots who act in the name of god CAN be tortured by our military”
hopefully that’ll keep the Neocon Repubs/700 club at bay until gonzalez resigns in the next 2 to 3 years…
a boy can dream can’t he?
oh, pooponastick, if it were only a dream that could come true…ag has been bush’s lackey for YEARS, recommending executions, burying records of dwi arrests, the list goes on and on…
guess i better get out my sewing kit and start attaching those pink triangles to everything i own, just to be ahead of the curve…
It’s just surreal that you people defend torture by AMERICANS by comparing it to the actions of regimes we’re busy trying to tear down. For god’s sake, don’t you realize what you’re saying: “Well, if Iran or some crazed terrorist does it, then we can do it too!”
Folks: we’re the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. We’re supposed to be ABOVE torture.
Or maybe you’ve forgotten that?
who’s defending torture by americans, besides mr. hornsofthedevil? i was under the impression that as the world’s most successful experiment in democracy, we were supposed to lead by EXAMPLE…however, when the incoming atty. general has stated that the war on terror renders the geneva conventions “quaint”, and we ship thousands of detainees off to undisclosed locations, presumably countries where torture is accepted, and the red cross warned the gov’t about torture in guantanamo and abu ghraib as far back as 2003, exactly how is that being “above” torture?
by the logic of our current administration, we ARE saying that “well, if some crazed terrorist does it, we can too.”
there are more people who state the Geneva Conventions are outdated. for instance, Alan Derschowitz:
http://www.aish.com/jewishissues/middleeast/Rules_of_War_Enable_Terror.asp
if you think we can never use any coersion to defend a free society under attack by terrorist forces – you are simply woefully ignorant of the stakes or manner of the conflict.
we are in a struggle and the point is to WIN. that is the bottom line and the only effective counter to an enemy that uses our freedoms as the #1 strategy against us, is to penetrate their inner circle. we do that by getting information, often, regrettably by a forceful tactic.
understand – they know how we operate. they have infiltrated our society, but we have not infiltrated theirs.
what do you think your odds would be playing poker against someone who can see your hand, but you can’t see theirs?
i was aghast at Israel’s use of coersion of terrorist prisoners. i was the first one to say that America should not align ourselves with such a country, but then i stood on my rooftop and watched airplanes fly into the towers a mere 30 blocks away from my apartment and you know what?
when our opponent does not discriminate between civillians and military, when they seek out chemical and biological weapons, when they strive to dismantle a culture without ANY sense of morality…
you have to level the playing field.
if you are a militant islamic terrorist and you are actively seeking to commit mass murder of civillians, you have negated your rights as a human being.
What’s the point of America if you have to stoop to their level? Where the hell did you learn that tit-for-tat morality? Some bubblegum church? Boy, I’d love to be there when they talk about how Moses handed down the “Ten Suggestions.”
“…when our opponent does not discriminate between civillians and military, …”
How many civilians were killed in “Shock and Awe”?
How about those babies who where killed when the van of women and children approached a checkpoint.
“…when they seek out chemical and biological weapons, …”
You mean like depleted uranium?
“when they strive to dismantle a culture without ANY sense of morality…”
Is it the culture they are trying to dismantle that is devoid of morality? Many Muslims, and not just the ones with guns see themselves as defending themselves against the decadent, sexually exploitive west.
“you have to level the playing field…”
Oh and that’s not what they think they’re doing when they pit their IEDs and swords and RPGs against our daisy cutters?
Or do you just love the smell of napalm in the morning? Just go then, man, the borders are wide open.
‘Nuffa this warmed-over, leftover “Heart of Darkness” B.S.
I’m with Antibalas: “INDICTMENT!”
you don’t understand the conflict.
have you ever wondered why dissident forces in Iraq NEVER used terrorism against Saddam Hussein?
have you ever wondered why those who opposed the communist leaders in soviet russia NEVER used terrorism against them in their own country?
or forces in Cuba? or China?
theres a reason for that bub.
the reason is that by its very nature, a free society provides terrorists with the BEST weapon against their government – the ability to use our freedom against us and to hide behind the laws that prevent oppression.
if a totalitarain state has a terrorist threat, they find out the town where they think the terrorists are from and BAM…
everyone in the whole damn town is dead.
end of terrorist threat.
thats why terrorism only works in free societies. because the odds are stacked in the terrorists favor.
you think we killed a lot of innocent people in shock and awe?
you are woefully ignorant of recent world conflicts. NATO and UN forces killed 5 times as many innocent people in Serbia and i don;t hear the same condemnation from people with your point of view. in fact, that military action is lauded as a prime example of how to handle bloody conflicts.
our armed forces have never deliberately gone out of their way to kill civillians. the insurgents in Iraq in the last year have targeted a school bus with dozens of children on it(killing all) and a school opening where candy was given out by our troops killing scores of children.
and YET…
you still assume the fake moral high ground that America is the evil forces. when will you recognize the real forces of fascism?
when they are here?
when your grandfather is dragged from the bumper of a car down the street until he is dead(as was done to one Iraqi policeman’s father).
and then, when the enemy ius upon us and slaughtering the infidels in the name of Allah, all you will do is complain that things weren’t done correctly. like your ineffective attitude of discrediting of any effort to engage an enemy ever did any good for the world.
you think the west is sexually exploitive?
do you think roman art is sexually explotive?
it is a curious position to take when on the other hand you like to decry those CRAZY christian fundamentalists huh?
ask Theo Van Gogh about Islam’s true intentions – oh wait, he was murdered for defending womens rights…..
mr hornsodthedevil
let me clarify some points:
1)”our armed forces have never deliberately gone out of their way to kill civillians.” – uh. so not true dude! when U.S troops raided a civilian village in Veitnam, the general say this baby crawling out of a pit of butchered women. so what do one of your precious guys do? lift the baby up, throw him back into the pit and then shot him in the head. wow. americans are such an example to us all!
2)NATO and UN forces made a MISTAKE. they said sorry. where’s Bush’s apology?
3)”and then, when the enemy ius upon us”-
dude- its not you COUNTRY. enemy? 95% of iraqis think the US is their enemy! they don’t want you there. take a hint.
4)”ask Theo Van Gogh about Islam’s true intentions – oh wait, he was murdered for defending womens rights” – first I suggest you stop using the idiots guide to being islamophobic. then you might JUST realise that ain’t ‘islam’s true intentions’ the reason he was shot was because it had a NAKED MUSLIM WOMAN WITH HOLY SCRIPTURE! hello – that’s like sooo blasphemous. duh! how would people of other faiths feel if their Scripture and Religion was misrepresented?
who exactly are you defending?
i mean, at what point do you stop putting your high and mighty posturing in front of other people in the world.
NOT ALL CULTURES ARE EQUAL
it might seem like a spotless crystal clean position to take, but it is not pragmatic or logical.
when a culture trreats its sisters and mothers like property – what is your justification for defending it?
are you defending the fact that women in islamic cultures cannot leave the house without a husband or brother?
are you defending that fact that they cannot be educated?
are you defending that they can be beaten or murdered for “impure behavior”?
humans are all created equal and that is an inalienable right and self evident.
what esle is your sensitive cultural senses protecting?
are we to protect cannibalism?
what about human sacrifice?
you are looking past the freedoms you cherish to defend oppression that just happens to conveniently oppose your own government – and what an irresistably counterculture position that is to take!
its called cutting your nose off to spite your face.
i’ve said this before in here and i’ll say it again –
The middle east will end its history of endless war and ignorance when women are given freedom and equality.
apparently you are against this.
and thats pretty sad….
Horns,
Just because some Muslim nations don’t have a crystal clear reputation on human rights doesn’t give us the right to violate human rights ourselves. Maybe what the US has done at Guantanamo Bay and Abu Ghraib weren’t as far across the line as beheading a western journalist, but pileing naked Iraqis up and taking their picture is still across the line. You yourself seem to feel that you are on the moral high ground, and if you’re going to do that you have to apply the same standard to us as you do to them. Indeed, because we are the worlds richest and most powerful country, we owe it to the world to hold ourselves up to a higher standard. Also, I think it’s worth noting that while most of the horrible acts that have been committed by Iraqi insurgents were done by loosely organized rebel groups, the acts perpetrated by America were committed by closely organized government agencies. And at least in the case of Guantanamo Bay, and probably Abu Ghraib, those acts were committed with the consent of the highest level of government in a nation that purports to be a highly enlightened and moral nation. That is about as far from Reagon’s “city on a hill” as I think that we can get.
i see your point Cubobo, and i agree with most of it.
i don’t think it is that black and white…. but i am glad that the majority of America is quick to condemn the embarassing antics of moron leahternecks.
– and that those responsible are being prosecuted
and that we DO hold ourselves to a higher standard.
its the creeping defeatism and glorifying of every misstep of our troops as proof positive that our forces mission is not a worthy one. that we are some “evil empire”.
thats hogwash
Horns of the devil,
its good to know that at least you don’t condone the atrocious behaviour in Abu ghraib. Moveover, it shows that the US does have morals.
Yet i can’t let your comments about all cultures not being equal pass. they’re all different, not unequal.
I’m a woman. I’m a muslim. I’m doing an honours in Religion. So, no offense, but don’t give me some crap about what woman can’t do in ‘Islamic cultures’ because guess what? – i have a pretty good idea.
don’t mix culture and religion. they may be linked but they’re not the same thing.
i didn’t give you any crap. those are the facts of the sad state of women in islamic countries. your inability to recognize the problem is doing your muslim sisters a HUGE disservice.
but don’t take it from me – take it from an accomplished woman, author and muslim:
http://www.muslim-refusenik.com/
Horns,
You yourself say “the sad state of women in Musim COUNTRIES.” Try not to confuse nations with a dominate religion adn the actual religion. I’m fairly sure Jesus never launched a crusade, but Christendom sure as shit did.
4)”ask Theo Van Gogh about Islam’s true intentions – oh wait, he was murdered for defending womens rights” – first I suggest you stop using the idiots guide to being islamophobic. then you might JUST realise that ain’t ‘islam’s true intentions’ the reason he was shot was because it had a NAKED MUSLIM WOMAN WITH HOLY SCRIPTURE! hello – that’s like sooo blasphemous. duh! how would people of other faiths feel if their Scripture and Religion was misrepresented?
Theo Van Gogh has a right to free self-expression. So does Salman Rushdie or any other “Blasphemer”. I support secular society and individual civil liberties.
Individual Accountability is the key. Don’t punish all muslims for the misdeeds of a few. Collective punishment is the problem.
The best way to deal with religious zealotry is the way that secular society has been doing all along – subvert it. If you attempt to oppress it, it only spreads. You must subvert it. That happens passively, just through exposure, no need to even force it on people. They’ll take the medicine when it’s available to them. They want sex, drugs, good parties. They’ll have it if we’ll only quit bombing them.
Torture is a horrible idea. Dershowitz suffered a profound corruption in his thinking. I pity him and others who lost their sanity after 9/11. He ought to seek treatment for PTSD. MDMA is the best treatment for that.