See? This is why you don’t hire Hilary Duff to attend White House press briefings

So, like, yesterday the U.N.’s nuclear watchdog agency announced that a whole lot of explosives were missing or gone or something from an Iraqi weapons facility. This, like, looks so so bad for President Bush, who’s been campaigning non-stop on the perceived strength of his, like, handling of this war on terror thing. We’re, like, fighting terrorists, and if they have weapons that they shouldn’t have, it’s so totally bad for our troops.
Yesterday, White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan fielded questions on the munitions – which are, like, missing – from reporters aboard Air Force One.

Q: Are U.S. troops under any kind of higher alert because there’s enough munitions for like 50 car bombs? Is there, like, any kind of alert going on for them? Are they on any kind of higher standard?
MR. McCLELLAN: I think you need to look at what we have done in terms of destroying munitions. As I point out, we’ve destroyed more than 243,000 munitions, we’ve secured another nearly 163,000 that will be destroyed.

OMG those numbers totally shot you down, anonymous White House pool reporter! Or should I say…Ms. Lohan!

4 replies on “See? This is why you don’t hire Hilary Duff to attend White House press briefings”

Holy shit, we’re a news source? Wow, and here I thought this was a dumb blog we did between our jobs and other distractions!
Now I find out we’re a bona fide news source like Matt Fucking Drudge! Hey, JP: Crack another egg on my balls and let’s get reputable!
Horns, old buddy. I love ya–really I do–but you have to start using your real name if you’re gonna respond to every post we do. Come on, pal: We show you ours, now you show us yours.

OMG: No. There wasn’t a search. The mission that the brigade had was to get to Baghdad. That was more of a pit stop there for us. And, you know, the searching, I mean certainly some of the soldiers head off on their own, looked through the bunkers just to look at the vast amount of ordnance lying around. But as far as we could tell, there was no move to secure the weapons, nothing to keep looters away. But there was – at that point the roads were shut off. So it would have been very difficult, I believe, for the looters to get there.

wow, hornsorama, speaking of news, it’s a good thing i watch nbc nightly news, and listen to tomboy brokaw:
“Last night on this broadcast we reported that the 101st Airborne never found the nearly 380 tons of HMX and RDX explosives,” Tom Brokaw, the NBC anchor, said. “We did not conclude the explosives were missing or had vanished, nor did we say they missed the explosives. We simply reported that the 101st did not find them.”
“For its part, the Bush campaign immediately pointed to our report as conclusive proof that the weapons had been removed before the Americans arrived,” Mr. Brokaw added. “That is possible, but that is not what we reported.”
also, hilary duff has a weight problem.

Yeah, and Brokaw is better-looking, makes more money, and has an easier-to-spell name than Comrade “Miklaszewski.” So who’s “stellar” now, hornsy?!?

Comments are closed.