One of my favorite games as a kid was to have my dad read me the headlines of op-ed columns and let me guess what the writers were going to say. We used to call it “The Great American Thesis Guessing Game,” and we’d pass many joyful hours this way, usually as I waited for my various spelling bees and model U.N. to begin or on the train to an educational weekend trip to Washington, D.C., Philadelphia, or Colonial Williamsburg (where I learned all about early American trucker hats). It was my absolute favorite game after memorizing every state comptroller and listing all the elements on the periodic table in weight order.
Maybe I was feeling nostalgic for those bygone days (the humdrum accomplishments of being an “adult” are so boring compared to the achievements I enjoyed as an adorable, opinionated child genius), since this morning I decided to play my favorite game with John “Norman’s Son” Podhoretz’s latest New York Post opus (Popus?), BUSH’S BIGGEST FLAW.
Ooh, ooh! I can guess! I can guess!
·He loves too much?
·Lips move when reading?
·Adult-onset backne?
·Doesn’t like cats?
·Cannot—simply can not—change printer toner?
·Obsessed with reality TV?
·Lacks “salty” taste-buds?
·Memory wipes clean every three minutes like a goldfish?
·Never washes hands after going to the bathroom?
·Right so often, he makes everyone around him look bad?
·Loves Maroon 5?
·Never cries at the end of Titanic?
So, Pod-man, what’s Bush’s “biggest” flaw?
“His capacity for complacency.”
Damn. How could I have missed that one? My dad’s gonna be so disappointed when we go to bird-watching this weekend.
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One reply on “Flawless”
Bush’s most irksome failing: still writhing in confusion post Phillips Academy, Yale College, Harvard BSchool. Embarrassed and now actively revealing his rage and depth of loathing for culture, educated, thoughtful and critical thinking.