Satirical Shallow

Movies for Dumb Kids

low culture‘s Special Education and Popular Culture Correspondent Nikki logs this report:
“In the high-stakes heist at the heart of The Perfect Score, due in theaters Jan. 30, six young thieves conspire to steal the biggest prize of all: the answers to the SAT.”— USA Today, Jan. 13, 2004
Tagline: “The SAT is hard to take. It’s even harder to steal.”
Other films coming soon:
The Queens Regents (alternate title, Bored of Regents):
Six 9th graders in Astoria conspire to steal the answers to the English Regents exam.
Tagline: “Pass the tzatziki, son. And pass the Regents exam.”
It’s Elementary:
Six 2nd graders conspire to steal the answers to the Stanford Achievement Test.
Tagline: “All they wanted was a 6th-grade reading level.”
My Big Fat Jewish Bar Mitzvah:
A 13-year-old Jewish boy hires his cousin to write his Bar Mitzvah speech for him.
Tagline: “He thanked God, Rabbi Lonstein, his parents—but most of all, his
cousin Jeff.”
A Tale of Two Two Year Olds:
Dramatization of the Jack Grubman/92nd St. Y scandal.
Tagline: “It’s fun to stay at the YMHA, but first you have to get in.”
Rainbows and Waterfalls:
Little Michael’s IQ test score was good… not good for his mother—Susan Smith.
Tagline: “Getting away with murder is even harder than getting into

2 replies on “Movies for Dumb Kids”

Can’t front on Queens Regents. Makes a great band name. Kings Regents too, for that matter.

Comments are closed.