From the Dumbing-It-Down Desk

Tired of slogging through Elvis’ baroque metaphors simply to find out what you should think about The Last Samurai? Don’t have the time to read all of A.O.’s musings on Honey?
Worry no more. low culture’s Dumbing-It-Down desk is here to, well, dumb-it-down for you. In the interest of bringing ourselves that much closer to the depths of Entertainment Weekly we’ve scientifically assigned the traditional star ratings to all of today’s Times movie reviews. (Please note that these synopsis reviews do not reflect the opinions of low culture, they reflect the opinions of The New York Times.)
The Last Samuraitwohalfstars.gif
Honey twohalfstars.gif
Monsieur Ibrahim twohalfstars.gif
What Alice Found twohalfstars.gif
Forget Baghdad twohalfstars.gif