All the Poop on New York Dogs

Great news! Conflicts in the Middle East are over, the economy has recovered, and nothing bad happened anywhere in the world today! Yippeeeeee!
How do I know this? The New York Times devoted half of the below-the-fold frontpage to New Yorkers and their dogs.
Listen, Bill, I have a dog, okay, and even I don’t care about this story. Save this stuff for the City section on Sunday and find something, you know, newsworthy to slap on the front of the paper.
Incidentally, many New Yorkers use the Times to pick up their dogs’ shit, so I guess this makes some sense.