Though, admittedly, it is easier to hug yourself when you pull in 58 percent of the vote after facing a presidential recall initiative.
Category: Grave
In today’s Washington Post, Dana Milbank reflects on the re-emergence of that old staple of Campaign 2000, the “Bushism”. And included in his anecdotal sampling (not to be confused with Jacob Weisberg’s voluminous take on this phenomenon over at Slate) was the following rather strikingly non-humorous bit of insensitivity from a campaign event in Florida last week.
From Remarks by the President at “Ask President Bush” Event, Okaloosa-Walton College, Niceville, Florida, August 10, 2004:
But we’ve got some strong allies, staring with the Prime Minister of Iraq, Prime Minister Allawi. They tell me the story of him. He was in London, England. He was in exile from his country because Saddam hated him. He wakes up one night and an ax-wielding group of men tried to hatchet him to death, or ax him to death. I guess, you don’t hatchet somebody with an ax. (Laughter.) And you don’t ax them with a hatchet. (Laughter.) He wakes up, the glint of the blade coming at him, and he gets cut badly, escapes. The guy hit his wife who never recovered, really.
Reading the transcript, it’s unclear whether he kept the crowd of rancorous Republicans “laughing” with some horribly asinine quip about an “axe wound that never healed.” But one can imagine. And we do.
From Chavez Appears to Survive Referendum, the Washington Post, August 16, 2004:
The opposition also had to outpoll the millions of Chavez supporters who flocked to the polls Sunday, eager to retain a president who has used the country’s soaring oil revenue to provide health, education and food programs for the nation’s poor majority.
William Sutherland, 40, a university student, was among those who rose before dawn and stood in line for hours under a punishing sun to back Chavez.
From Ignorance Is No Longer Bliss, Smartmoney.com, August 11, 2004:
Young voters have stayed away in droves in the past, despite high-profile attempts by the likes of Rock the Vote, founded in 1990, and others to drum up electoral interest. In 2000, just 36.1% of eligible voters ages 18 to 24 even bothered to cast ballots.
A Fox News ad at Rockefeller Center, located roughly one block from the network’s studio and headquarters. Hume, Hannity, Van Susteren, and the other guys? Their visages were left unmarked. Maybe these acts of defacement just mean that O’Reilly is a bad boss?
No, scratch that. Witness poor Bill, seen here in detail from a number of ads from stations all over Manhattan. And yes, in case you’re wondering, those rectangular shapes used to be swastikas on the guy’s forehead.
A mock/mook President Bush surrounded by his mock/mook cabinet, after being excused from class at their East 86th Street prep school
Brought to you by RNC Not Welcome and Counter Convention.
Categories
Breaking: Jim McGreevey, Ruck Star
New Jersey Governor James McGreevey plays rugby.
In CNN.com’s reporting that “Cheney blasts Kerry over ‘sensitive war’ remark“, the story opens with the following lead (emphasis ours):
Drawing derisive chuckles from the crowd, Vice President Dick Cheney Thursday blasted Sen. John Kerry for a remark the Democratic presidential candidate made last week about fighting a “more sensitive war on terror” if elected.
The White House’s official transcript of the event, however, hardly makes mention of the ‘derision’ expressed in the audience’s laughter, which is instead more succinctly conveyed as follows:
Senator Kerry has also said that if he were in charge he would fight a “more sensitive” war on terror. (Laughter.)
“Laughter”? What the fuck is that? Boring — and not derisive enough — is what it is. And if there’s one thing that drives this devoted newsreader crazy, it’s the posting of an incomplete and inaccurate transcript on the White House’s website. With that in mind, we’ve taken it upon ourselves to provide you with the complete and unedited script of events as they ensued at the Dayton Convention Center during the Vice President’s controversial speech.
[Heavily, heavily revised take on] VP’s Remarks in Dayton, Ohio, Dayton Convention Center, August 12, 2004:
Senator Kerry has also said that if he were in charge he would fight a “more sensitive” war on terror. (The gathering of large white men starts snickering, a delicate trickle at first, until three men in the back of the room begin to guffaw, which in turn leads to the audience’s eruption into a hooting, snorting catcall of scornful, disapproving laughter directed at that fucking pansy Senator Kerry. Can he be any more of a faggot?) America has been in too many wars for any of our wishes, but not a one of them was won by being sensitive. (A man in a navy-blue business suit yells out, “You’re damn right!” and nearby members of the audience stand up to give him high-fives.) President Lincoln and General Grant did not wage sensitive warfare — nor did President Roosevelt, nor Generals Eisenhower and MacArthur. (“Those were real presidents…they kicked the terrorists asses!” barks out an overweight and undereducated woman. The entire audience laughs merrily, because they know that George Bush is a real man, and a real president, and wouldn’t be caught having gay sex like that swishy Senator from Massachusetts.) A “sensitive war” will not destroy the evil men who killed 3,000 Americans and who seek the chemical, nuclear and biological weapons to kill hundreds of thousands more. The men who beheaded Daniel Pearl and Paul Johnson will not be impressed by our sensitivity. (“I’m heading down to Bath & Body Works to torch that fucking place! Who’s with me?” queries a furious, bespectacled man.) As our opponents see it, the problem isn’t the thugs and murderers that we face, but our attitude. Well, the American people know better. (“You tell those Democrats, Mr. Vice President, sir! I may not know how to read, but the USA is number one in my book!” intones a middle-aged man waving a copy of the Wall Street Journal in the air.) They know that we are in a fight to preserve our freedom and our way of life, and that we are on the side of rights and justice in this battle. Those who threaten us and kill innocents around the world do not need to be treated more sensitively. (“Let’s go beat our bitch wives!” cries out a cadre of supporters in the middle of the crowd, and the audience collectively hollers back approvingly. Someone else adds, “And our mistresses too!”) They need to be destroyed. (Applause, followed by a bearded man yelling out, “I’m going to go attack some black homosexuals!”)
Categories
And ‘N’ stands for no comment required
George Bush on the playing field: reminds us of another jock. And, rugby…isn’t that sort of gay?
Not that’s there’s anything wrong with it! It’s not as if the President were, say, a cheerleader, too. Oh, our bad.
“Push ’em back! Push ’em back!
Push the poor waaaaaaaay back!”
(Thanks to Michelle.)
Categories
Fat Cats in the Hat
Finally, the big-ticket endorsements for President Bush are coming in. Or, is this Bush’s endorsement of another successful nepotism baby? Well, either way, hats off to you!
He did always say his favorite book was Hop on Pop…