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Grave Satirical

low culture Exclusive: The Outrage Continues—Continuously!!!

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(Ground) Zero Tact: Another offensive Cingular billboard, Lafayette St. and Astor Pl.
On November 19, this website published a revelation so important, so earth-shattering, our comments database promptly crashed due to the overwhelming feedback we received.
I am referring, of course, to low culture Exclusive: An Outrage Grows in Brooklyn!!!, about Cingular’s insensitive Twin Towers-themed billboard on Fourth Avenue and 9th Street in Brooklyn.
Since then, the post has richocheted around the internet, spread like wild fire, grown like kudzu, and just kept going and going like one of those battery-operated toy rabbits.
If our comments were any indication, America was just as outraged by Cingular’s billboard as we were:

“so clearly … the twin towers”
“Advertising is subliminal. They want gut reactions.”
“… those are the Twin Towers…”
“…these are obviously … supposed to be the towers. i think anyone … can figure that out.”
“When the twin towers were still standing, they were the same size, which is why they called them the twin towers…”


And, most damning of all:

“i work for cingular and thought this was hilarious.”


Hilarious, huh? Well, apparently Cingular is upping the ante by putting up not one, but several of these offensive billboards on the corner of Lafayette and Astor Place, a few blocks north of the World Trade Center! Yes, it’s true: The outrage continues. Worse yet, the representation of the Twin Towers crumbling, falling apart, appears almost exactly where the towers themselves would appear when looking downtown. Out-freakin’-rageous!
Please, we urge you once again to boycott Catherine Zeta Jones, despite her endorsement of T-Mobile. Boycott her because she married that slimy Michael Douglas! This outrage must be stopped!
Earlier: low culture Exclusive: An Outrage Grows in Brooklyn!!!

Categories
Grave

Please Tell Me I’m Misunderstanding This Photo and They’re Not Eating Ham in a Mosque. Please.

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U.S. Army 1st Battalion, 24th Infantry soldiers relax near a space heater after a traditional Thanksgiving dinner of turkey and ham was delivered to their outpost in Mosul, Iraq Thursday, Nov. 25, 2004. Insurgents rose up this month in Mosul, Iraq’s third-largest city, during an offensive by U.S. and Iraqi forces in Fallujah. (AP Photo/Jim MacMillan)
Related: Somebody Tell Lt. Brandon Turner That He’s Insane [Under The Same Sun]

Categories
Grave

The Haunting of the President, 2004

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The Spirit: “Why won’t this damn ghost stop followin’ me around?”
One of 1,229.
Earlier: Thanksgiving 2003: The Mourn of Plenty

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Grave

At least the media’s finally admitting that there’s a “Pravda”-like element going on with this whole Iraq thing

As today’s Washington Post covers American troops’ latest movements into the war-ravaged region surrounding Baghdad, there seems to be a new element of self-doubt and, dare we say it, anti-patriotism creeping into the paper’s coverage of the war in Iraq. In other words, that unique sort of “what the fuck is happening here?” angle that we thought only Michael Wolff wasn’t afraid to touch! To wit, take notice of the following bit which appears at the outset of “Offensive Launched South of Baghdad”, focusing on the second and third paragraphs of the news item by Anthony Shadid:

BAGHDAD, Nov. 23 — More than 5,000 U.S., British and Iraqi troops launched an offensive Tuesday against a swath of territory south of Baghdad where armed insurgents have roamed through the streets, imposed stringent Islamic law and carried out kidnappings and summary executions at checkpoints along the main roads.
The campaign began with a series of raids this morning in Jabala, a town east of the most restive region, which Iraqis have dubbed the “Triangle of Death.” The U.S. military said in a statement that it had detained 32 men believed to be insurgents. In the past three weeks, it said, U.S. and Iraqi forces have arrested nearly 250 insurgents.
The military statements were impossible to confirm independently. The territory, inhabited by a mix of Sunni and Shiite Muslims, has become too dangerous for foreign reporters to visit.

Also impossible to confirm was Post executive editor Leonard Downie‘s newfound sense of doubt in administration propaganda. Because, as we all know, in March 2003 it was far too dangerous for American news reporters to congregate around independent booksellers and alternate news outlets while engaging in research on reasons as to why the invasion of Iraq may have been a bad idea at the outset…
I mean, responsible journalism? What the fuck is that?

Categories
Grave Satirical

“Welcome to Colombia, May I Take Your Order?”

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“I’m Lovin’ It”: President Bush meets the future outsourced workers for the only jobs left when he leaves office.

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Grave

Sybil War

001sybil.jpg“After enduring a brutally fought election campaign, Americans are optimistic about the next four years under President Bush, but have reservations about central elements of the second-term agenda he presented in defeating Senator John Kerry, according to the latest New York Times/CBS News Poll.”
Americans Show Clear Concerns on Bush Agenda, by Adam Nagourney and Janet Elder, The New York Times, Nov. 23, 2004.
“President Bush is heading into his second term, with his job approval rising to 55 percent, a new poll shows.
“Bush’s post-election bounce and growing public support come at a time when 72 percent of Americans say the country is deeply divided, according to the nationwide Gallup/CNN/USA Today poll.”
W. SOARS IN POST-VOTE POLL, Deborah Orin, The New York Post, Nov. 23, 2004.
And they say there’s no consensus in this country.

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Grave

Yeah, But You Still Have to Deal with Your Student Loans and Credit Card Payments

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Life and Debt (Less of Both, Actually): Finally, they’ll be able to own a home.
“The world’s leading industrial nations agreed Sunday to cancel 80 percent of the nearly $39 billion debt owed them by Iraq, a critical step in rebuilding the country’s devastated economy and an important precedent for its other creditors to follow.”
Major Creditors in Accord to Waive 80% of Iraq Debt, by Craig S. Smith, The New York Times, Oct. 22, 2004.
Related: Life and Debt, which is a fantastic film.

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Grave

Pricks


Many Who Voted for ‘Values’ Still Like Their Television Sin
, by Bill Carter, The New York Times, Nov. 22, 2004

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Grave

D.H. Pufnstuf

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Grave

Chile the Fuck Out

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“He’s not worth it, man.” “C’mon, bro, let’s just get another beer and forget about it.”