Related: Prince Charles Pushes Wedding Back a Day.
Elsewhere: Deconstructing Harry
Author: matt
Categories
‘A-‘ Shows Improvement
Categories
Luckily, We Can Read Vulpine Lips
“I know, it’s crazy, right? I’m basically a murderer thousands and thousands of times over and spent billions of dollars on a project that’s not nearly over and which will deepen America’s defecit for generations. Honestly, I can barely balance my own checkbook! Man, someone up there must like me.”
Related: “You sendin’ The Wolf?… Shit Negro, that’s all you had to say.”
(via Reuters)
Bloggers, or ‘Web loggers,’ may not have invented April Fool’s Day (that would be Pope Gregory with his conversion to the eponymous Gregorian Calendar in 1582), but as with so many other things, they have taken credit for improving on it.
As the clock struck midnight on April first, several prominent bloggers created puckish, at times almost humorous, stabs at April Fool’s content. As you might expect, many were parodies of other websites and the conventions of the medium. “Bloggers are a world onto themselves,” said Jeff Jarvis, who runs the website Buzzmachine.com and who actually called this reporter himself assuming she’d be doing this story. “So, of course, they’d parody their world.”
Categories
A Modest Proposal
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One Word For You: Premium
Remember the party scene in The Graduate where Benjamin Braddock is buttonholed by his father’s friend who has one word for him, “Just one word”?
Well, we have one word for you: Premium.
Due to the amazing success of our reader feedback module (you know, the little “Did you find this content useful?” radio buttons that have sprouted up on this site like wild flowers on the side of the highway), we’ve decided to go premium. Following the successful model of Salon and several other pay-per-view sites, we’ve implemented a premium area to provide our core readers with the best this site has to offer.
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Geli Raubal hates the word ‘celebutante.’
“It’s not even a real word!” she protests.
When I point out that ‘celebutante’ is a word—a portmanteau word, in fact, Geli sticks her tongue out playfully and says what she always says when the absurdity of the word flies smack-dab into her flawless, porcelain face: “Pish-posh. What does it mean anyway? That I should get special treatment because I have a famous relative? That I should get into clubs ahead of the line or get free clothes from designers just because of the family I was born into? Pish-posh!”
But like other young ladies in her caste—Paris Hilton, Bijou Phillips, Kimberley Stewart, and the Bush twins come to mind—she does get special treatment and free clothes. She even gets into clubs ahead of the line. All because she’s the favorite niece of her famous, well-connected, powerful uncle. And who is her uncle, the man who dotes on her like she’s his own? Well, you’ve certainly heard of him, unless you’ve been living in a bunker.
Categories
Sloppy Seconds
Fever Pitch, 2005… Other image available to Premium members only
Some ideas are just homeruns!
From, The Five Obstructions, Jørgen Leth, 2003.
Lord Byron once called shaving “A daily plague, which in the aggregate, may average on the whole with parturition.” After looking up that last word, it’s obvious that this Byron fellow probably had no idea how to shave. Had he been lucky enough to live in the era of informative how-to websites such as this one, he could’ve learned in eight simple steps.
Following these eight steps, you’ll be a smarter and closer shaved man than Lord Byron could ever have hoped to be.
Categories
Some Jokes Just Write Themselves
Meet the Tuminator, by Barry Wigmore, Daily Mail, March 29, 2005.
Curing Obesity through Sterility: California ‘s Controversial Program Under the Microscope, Pacific Northwest Medical Journal.
Related: Is it April Fool’s Day already?