From the first interview with the recently-departed Michael Brown since his ‘resignation’ on Monday, in “Ex-FEMA Chief Tells of Frustration and Chaos”, the New York Times, September 15, 2005:
FEMA, he said, had no helicopters and only a few communications trucks. The agency typically depends on state resources, a system he said worked well in the other Gulf Coast states and in Florida last year.
What does it mean when Reuters’ photo editor takes it upon his or herself to make the widely-linked photo above available through its wire service? Why, that the President was speaking to members of the United Nations yesterday, of course! Here’s the caption:
U.S. President George W. Bush writes a note to Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice during a Security Council meeting at the 2005 World Summit and 60th General Assembly of the United Nations in New York September 14, 2005. World leaders are exploring ways to revitalize the United Nations at a summit on Wednesday but their blueprint falls short of Secretary-General Kofi Annan’s vision of freedom from want, persecution and war. REUTERS/Rick Wilking
So, the gist of the news-worthy nature of this event: Bush spoke to the United Nations. And, it seems, the President wrote “a note” to Condi at some point. But someone at Reuters understands that of late, Bush’s popularity has been a bit worse for wear, and the usual “funny photo” of the President caught off guard just won’t do…
How does Reuters, then, sieze the moment? By also making available a blown-up, zoomed-in version of the image above, solely to focus upon the note’s most-certainly-not-classified subject matter.
Good luck with piecing together your moving, inspirational Katrina backdrop for tonight’s presidential address, Karl.
From “What’s in a Name, Katrinas?”, an article exploring the irksome after-effects of being named “Katrina” in these troubling times of ours, appearing in Sunday’s New York Times, by Allen Salkin:
Katrinas can expect three to five years of stoking bad memories before the sharpness of the pain recedes, said Katrina Cochran, a disaster relief psychologist who has worked with victims of the Oklahoma City bombings and the Sept. 11 attacks.
Ms. Cochran, who has been hired by Church World Service to counsel hurricane victims, said she hopes they will forgive her name. “People will see me trying to help and offering care and compassion, and it might actually help them recover more quickly,” she said.
Meet the new face of “poking fun”.
The noted socially-responsible, orphan-adopting, AIDS-research financing, poverty-reducing, and Chilli-fucking R&B musician Usher on Kanye West’s “outburst” last week:
“And the R+B star, who will be among performers appearing on an MTV telethon tonight (10SEP05), states, ‘I wasn’t mad at Kanye’s statement – that’s his opinion – but it’s obviously not the opportunity or the time to poke fun or appoint blame.'”
Emphasis added, because, of course, you can’t speak in boldface. Well, you can, but then you’d be a liar, as opposed to an idiot.
Alaska: the largest state, and the biggest elected-official achievement gap
You Voted Me into Office, but I’m a Fucking Idiot, Round 1
Senator Ted Stevens, Republican of Alaska, via the Associated Press, September 6, 2005:
Sen. Ted Stevens, R-Alaska, said the administration is “getting a bad rap” for the emergency response.
“This is the largest disaster in the history of the United States, over an area twice the size of Europe,” Stevens said. “People have to understand this is a big, big problem.”
Factual Refutation (fig. 1a):
Europe is about one-fifteenth of the world’s total land area…Area: 4,000,000 square miles including adjacent islands
By Sen. Stevens’ logic, that would make America’s Gulf Coast region equal to roughly two-fifteenths of the world’s land mass. That’s some awesome Bush-Brand Science!
You Voted Me into Office, but I’m a Fucking Idiot, Round 2
Senator Lisa Murkowski, Republican of Alaska, via the New York Times, September 7, 2005:
“We are just in the beginning of the hurricane season,” said Senator Lisa Murkowski, Republican of Alaska. “What happens if there is another hurricane?”
Factual Refutation (fig. 3f):
Hurricane season officially descends on the Atlantic June 1st.
By Sen. Murkowski’s logic, we get to re-experience our entire summer all over again! This means you can ask out that girl at the beach who was being all flirtatious and shit, but you were too cautious, too tentative. Thanks, Sen. Murkowski!
So, are they this stupid and misinformed because they’re Alaskan, or is it because they’re Republicans?
President Bush greets people receiving food and water at a Salvation Army relief area in a Biloxi, Miss., neighborhood devastated by Hurricane Katrina, Friday, Sept. 2, 2005. Bush is touring the Gulf Coast communities battered by Hurricane Katrina, hoping to boost the spirits of increasingly desperate storm victims and exhausted rescuers. (AP Photo/Susan Walsh)
So inspiring, the hope that is given from the President’s magnanimous arms before the AP’s cameras!
But, umm, wait…then there’s this, from the office of Louisiana’s Senator Mary Landrieu:
But perhaps the greatest disappointment stands at the breached 17th Street levee. Touring this critical site yesterday with the President, I saw what I believed to be a real and significant effort to get a handle on a major cause of this catastrophe. Flying over this critical spot again this morning, less than 24 hours later, it became apparent that yesterday we witnessed a hastily prepared stage set for a Presidential photo opportunity; and the desperately needed resources we saw were this morning reduced to a single, lonely piece of equipment.
With President Bush “out of the picture,” so to speak, so goes the show of support, it seems.
From “Public Begins Paying Respects to Rehnquist“, the Washington Post, September 6, 2005:
The flag-draped coffin of Chief Justice William H. Rehnquist was carried up the long marble stairs to the Supreme Court’s Great Hall this morning by eight former law clerks, including John Roberts, the man nominated to succeed him.
[…]
Justices Anthony M. Kennedy and David Souter were absent from the ceremony.
And so it all comes together, by way of this handy Kanye West-derived interpretation of these events:
KENNEDY: “William Rehnquist hates black people. Motherfucker’s dead now…Rehnquist got sonned.”
SOUTER: “Please call…Wait, what the fuck, I was down in the Big Easy helping to evacuate the city. Shorty can’t catch a break?”
From Wired News‘ “Queer Blog for the Straight Web”, September 1, 2005:
There are blogs for just about every hobby, interest and persuasion, but why don’t any cover gay lifestyle?
[…]
I can’t claim to have come up with the idea, though. David Hauslaib, 21, who operates gossip blog Jossip, did. Next week he is planning to launch Queerty (a play on Qwerty, the keyboard standard), which will feature the blogging of Bradford Shellhammer (yes, his real name: I checked his driver’s license). Shellhammer, 29, spots fashion trends for JC Report, the online fashion magazine published by Flavorpill Productions, and has written for Abercrombie & Fitch Quarterly, The Baltimore Sun and Gay.com.
Recently I interviewed the two of them at a cafe in Manhattan’s Greenwich Village, where they talked about their plans for Queerty.
SCENE: A small brick-walled cafe, colorfully–yet tastefully–adorned with the most masculine of motifs, including Robert Mapplethorpe photographs and rich, transcendently phallic iron sculptures. An isolated table with three chairs stands in the center of the room, at which is seated BRADFORD, a sleek and stylized prototype of homosexuality, and DAVID, a young and cherubically aspirational “gay bloke” who is wiping his face with stock certificates.
DAVID (sighing): Must reporters always be so fucking late? I swear…it’s scandalous how delicate the nature of time is to these people. And time, of course, is money. Gay money!
BRADFORD: Oh, relax. This is his big piece. I’m sure he’ll be here any moment. Give the fellow a break, eh?
DAVID: But we don’t even know if he’s cute!
BRADFORD: David, relax. I am so, so off the market. And he’s just a writer! Hardly big-money-man material. Truly, while a little plug-and-play here and there has never hurt anyone, I am not willing to betray Gus’ confidence in my behavior after that last fiasco in July.
A trim young bespectacled gentleman, ADAM, enters from STAGE LEFT. He smiles confidently at DAVID and BRADFORD and seats himself between the two.
Gasoline customers check prices and leave at a BP station in Stockbridge, Ga., Wednesday, Aug. 31, 2005. (AP Photo/Gene Blythe)
From “Looting chaos hits New Orleans relief effort”, Times Online (UK), September 1, 2005:
President Bush has called for a “zero tolerance” policy against looters and profiteering today as New Orleans descended into lawlessness.
RELATED: “Looting” or “finding”? Bloggers are outraged over the different captions on photos of blacks and whites in New Orleans, Salon
From yesterday’s “President Participates in Conversation on Medicare”, El Mirage, Arizona, August 29, 2005:
“There’s no way — I wish I could just snap my fingers and lower the price of gasoline for you. The markets don’t work that way. I’d be snapping if I could do it. (Laughter.) But we’ve got a strategy and a plan to help you.”
From “President Speaks to U.S. Hispanic Chamber of Commerce Conference”, Washington, D.C., April 20, 2005:
“A guy said, why don’t you lower gasoline prices, Mr. President? (Laughter.) I said, I wish I could; I wish I could simply wave a magic wand and lower gas prices tomorrow; I’d do that.
[…]
That’s why one of the first things I did when I came to office four years ago was to develop a national energy strategy. My first month in office I sent Congress a plan to put America on the path to greater energy security. For four years, Congress has discussed and debated, but they haven’t achieved any results. Today, members of Congress began debating an energy bill, and this time they need to give us one. The summer travel season is fast approaching. Gas prices are on the minds of millions of Americans. Members of Congress can send an important signal that they are serious about solving America’s energy problems by getting a bill to my desk before the summer recess. (Applause.)”
From “President Discusses Energy Policy”, Washington, D.C., June 15, 2005:
“But people got to understand our dependence on foreign oil didn’t develop overnight, and it’s not going to be fixed overnight. To solve the problem, our nation needs a comprehensive energy policy. (Applause.) That’s why one of the first things I did when I came to office four years ago was to develop a new energy strategy for America. And in my first months in office, I sent Congress a plan to put our nation on the path to greater energy independence. For four years, that United States Congress has discussed and debated the plan — with no result. So earlier this year, I sent a clear message to Congress: Get a good energy bill on my desk before the August recess. Now is the time for them to act.”
Of course, a few weeks ago, the President’s cure-all came through, just in the nick of time to save American consumers from gas prices that approach $3! Right?
Oh, wait.
