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Grave

Please, God, carry me through this time of great difficulty

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RELATED: Bushies feeling the boss’ wrath: Prez’s anger growing in hard times – pals, Thomas M. DeFrank, the Daily News, October 24, 2005

Categories
Shallow

Visage Visionaries: South-of-Houston Hipsters, or Houston Astros?

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ANSWER, FOR PEOPLE WHO’VE NEVER BEEN TO THE L.E.S.:
Bearded men in ballcaps = National Leaguers feigning their being up to the task of winning the 2005 World Series.
Bearded man in black and white = anonymous Silverlake-type dweller who probably feigns liking Elliott Smith and Paul Auster. Also, he seems happy, unlike the soon-to-be-eliminated Houston Astros.
RELATED: Time for a shave: Astros rookie shares thoughts on Game 2 loss

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Grave

In case you ever wondered what’s wrong with privatized healthcare

frist_kfc_healthcare.jpgBuried deep within this morning’s completely-not-shocking “revelations” that President Bush’s handpicked Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist (R-Tenn.) very likely knew what he was doing when he unloaded his soon-to-depreciate healthcare stocks, and may have been involved in some form of so-called insider trading, was this throwaway item:

Questions about his HCA holdings have been a staple of Frist’s public life. The Nashville-based company, the country’s largest chain of for-profit hospitals, was founded in 1968 by Frist’s father, Thomas F. Frist, his brother, Thomas F. Frist Jr., and Jack C. Massey, the former owner of Kentucky Fried Chicken.

Mmmm! That’s quite a tasty, fattening little nugget of information for our liberal diets.

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Grave

Redactio ad Absurdum

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In anticipation of this “Fitzmas” nonsense due sometime this week, here’s hoping special counsel Patrick J. Fitzgerald’s indictment(s) and/or reports are a little more nuanced and fleshed-out than this relevant historical document, the Senate Intelligence Committee Report on the U.S. Intelligence Community’s Prewar Intelligence Assessments on Iraq (July 7, 2004). Page 79, above, is from the section addressing Ambassador Joseph Wilson’s Niger reporting.
You can see it’s page 79 because, well, that’s all you can see. That and some nicely-formatted, indeterminately-numbered bullet points and indentations.

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Shallow

More Hilarity from the New York Times Magazine’s “Funny Pages”

You’ll laugh as Chris Ware “takes out the trash”!
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You’ll roar when Elmore Leonard’s tough guys hash over the Holocaust!
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You’ll roll in the aisles when Allison Silverman confronts the ugly face of anti-Semitism!
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The Times Magazine Funny Pages — Does the fun ever start?!?
Previously: As Seen on the New York Times Magazine’s “Funny Pages”

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Grave

Now Playing: The Ultimate Film About the Downfall of Big Institutions (Fun with Tom DeLay’s Mugshot, Vol. 2)

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(With the flashiest of thanks to James Reitano.)

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Shallow

Apparently, the Clients Thought “Download More Porn with Intel” Wasn’t Catchy Enough

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Grave

A message much clearer than the aspens, which turn in clusters out West

As anticipated, The Smoking Gun has posted Tom DeLay’s mugshot, taken earlier this afternoon. The wire services, however, lack our EXCLUSIVE* Ultrrrra-Zoom technology, and seem to have missed out on the hidden story, the coded message that Rep. DeLay is sending to a particular subset of his would-be base:
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SEE ALSO: The blogosphere’s semi-ridiculous Libby Writes IN CODE to Miller?, Daily Kos, October 1, 2005
*With all due reverence to Golden Fiddle. You go, boyfriend!

Categories
Grave

At this rate, they’ll become fully literate just in time to escape the calamitous effects of the polar ice caps’ melting due to your equally-disastrous environmental policies

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President George W. Bush: colorblind, or blind to reality?
From Education Law Gets First Test in U.S. Schools, the New York Times, October 20, 2005:

Fourth-grade math students showed some of the most rapid progress in closing the achievement gap between black and white students, Mr. Kingsbury said. Extrapolating from those results, he said, black and white students would probably be performing at equal proficiency levels by 2034. Other results, like eighth-grade reading, suggest it will take 200 years or more for the gap to close, he said.

From President and Secretary Spellings Discuss Nation’s Report Card, hurling forth from the straight-shooting mouth of President Bush (via the White House’s Office of the Press Secretary), October 19, 2005:

This is an encouraging report. Thank you for coming, Madam Secretary, because it shows there’s an achievement gap in America that is closing; that minority students, particularly in fourth grade math and fourth grade reading are beginning to catch up with their Anglo counterparts.

Categories
Grave

Mr. DeLay!!! Mr. DeLay??!! What are you wearing?

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Embattled former House majority leader Tom DeLay (R-Tex.), looking sharp in a shirt-and-sportcoat combo by BCBG Max Azria ($2749)
Texas Court Issues Arrest Warrant for DeLay, the Washington Post, October 19, 2005:

A Texas court today issued an arrest warrant for Rep. Tom DeLay (R-Tex.), the powerful former House majority leader, ordering him to appear for booking at a county jail in his home district.
[…]
However, the defense reportedly had hoped to avoid submitting DeLay, formerly the second-ranking Republican leader in the House, to the fingerprinting and mug shot photography that accompanies a formal arrest.