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Hello Muddah, Hello Faddah…

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A military inquiry has found that guards or interrogators at the Guantánamo Bay detention center in Cuba kicked, stepped on and splashed urine on the Koran, in some cases intentionally but in others by accident, the Pentagon said on Friday.
[…]
The investigation into allegations that the Koran had been mishandled also found that in one instance detainees’ Korans were wet because guards on the night shift had thrown water balloons on the cellblock.
Military Details Koran Incidents at Base in Cuba, by Eric Schmitt, The New York Times, June 4, 2005.

Dear Mom and Dad,
Greetings from Camp X Ray where if the food doesn’t kill ya, something else probably will! Ha ha ha. Just kidding.
I am having a lot of fun here and am meeting a lot of really, really nice people from all over the world. We do sports for one hour every day and we get to sing along to all kinds of music.
Our counselors are really crazy! One night they threw water balloons at us while we were sleeping! We all laughed a lot, but then we realized they got my Holy Koran wet and I got mad. But they apologized and promised all of us a pizza party! (Once a counselor accidentally splashed pee-pee on my bunkmate’s Holy Koran and we had an ice cream party.)
Next week we’re going to a petting zoo with real live animals! It’s gonna be great! We might also go swimming, but I am afraid I might drown. Ha ha ha.
I miss you both a lot and I hope to see you soon. Can you please send me a care package with fresh water and some Band-Aids?
Love, Your Son