“I’ve got a debate…this week. This week. People will hate me. They already do. I’m boring, they say. Fuck them! And my wife, my wife…she still loves her dead husband. Hey, you, get me another Sam Adams right here. This one’ll be gone real

If you do a google search with the words “Kerry” and “beer,” you will get several more pictures of Sen. Kerry visiting with locals in a bar. The one common thread among these photos is that in all of them, very little if any of Kerry’s beer has actually been consumed. This has created some consternation throughout the blogosphere. But never fear, for I believe there is a perfectly reasonable and nuanced explanation for JK’s reticence to enthusiastically partake of his tall stein of ice-cold amber lusciousness. Knowing the importance of controlling the symbology elicited from a photo-op, the cerebral Sen. Kerry had to conduct an internal intellectual debate amongst himself to determine what message he wanted to send. Obviously, he wanted to convey that he is just one of the guys. But also, in drinking beer, he wanted to emit the aura of a manly man. However, being of Gaelic descent (or at least having the “Gaelicly descented” mentor; Ted “Belch” Kennedy), he realized that real men only drink stout. So when Sen. Kerry was offered a pale ale, he determined that he would have to settle for the one-of-the-guys symbology only. And with further mental perambulation, he reasoned that people of his class don’t really drink beer, except at lobster boils of course, so it was not necessary for him to actually consume the said liquid. After all, most of the bozos in the bar would be so awe struck by his mere presence that they would never even notice that he did not condescend to drink that pisslike swill! Voila tout!

5 replies on ““I’ve got a debate…this week. This week. People will hate me. They already do. I’m boring, they say. Fuck them! And my wife, my wife…she still loves her dead husband. Hey, you, get me another Sam Adams right here. This one’ll be gone real

Josettesays:

September 27, 2004 at 7:48 pm

[insert ’round for the house’ comment here]

Anonymoussays:

September 27, 2004 at 11:19 pm

“So this is what ‘beer’ tastes like..!”

ben sumerausays:

September 28, 2004 at 6:07 am

Oh hell!!! I hear that a “windsurfer for truth” ad is airing tonight

Jerjosays:

September 28, 2004 at 4:57 pm

I read the GQ article. Kerry switches to Guinness by the end of the interview and prefers it to Bud. I’d say that pretty much insures my vote.

Bohemian Conservativesays:

September 28, 2004 at 5:34 pm

If you do a google search with the words “Kerry” and “beer,” you will get several more pictures of Sen. Kerry visiting with locals in a bar. The one common thread among these photos is that in all of them, very little if any of Kerry’s beer has actually been consumed. This has created some consternation throughout the blogosphere. But never fear, for I believe there is a perfectly reasonable and nuanced explanation for JK’s reticence to enthusiastically partake of his tall stein of ice-cold amber lusciousness. Knowing the importance of controlling the symbology elicited from a photo-op, the cerebral Sen. Kerry had to conduct an internal intellectual debate amongst himself to determine what message he wanted to send. Obviously, he wanted to convey that he is just one of the guys. But also, in drinking beer, he wanted to emit the aura of a manly man. However, being of Gaelic descent (or at least having the “Gaelicly descented” mentor; Ted “Belch” Kennedy), he realized that real men only drink stout. So when Sen. Kerry was offered a pale ale, he determined that he would have to settle for the one-of-the-guys symbology only. And with further mental perambulation, he reasoned that people of his class don’t really drink beer, except at lobster boils of course, so it was not necessary for him to actually consume the said liquid. After all, most of the bozos in the bar would be so awe struck by his mere presence that they would never even notice that he did not condescend to drink that pisslike swill! Voila tout!

Comments are closed.