Election 2004: Your Handy Guide to the Issues that Matter Most at this Precise Moment in Time

An aerial view of Najaf, which for some reason appears to be shaped like the Millenium Falcon.
FUN FACT #1: According to Reuters, mere hours ago, the American-led team of Iraqi security forces “moved to within 400 meters (yards) of a holy shrine in Najaf on Tuesday, just hours after the government warned Shi’ite rebels inside they would be killed if they did not surrender…An aide to radical cleric Moqtada al-Sadr said his Mehdi Army militia was ready to negotiate to end the fighting, which has killed hundreds, driven oil prices to record highs and touched off clashes in seven other cities.”
FUN FACT #2: “Najaf” means “dry river.” Of course, there’s no way to maneuver “swift boats” in a so-called “dry river”. What, then, do swift boats have to do with the important developments taking place in Najaf right this very moment? Oh, wait, wait, wait…”swift boats” have nothing whatsoever to do with Iraq, the U.S. economy, healthcare, the American class system, or other issues pertaining to a race for the presidency of the United States. Hell, swift boats don’t even have anything to do with gay marriage or constitutional amendments.
It all finally makes sense! God bless you, American media! God bless us, everyone! This is Tiny Tim, signing off from Darfur.

7 replies on “Election 2004: Your Handy Guide to the Issues that Matter Most at this Precise Moment in Time”

hmmmm, good point. as well, i’d love to know kerry’s stance on any of those points but i guess we’ll never know that one either.
make up your mind kerry. you can’t waffle around every issue. oh yes, maybe he can.

Yeah, we’ll never know Kerry’s stance on…wait, what’s this thingy? And these links called “health care”, “economy & jobs”, “energy independence”, “national security”, etc.? Stop confusing me! What happens if I click on one of these??? Guess we’ll never know that either…

quoting from “To make affordable health care a right – not a privilege – for every American, John Kerry and John Edwards will:
Cut Your Premiums
John Kerry and John Edwards will cut family premiums by up to $1,000. That’s $1,000 in real savings people can use to buy groceries, pay the bills, and save for their children’s future. And that will mean more jobs and more competitive American businesses.
Cover All Americans With Quality Care
The Kerry-Edwards plan will give every American access to the range of high-quality, affordable plans available to members of Congress and extend coverage to 95 percent of Americans, including every American child. Their plan will also fight to erase the health disparities that persist along racial and economic lines, ensure that people with HIV and AIDS have the care they need, end discrimination against Americans with disabilities and mental illnesses, and ensure equal treatment for mental illness in our health system. ”
it goes on and on. ask yourself this: HOW DO THEY INTEND TO PUT THIS INTO EFFECT?
will they raise our taxes? that could be one way. i personally make $65k a year and i really enjoy paying 27,300 in taxes. oh boy, i cant WAIT to pay more. yeah baby.
the clintons tried this once before. anyone remember that? and it was a huge failure.
you want low health insurance? fuck, we all want low health ins. the first thing you need to do is TORT reform. say it with me. TORT reform. lawyers are killing the medical profession. and do you think we’ll see any TORT reform under kerry/edwards? i think not. look up how edwards made his millions and you may “understand”.
i can go on and on about kerry’s other “great” ideas. unfortunately, he doesn’t spell out any way in which he’ll be able to put them into effect.
good riddance.

well think about it… your money was already wasted by bush with this war (take a closer look at the national debt), only difference is that bush never told you while he was running that he would funnel your hard earned cash into the war machine.
have you noticed how quickly bush and co dropped the “compassionate conservativism” rap now that they have the liberty to bomb people into submission?
at least health insurance has the potential to help people…
try removing the veil from your eyes…

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