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Grave Satirical

Tomorrow’s Corrections Today, vol. 2

Slated to appear on the New York Times’ Corrections page, April 13, 2004:

Because of an editing error, a portion of former Vermont governor and Democratic presidential candidate Howard Dean’s op-ed (For Ralph Nader, but Not for President, April 12, 2004) was printed incorrectly. The article stated: “Everyone expects this year’s presidential election to be decided by razor-thin margins in a few battleground states. Everyone also expects the candidacy of Ralph Nader to make the race between John Kerry and George Bush even closer. As I know from experience, however, voters have a way of proving everyone wrong.”
The last sentence, in its completed form, should have read in full, “As I know from experience, chickenshit voters have a way of trouncing on your dreams, spitting on your convictions, stabbing you in the back, pussying up with your peers who have stolen your message, and kicking you in the balls because they’re cowards, and dullards, and good for nothing. They can all go to fucking hell for all I care.” The Times regrets the error.