Satirical Shallow

Man on the Cross Street (Passion Survey #1)

We interviewed a completely random selection of movie goers exiting the 12PM screening of The Passion of the Christ at the Jerusalem Multiplex 16 to get their opinions on this controversial film.

“I found it hard to watch… for obvious reasons. What did I ever do to Mel Gibson?”
“Um, it didn’t end that way. I came back, you know.”
"Me? I don’t really remember much of the film. I tried to buy a diet Coke before it started, and they were all charging $4.50, and I’m all, ‘Fuck that!’ and got this free cup of tap water instead, which I immediately turned into el vino and promptly got wasted off my ass, sitting in the back of the theater…Jerusalem in the hoooouuuuuse!"
"The third act…was excruciating. It was painful to watch, outright unbearable."
“I liked the first half hour. The rest reminded me of stuff I’d rather forget.”
“I hate to quibble since he got so much right. But Roman Soldier #6 wasn’t such a jerk to me. He actually gave me a stick of gum, which was nice.”
“Pshaw! Like I ever knew a girl as hot as Monica Bellucci!”
"I didn’t get to see the film…they had a ‘No Pets’ policy in the theater. They wanted me to sacrifice my lamb’s movie going experience, and I said, ‘No!…C’mon, he’s not so baaaaaaaaaaaad.’ Ha! Get it? I make jokes sometimes, you know."

15 replies on “Man on the Cross Street (Passion Survey #1)”

One more to add, nods to Will Farrell:
“….and I was, like, ‘Oh, my Dad, that was a good movie!’ ”

I think that the film showed us the harsh realities of what really happened. For years people have tried to smooth over the rough edges of what happened to make it bareable. The truth is Jesus didn’t just give his life for us, he suffered much before his death. If you don’t know what terror he went through, you can’t appriciate it throughly.

I hate to feed the threadjacking troll, but everyone who believes in Ms. Jones’s tripe is a bit out of it. The point of Christ’s death was not that it was brutal or full of suffering, but that he gave himself willingly as the son of God. If suffering defined saviors, then we’d have issues, since there have been lots more people through the ages that have suffered worse than Jesus did.

i think Jack Nicholson should have played Christ. And Jim Carrey should have played the roman emperor, then at the end they could have had Tiger Woods come and hit the emperor with a golf club, but hey thats just me

The movie was o.k. but could they have a whiter person to play the virgin mary? I know exactly what is going on here MEL !

The media & Hollywood libs will never get it. This is a success because it’s the real thing. Straight scripture.

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