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Grave

The most fun people at any party

The NY Times revealed that the U.S. military has been practicing the craft of shooting down airborne civilian flights, should that ever become necessary, in case, well, you know.
Included is this one line, which seemed a bit more casual than perhaps it ought to have been:
“[The general] said pilots and ground controllers were screened to make sure they would not refuse an order to shoot down a suspicious airliner packed with civilians…”
Yikes. Just imagine how callous and, well, military-esque these people who made it through the selection process must be.

Categories
Shallow

Comodify your spin

Further proof that all DJs are losers. Tasting the Foie Gras, Listening to the Jam, by Glenn Collins

Categories
Shallow

keep it to yourself

jennifer_garner_elektra3.jpgI fantasize about being married to Jennifer Garner, too, but I don’t tell The New York Friggin’ Times:
“Mr. Wilson proudly showed off photographs of Ms. Plame, calling her a real-life Jennifer Garner, the actress who plays a spy on ‘Alias’ on ABC-TV and whom the C.I.A. has enlisted as a spokeswoman to appeal to recruits.”
Life imitates art which is also imitating life. Is the whole world a big Charlie Kaufman film?

Categories
Grave

You better work!

I blame Rupaul:
“As soon as they arrived in Anshan, however, the problems began. They were asked to sign a contract that offered monthly pay far below the advertised level, initially just $24, minus a $13 charge for room and board. Bonuses were promised, but only for those who produced eyelashes above quotas.” – Chinese Girls’ Toil Brings Pain, Not Riches by Joseph Kahn

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Shallow

Just ignore them and they’ll go away

coupling.gifCoupling once again temporarily fills the 9:30 PM timeslot tonight on NBC. This is like one of those nightmares where you wake up only to find you’re still in the nightmare. Memo to Zucker: Super-size Friends and Will & Grace and drop this thing before we lose more of the world’s esteem.

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Shallow

Going a long way to say something simple

georgewill.jpgGeorge Will shows off some unsurprisingly corny pop culture knowledge (what does Maureen Dowd think?) by wasting his opening paragraph with a drawn-out references to Witness. Are we to believe that Witness is the only way Will can discuss integrity? Why not The Indiana Jones Trilogy?
George Will, film buff and closet Harrison Ford fan. Who knew? I guess now we know posted all those Hollywood Homicide raves on Ain’t It Cool News.

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Shallow

Unintentional porno name in the news

nuts.jpg
Knut Royce.
Huh, huh, huh. I said “nut.”

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Shallow

So, what you’re saying is, the guy isn’t so tall?

stationagent.jpgIt’s a truism that you can tell everything you need to know about a publication from its choice of headlines and sub-heads. (What? It’s not a truism? It is now.) With that in mind, let’s look at a couple of magazines’ and newspapers’ coverage of the same thing, namely, actor Peter Dinklage and his breakout role in The Station Agent.
“He’s taken small roles to great heights — and now with Sundance fave The Station Agent, this up-and-coming actor is livin’ large”
Does your magazine like to use multiple, overlapping puns in their subheads that signal irreverence and a willingness to make nice to celebrities and their handlers? Hello, Entertainment Weekly! (requires subscription)
GET SHORTY AN OSCAR
Does your newspaper pride itself on looking out for the underdog yet have an unhealthy affinity for crass humor? Greetings, New York Post!
THE BIG TIME
Did your magazine agonize over whether to make a pun about your subject’s size and then decide to do it anyway? The New Yorker, you rock!
Actor Peter Dinklage lives large
Is your publication Canadian and therefore exempt from coming up with anything even remotely clever? Oh, Canada.com!

Categories
Grave

Scariest Empty threat since “Wanted dead or alive”

“[I]f there is a leak out of my administration, I want to know who it is. And if the person has violated the law, the person will be taken care of.
Quiz time: George W. Bush or Tony Soprano?

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Shallow

Best fact-checker dodge of the week

“Still, the awkwardness passes, and the sight of Joe wandering cheerfully into the shot, munching a bowl of cornflakes, or whatever, and hailing the baffled husband without concern, is my favorite encounter in the movie.”- Anthony Lane, The Current Cinema October 6, 2003