end run brought to you by ok soda
  November 22, 2005
At least the Vice President wraps himself in lies and deceptions, rather than blackface



Hey, members of the rightwing cabal, chill out, my bible-totin' brethren. The whole hullabaloo over the vice president's visage being obscured by a giant black X on CNN's broadcast of his speech to the AEI yesterday? We got all worked up about nothin', man. It was merely a technical error, see?

Which is far, far better than an error in judgment.

Posted at 5:32 PM in a Grave fashion.
  November 21, 2005
The highlight and crowning achievement of President Bush's federal taxpayer-financed, weeklong trip to Asia

President Bush rides with members of the Chinese Olympic cycling team on the Laoshan Olympic Mountain Bike Course in Beijing. (Charles Dharapak, Associated Press)

The Washington Post's headline writers illustrate the success of his trip as follows, and somehow manage to be both more and less pointed in their commentary: "Bush's Asia Trip Meets Low Expectations" (Washington Post, November 21, 2005).

But you know what? We're at least proud to say he is so totally beating those Chinamen! You show them who invented bicycling, George! And we'll pretend it wasn't the French or the Germans. And that no one can ever, ever, ever pass you on the bikepaths. Or tell you that you're wrong. About anything at all.

And then there's this, which, as always, is unrelated...from "House Approves Spending Reductions", Washington Post, November 18, 2005:

The House narrowly approved a broad five-year budget plan early this morning that squeezes programs for the poor, for college students and for farmers, handing Republican leaders a hard-fought victory after weeks of resistance in GOP ranks.

No word yet on whether or not the Pointless-but-Pricey Trips Abroad Appropriations Bill (H.J.Res.27, H.R. 48) will be vetoed once it hits the president's desk.

Posted at 5:02 PM in a Grave fashion.
  November 14, 2005
Unintentionally Hilarious Photo of the Moment, vol. 61


Posted at 1:51 PM in a Grave, Unintentionally Hilarious fashion.
The low culture 50 (Photos of People We Could Find)

People make the world go 'round.

Someone said that once, and while it's not technically true—angular momentum as explained in the equation L=m*w*r2 makes the world go 'round—people are much more fascinating, especially when they pose for photographs.

Welcome to the annual low culture 50, a definitive look at people whose photos we could find. This year's 50 run the gamut from cartoon characters to Presidents— and, no, that's not a political statement, silly! This is a 'shallow' post: None of that gloomy guff here. This is meant to make you smile. And if you're in The low culture 50, you really have a reason to smile!

Paul McCartney Wanda Sykes Ann Curry
Robert Johnson (BET) Robert Johnson (Blues) Ed Helms
Richard Perle Andre Agassi Jerry Rice
bell hooks Theo Epstein Steven Soderbergh
Fredric Jameson Carrie Underwood Elvis Mitchell
Stuart Price (aka Jacques Lu Cont) Martha Stewart Curt Freese, Ph.D
Keira Knightley Steve Case Steve Jobs
Les Moonves Harvey Mackay Robert W. Fogel
lc_50_aisha_tyler.jpg lc_50_christine_taylor.jpg
Howard Dean Aisha Tyler Christine Taylor
lc_50_dave_foley.jpg lc_50_eon_trotsky.jpg lc_50_frank_perdue.jpg
Dave Foley Leon Trotsky Frank Perdue
lc_50_goran_visjnic.jpg lc_50_grover_cleveland.jpg lc_50_jean_baudrillard.jpg
Goran Visjnic Grover Cleveland Jean Baudrillard
lc_50_jeff_greenfield.jpg lc_50_maggie_cheung.jpg lc_50_jesse_oxfeld.jpg
Jeff Greenfield Maggie Cheung Jesse Oxfeld
lc_50_jonathan_lipnicki.jpg lc_50_koko.jpg lc_50_little_ronnie_howard.jpg
Jonathan Lipnicki Koko Little Ronnie Howard
lc_50_mr_hat.jpg lc_50_nat_hentoff.jpg lc_50_Philip_Michael_Thomas.jpg
Mr. Hat Nat Hentoff Philip Michael Thomas
lc_50_quentin_tarantino.jpg lc_50_rakim.jpg lc_50_ringo_starr.jpg
Quentin Tarantino Rakim Ringo Starr
lc_50_sho_kasugi.jpg lc_50_the feral_child.jpg lc_50_wario.jpg
Sho Kosugi The Feral Kid from Mad Max 2: The Road Warrior Wario
lc_50_wilbur_wright.jpg lc_50_woody_harrelson.jpg  
Wilbur Wright Woody Harrelson  
Posted at 12:21 PM in a Shallow fashion.
  November 9, 2005
No, all they need is an inability to read, and a strong, well-defined dislike of colored folks

From "Texas Voters Approve Ban on Gay Marriage", the Associated Press, November 9, 2005:

"Texans know that marriage is between a man and a woman, and children deserve both a mom and a dad. They don't need a Ph.D. or a degree in anything else to teach them that," said Kelly Shackelford, a leader Texans For Marriage, which favored the ban.

Southern anti-intellectualism continues to thrive! It's almost enough to make one feel sorry for the faculty and students at a place like Rice University.

But not really. Fuck you, Texas.

Posted at 2:58 PM in a Grave fashion.
  November 8, 2005
Unintentionally Hilarious Photo of the Moment, Vol. 60


Posted at 2:23 PM in a Grave, Unintentionally Hilarious fashion.
  November 7, 2005
Sharon Waxman, Squeezing Water from a Handsome Stone (was: Jonathan Rhys-Meyers, World's Most Difficult Actor)


At Home in Oliver's Macedonia and Woody's London, the New York Times, November 6, 2005

Selected highlights from the Times' Hollywood scribe Sharon Waxman's interview/Q&A with actor Jonathan Rhys-Meyers, star of Woody Allen's upcoming tennis thriller Match Point...

First up? The 28-year-old actor touches upon this whole "crisis in the Middle East" thing and its relationship to his filming Alexander with director Oliver Stone:

RHYS-MEYERS: You had 20 young male actors, as his main friends, and then 350 soldiers who'd recently pulled out of Basra and Tikrit - they were all actual soldiers. These guys were constantly living their life to the full, because when they were finished, they were being sent back to the Middle East.

WAXMAN: Let's talk about "Match Point."

OK, so the subject of Iraq doesn't interest Waxman so much. Or, at least, an Irish actor's take on Iraq. What about an Irish actor's take on being, hmmm, an Irish actor?

WAXMAN: Are you very Irish?

RHYS-MEYERS: What's very Irish?

WAXMAN: Are you attached to being Irish?

RHYS-MEYERS: Am I in touch with my roots? Yes, I am very Irish.

And with that matter settled, young Jonathan returned to his pensive brooding, coyly maneuvering his gaze about the room, pausing ever-so-briefly to flit his eyelashes...and looking anywhere, anywhere but at this cursed interviewer who had deigned to help him promote his most recent film.

Posted at 2:59 PM in a Shallow fashion.
A man, (no) plan, a canal...

U.S. President Bush speaks during a news conference with President Martin Torrijos at Casa Amarilla in Panama City, Panama. Monday, Nov. 7, 2005. (AP Photo/Arnulfo Franco)

Residents of the Chorrilo neighborhood set tires alight during a protest against the visit of the US President George Bush in Panama City, Panama, Monday, Nov. 7, 2005. (AP Photo/Esteban Felix)

And half a world away...

A man attempts to extinguish a burning truck in Ramadi, Iraq, Monday, Nov. 7, 2005. According to eyewitnesses the driver of the truck died after being attacked by a US convoy that suspected him as a suicide truck bomb. (AP Photo/Bilal Hussein)

RELATED: Withdrawal Plans or Withdrawal Pains? Bush, Iraq, and his elusive timetable: Iraq Options, TPM Cafe, November 7, 2005

Posted at 2:44 PM in a Grave fashion.
From the L'il Gangsta Series

Rims sold separately
12 mpg city/16 mpg playground
Some rollover risk

Posted at 2:04 PM in a Shallow fashion.
An illustrated depiction of the discrepancy in campaign spending for tomorrow's New York City Mayoral Election between Mike Bloomberg and Fernando Ferrer


Mayor Bloomberg's ear-to-ear smile, as seen above? You can have that, at least, for free.

RELATED: Wrapping Up, Mayor and Ferrer Ask Voters to Ignore Polls, the New York Times, November 7, 2005

Posted at 12:42 PM in a Grave fashion.
Bai Ling Is a Liar, or, More Fun with Pull Quotes


Posted at 11:55 AM in a Shallow fashion.
Once Again, Teen People Neglects to Note That Ashlee Simpson Is Actually Quoting Breton's Surrealist Manifesto


Posted at 5:47 AM in a Shallow fashion.
  November 4, 2005
The Moment You Realize You're Reading Too Much Us Weekly, Vol. 1

You assume they're referring to Chris Martin, lead feyboy of Coldplay, not Paul Martin, Prime Minister of Canada.

Posted at 3:29 PM in a Shallow fashion.
  November 3, 2005
These two must fuck like mad

Secretary of Defense Donald H. Rumsfeld and his wife Joyce arrive for a social dinner in honor of Britain's Prince Charles and his wife Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall, Wednesday, Nov. 2, 2005, at the White House in Washington. (AP Photo/Haraz N. Ghanbari)

Posted at 3:38 PM in a Grave fashion.
Make our "team" part of your "team"
jean-paul tremblayJean-Paul Tremblay written-ed, directed and co-produced a bunch of so-called "comedy" and "video" content, is notoriously competitive, and nonetheless settles for bottom-tier tokenism. Repped by John Herndon at Grape Dope Entertainment. Thrill jockey!
matt haberMatt Haber has written for The New York Times, Esquire, and The New York Observer. He is not allergic to pet dander and can do "ethnic" accents if the part calls for it. He is repped by Candy Addams at Entertainment 4-Every-1. Feeling special?
Guy Cimbalo is so cute! Yes, he is. Who's a cute little Guy? You are, you are! Guy's our very own star of stage and screen and is repped by Jeff Kwatinetz at The Firm. Rowr!
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